Let's settle this once and for all: DC vs. Marvel Tournament

I didnt bother with jonah hex, but wolverine is a 1/10 for me. is jonah hex really worse than that?

Wolverine for the opening

THE FINAL VOTE:
X-Men Origins:  Wolverine
I think it should go without saying that I fucking love both of these movies.  I remember seeing Jonah Hex for the first time, as soon as they broke out the horse mounted gatling guns, I laughed hysterically and started applauding.  That movie does nothing but put me in a good mood.  X-Men Origins, though, is a Chuck Norris movie with superpowers.  It's a simplistic, one-dimensional movie about some asshole who tears through other assholes and is better than them because of course he fucking is.  I'd rather watch that than whatever the hell X2 or The Last Stand were, but that's just me.

The Score
Jonah Hex:  0
X-Men Origins:  Wolverine:  6



At least the rapists can't claim this one as a victory.  This is a step in the right direction for you people.  And it breaks Marvel's losing streak.

DC:  14
Marvel:  11
Draw:  2

ROUND 28!

IN THIS CORNER


Superheroes:  Bruce Willis as Frank Moses, Morgan Freeman as Joe Matheson, John Malkovich as Marvin Boggs, Helen Mirren as Victoria Winslow
Supervillains:  Karl Urban as William Cooper, Rebecca Pidgeon as Cynthia Wilkes, Richard Dreyfuss as Alexander Dunning
Civilians:  Mary Louise-Parker as Sarah Ross, Brian Cox as Ivan Simonov, Julian McMahon as Vice President Robert Stanton, Ernest Borgnine as Henry, James Remar as Gabriel Singer
Run Time:  1 Hour 51 Minutes
Director:  Robert Schwentke (R.I.P.D., The Divergent Series:  Insurgent)
Writer:  Jon Hoeber & Erich Hoeber
Music:  Christophe Beck (Elektra)
Cinematography:  Florian Ballhaus (The Divergent Series:  Insurgent)
Tomatometer:  72%
IMDB:  7
Golden Globes Nominated:  Best Picture (Musical or Comedy)
Story:  Retired black ops agent Frank Moses is considered R.E.D. (Retired and Extremely Dangerous).  Attacked at his home, Frank believes his would-be assassins have tapped his phone line and know about a woman he had been flirting with at the pension office named Sarah.  Trying to save her, Frank kidnaps Sarah as the CIA send agents out to find him.  While on the run, Frank teams up with other R.E.D. associates who may be able to help him.

Pros:  It's a favorite movie among boomers like Doomsday.
Cons:  It's not the Red vs. Blue prequel that zoomers like PG Cooper wanted.

AND IN THIS CORNER


Superheroes:  Aaron Taylor Johnson as Dave Lizewski/Kick-Ass, Chloe Grace Moretz as Mindy Macready/Hit-Girl, Nicolas Cage as Damon Macready/Big Daddy
Supervillains:  Mark Strong as Frank D'Amico, Christopher Mintz-Plasse as Chris D'Amico/Red Mist
Civilians:  Lyndsy Fonseca as Katie Deauxma, Clark Duke as Marty Eisenberg, Evan Peters as Todd Haynes
Run Time:  1 Hour 57 Minutes
Director:  Matthew Vaughn (Layer Cake, Stardust)
Writer:  Jane Goldman & Matthew Vaughn (Stardust)
Music:  John Murphy (Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels; 28 Days Later) Henry Jackman (Monsters vs. Aliens, GI Joe:  Retaliation, Kong:  Skull Island), Marius re Vries, Ilen Eshkeri (Hannibal Rising, Stardust, 47 Ronin)
Cinematographer:  Ben Davis (Hannibal Rising, Stardust, Dumbo)
Tomatometer:  76%
IMDB:  7.6
Story:  Wishing to make a difference in the world, teenager Dave Lizewski aspires to become a real life superhero like you would see in comic books.  He purchases a scuba suit and batons, Dave hits the streets as Kick-Ass, the world's first "superhero."  He soon finds he may be in over his head as he comes in the sights of mafia boss Frank D'Amico, who believes Kick-Ass to be responsible for attacks against his own men and business dealings, which are in reality the result of more experienced and violent vigilantes from the shadows known as Big Daddy and Hit-Girl.  D'Amico's son Chris tries to get close to Kick-Ass by posing as another superhero, Red Mist, in an attempt to bring Kick-Ass down from the inside.

Pros:  Two Quicksilvers for the price of one.
Cons:  This isn't Kick-Ass related, but I'm going to rant about it anyway: Evan Peters' Quicksilver is overrated. He had one good scene that everybody liked and that fucker has been coasting on it ever since. Nevermind that every Quicksilver scene in Apocalypse and Dark Phoenix is garbage, but everyone always points to that fucking kitchen scene when they brag about how great Evan Peters is as Quicksilver. You know what? Fuck that scene. It was directed by a rapist anyway. Aaron Taylor Johnson's Quicksilver is better, and you can quote me on that.

