Dracula
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Post by Dracula on Apr 16, 2019 20:05:34 GMT -5
Now Jar Jar is leading Jesus & Ewan underwater to meet Donald Trump. I’m still trying to figure out how we got from trade negotiations to this. I'm still trying to figure out why they're blockading the planet in the first place. According to the opening crawl, the Trade Federation is disputing the taxation of trade routes. How do we get from complaining to the government about taxes to blockading a planet? You don't establish a blockade against one planet in order to convince the representatives of thousands of other planets NOT under blockade to give you what you want. It doesn't even make sense as a plausible pretense for invasion. Just invade because they've got something that's valuable and hard to find just anywhere, like Space Oil. You're forgetting that the true brains behind this is Senator Palatine and his real goal is to manufacture a crisis that will get him elected as chancellor of the galactic senate because of sympathy towards his planet. |
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Post by Neverending on Apr 16, 2019 20:06:22 GMT -5
Anakin is now free to become a Jedi like his father Palpatine.
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Post by Neverending on Apr 16, 2019 20:07:25 GMT -5
I'm still trying to figure out why they're blockading the planet in the first place. According to the opening crawl, the Trade Federation is disputing the taxation of trade routes. How do we get from complaining to the government about taxes to blockading a planet? You don't establish a blockade against one planet in order to convince the representatives of thousands of other planets NOT under blockade to give you what you want. It doesn't even make sense as a plausible pretense for invasion. Just invade because they've got something that's valuable and hard to find just anywhere, like Space Oil. You're forgetting that the true brains behind this is Senator Palatine and his real goal is to manufacture a crisis that will get him elected as chancellor of the galactic senate because of sympathy towards his planet. And that’s the only way he could have done it? |
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Post by Neverending on Apr 16, 2019 20:11:35 GMT -5
Darth Maul shows up right before they leave Tatooine... and nothing of significance happens.
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Post by Neverending on Apr 16, 2019 20:14:11 GMT -5
Senator Palpatine before he went grey
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Post by Neverending on Apr 16, 2019 20:17:51 GMT -5
The Jedi Council with ugly puppet Yoda.
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Post by Neverending on Apr 16, 2019 20:19:50 GMT -5
This puppet Yoda looks like he has Down Syndrome.
Isn’t there a “special edition” that replaces it with the CGI? I guess I can’t disagree with that decision.
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Dracula
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Post by Dracula on Apr 16, 2019 20:24:29 GMT -5
You're forgetting that the true brains behind this is Senator Palatine and his real goal is to manufacture a crisis that will get him elected as chancellor of the galactic senate because of sympathy towards his planet. And that’s the only way he could have done it? Yeah, he was a senator from a small planet, this put him on the galactic stage. |
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Post by Neverending on Apr 16, 2019 20:25:55 GMT -5
I'm still trying to figure out why they're blockading the planet in the first place. According to the opening crawl, the Trade Federation is disputing the taxation of trade routes. How do we get from complaining to the government about taxes to blockading a planet? You don't establish a blockade against one planet in order to convince the representatives of thousands of other planets NOT under blockade to give you what you want. It doesn't even make sense as a plausible pretense for invasion. Just invade because they've got something that's valuable and hard to find just anywhere, like Space Oil. You're forgetting that the true brains behind this is Senator Palatine and his real goal is to manufacture a crisis that will get him elected as chancellor of the galactic senate because of sympathy towards his planet. That scene makes even less sense. So Queen Amadala goes to the Senate or whatever to say Naboo is under attack and Terence Stamp is like, “nah we need to prove. Gotta send investigators.” Do these fuckers not have CNN or Fox News? Then Amadala is like, “fuck you General Zod. I nominate Sheev Palpatine as our new ruler.” This movie dumb. |
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Post by Neverending on Apr 16, 2019 20:29:42 GMT -5
Down Syndrome Yoda doesn’t wanna train Anakin. “His future is clouded.” Fuck you, Down Syndrome Yoda. You have a goddamn Sith Lord trying to take over the Senate and you’re clueless about it. I vote no confidence. Put Jesus in charge of the Jedi Counsel.
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Post by Neverending on Apr 16, 2019 20:35:32 GMT -5
Queen Amadala and Donald Trump join forces to take down the lizard people. Couldn’t they have done that like an hour ago?
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Post by Neverending on Apr 16, 2019 20:39:18 GMT -5
Is that Naboo or a Windows 95 desktop wallpaper?