FIGHT!

Ugh!
Red

Red, for Malkovich.

One for Dracula. One for PG Cooper.

Already sent to Eyebrow Cinema P.O. Box

Never saw the Red flick.

I yield my vote.

THE FINAL VOTE:
Red
Both of these movies are wildly infectious action movies.  I might give the edge to Kick-Ass for being more inventive and more solid movie in general, but Red is just too much fun.  I have to give the point to the flick that I feel is more rewatchable, and while Kick-Ass is great, it's aggressiveness makes it a "sometimes" movie rather that the "toss the remote, this movie is on" movie.

The Score
Red:  3
Kick-Ass:  4



It doesn't matter how Extremely Dangerous the Reds are, Hit-Girl can slaughter them all blindfolded.

DC:  14
Marvel:  12
Draw:  2

ROUND 29!

IN THIS CORNER


Superheroes:  Ryan Reynolds as Hal Jordon/Green Lantern, Mark Strong as Thaal Sinestro, Temuera Morrison as Abin Sur, Geoffrey Rush as Tomar-Re, Michael Clarke Duncan as Kilowog
Supervillains:  Peter Sarsgaard as Hector Hammond, Clancy Brown as Parallax
Civilians:  Blake Lively as Carol Ferris, Taika Watiti as Thomas Kalmaku, Angela Bassett as Amanda Waller, Tim Robbins as Robert Hammond
Run Time:  1 Hour 54 Minutes (Theatrical Cut) 2 Hours 3 Minutes (Worthless Extended Cut)
Director:  Martin Campbell (Vertical Limit, GoldenEye, The Mask of Zorro, Casino Royale)
Writer:  Greg Berlanti (Love Simon, Arrow, The Flash, Supergirl, Legends of Tomorrow), Michael Green (Alien: Covenant, Blade Runner 2049, Murder on the Orient Express), Mark Guggenheim (Percy Jackson:  Sea of Monsters, Arrow, The Flash, Legends of Tomorrow), Michael Goldenberg (Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix)
Music:  James Newton Howard (Batman Begins, The Dark Knight)
Cinematography:  Dion Beebe (Chicago, Memoires of a Geisha)
Tomatometer:  26%
IMDB:  5.5
Story:  Hot shot fighter pilot Hal Jordon finds himself staring an alien straight in the eye when he stumbles upon a UFO crash site.  The dying alien is Abin Sur, a member of a race of alien protectors known as the Green Lantern Corps.  With the power of his cosmic ring, he can create constructs through light out of sheer will.  Upon the death of a Lantern, the ring chooses a new owner, and it has chosen Hal.  Hal finds himself overwhelmed by his new duties as a Lantern, and desires to give up what he has been given, but he is forced to man up and jump into action when Earth is threatened by an alien being that feeds on fear known as Parallax.  The outstanding extended cut includes such wonders as watching a flashback twice.  Highly recommended.

Pros:  It's DC's Cinematic Universe finally starting!  ..........oh wait.......
Cons:  Green Lantern is the fucking Star Wars of superheroes and you chose to let him spend his time dicking around on Earth whining "Why was I chosen?"  Fuck you.

AND IN THIS CORNER


Superheroes:  Robert Downey Jr. as Tony Stark/Iron Man, Don Cheadle as Captain James "Rhody" Rhodes/War Machine, Scarlett Johansson as Natalie Rushman/Natasha Romanoff/Black Widow, Samuel L. Jackson as Nick Fury
Supervillains:  Mickey Rourke as Ivan Vanko/Whiplash, Sam Rockwell as Justin Hammer
Civilians:  Gweneth Paltrow as Pepper Potts, Jon Favreau as Happy Hogan, John Slattery as Howard Stark
Run Time:  2 Hours 4 Minutes
Director:  Jon Favreau (Iron Man)
Writer:  Justin Theroux (Tropic Thunder)
Music:  John Debney (Jetsons:  The Movie, Liar Liar, My Favorite Martian, Inspector Gadget, The Scorpion King, The Passion of the Christ, Predators, The Three Stooges)
Cinematographer:  Matthew Libatique (Iron Man)
Tomatometer:  73%
IMDB:  7
Oscars Nominated:  Best Achievement in Visual Effects
Story:  With the world now knowing him as the invincible Iron Man, Tony Stark is riding high on a wave of popularity, even with the US government on his back about handing over his Iron Man tech for weapon development.  Stark refuses, but finds tensions escalating when Ivan Vanko, the son of Tony's father's estranged partner, attacks Tony with his own Arc Reactor technology.  Business rival Justin Hammer plans to utilize Vanko for his own gain, while Tony deals with a threat just as deadly and even more unstoppable...the Arc Reactor implanted in his chest is slowly killing him.

Pros:  Now that the origin is out of the way, we can finally get to the action.
Cons:  Any time now.  That action is just going to spike right up any time now.  Wait for iiiiiiiiit.......



FIGHT!

Iron Man 2

iron man