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Post by Neverending on Apr 16, 2019 20:40:38 GMT -5
Why is Anakin here? “We going to battle. Let’s drag the child along.”
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Post by Neverending on Apr 16, 2019 20:41:46 GMT -5
Jar Jar: “steady. steady.”
I laughed.
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Post by Neverending on Apr 16, 2019 20:43:46 GMT -5
So an army of cartoon frogs vs an army of cartoon robots.
This movie was ahead of its time.
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Post by Neverending on Apr 16, 2019 20:43:59 GMT -5
Darth Maul, baby.
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Post by Neverending on Apr 16, 2019 20:55:05 GMT -5
Don’t worry, Obi-Wan. No one’s ever really gone.
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Post by Neverending on Apr 16, 2019 21:00:13 GMT -5
Darth Maul has been defeated. The droid army is defeated. Amadala has reclaimed Naboo.
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Post by Neverending on Apr 16, 2019 21:06:29 GMT -5
What a giant turd of a movie.
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Post by Neverending on Apr 16, 2019 21:07:38 GMT -5
Well, happy 20th anniversary to Phantom Menace. It’s horrible but it has its place in movie history.
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Post by Dracula on Apr 16, 2019 21:13:59 GMT -5
You're forgetting that the true brains behind this is Senator Palatine and his real goal is to manufacture a crisis that will get him elected as chancellor of the galactic senate because of sympathy towards his planet. That scene makes even less sense. So Queen Amadala goes to the Senate or whatever to say Naboo is under attack and Terence Stamp is like, “nah we need to prove. Gotta send investigators.” Do these fuckers not have CNN or Fox News? Then Amadala is like, “fuck you General Zod. I nominate Sheev Palpatine as our new ruler.” This movie dumb. Have you seen how the United Nations operates? The galactic senate clearly doesn't have a lot of enforcement power, it's part of why Palpatine was able to convince them to give him emergency powers in Episode III, everyone was fed up with their fecklessness. |
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Post by Neverending on Apr 16, 2019 21:26:17 GMT -5
That scene makes even less sense. So Queen Amadala goes to the Senate or whatever to say Naboo is under attack and Terence Stamp is like, “nah we need to prove. Gotta send investigators.” Do these fuckers not have CNN or Fox News? Then Amadala is like, “fuck you General Zod. I nominate Sheev Palpatine as our new ruler.” This movie dumb. Have you seen how the United Nations operates? The galactic senate clearly doesn't have a lot of enforcement power, it's part of why Palpatine was able to convince them to give him emergency powers in Episode III, everyone was fed up with their fecklessness. But then she goes and teams up with the Gungans to take down the Droid Army. So either way, that whole Senate shit was a waste of time. They leave Naboo, go to Tatooine and then to Senate planet, only to come back to Naboo and team-up with the underwater frog people. Movie is dumb. |
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Post by Dracula on Apr 16, 2019 21:56:48 GMT -5
Have you seen how the United Nations operates? The galactic senate clearly doesn't have a lot of enforcement power, it's part of why Palpatine was able to convince them to give him emergency powers in Episode III, everyone was fed up with their fecklessness. But then she goes and teams up with the Gungans to take down the Droid Army. So either way, that whole Senate shit was a waste of time. They leave Naboo, go to Tatooine and then to Senate planet, only to come back to Naboo and team-up with the underwater frog people. Movie is dumb. Going to the senate was plan A, in no small part because Palpatine told them to do that, but then when they realized help wouldn't be coming fast enough that way they go to plan B which is teaming up with the Gungans. Tatooine was an unintended sidetracking when their escape from Naboo doesn't go well. |
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Post by Neverending on Apr 16, 2019 23:49:36 GMT -5
But then she goes and teams up with the Gungans to take down the Droid Army. So either way, that whole Senate shit was a waste of time. They leave Naboo, go to Tatooine and then to Senate planet, only to come back to Naboo and team-up with the underwater frog people. Movie is dumb. Going to the senate was plan A, in no small part because Palpatine told them to do that, but then when they realized help wouldn't be coming fast enough that way they go to plan B which is teaming up with the Gungans. Tatooine was an unintended sidetracking when their escape from Naboo doesn't go well. If the droids are controlled by the donut-shaped-ship, why didn't Qui-Gon & Obi-Wan just destroy it when they were up there? Would have saved us 2 hours of our life. |
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Post by Deexan on Apr 17, 2019 5:17:39 GMT -5
The answer to all of the questions is George Lucas's Neck.
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