Neverending
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Post by Neverending on Apr 16, 2019 19:06:18 GMT -5
“E-squeeze-me”
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Neverending
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Post by Neverending on Apr 16, 2019 19:07:51 GMT -5
Now Jar Jar is leading Jesus & Ewan underwater to meet Donald Trump.
I’m still trying to figure out how we got from trade negotiations to this.
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Neverending
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Post by Neverending on Apr 16, 2019 19:08:29 GMT -5
“Me-Sa-No-Think-So”
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Neverending
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Post by Neverending on Apr 16, 2019 19:11:29 GMT -5
Oh no. They getting chased by that giant fish.
Is this what Avatar 2 gonna look like?
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Neverending
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Post by Neverending on Apr 16, 2019 19:15:52 GMT -5
“The invasion on schedule, sir.”
Why not just begin the movie with the invasion? Just be like, “hey here’s Natalie Portman, a child Queen. She don’t know shit. So these lizard people gonna attack the planet.” Why have we wasted 20 minutes on taxes and trade routes and Jar Jar and Donald Trump and underwater adventure with giant fishes?
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Neverending
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Post by Neverending on Apr 16, 2019 19:17:22 GMT -5
Jesus and Ewan show up in time to rescue Keira Knightly. Yes. Keira Knightly. This clearly not Natalie Portman. You don’t fool me!!!!!
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Neverending
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Post by Neverending on Apr 16, 2019 19:19:58 GMT -5
Is that R2?
Well, thanks to R2 they escape the planet and the blockade.
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Neverending
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Post by Neverending on Apr 16, 2019 19:21:31 GMT -5
So now Darth Maul has been dispatched to haunt down Natalie Portman and the Jedi’s.
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Neverending
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Post by Neverending on Apr 16, 2019 19:23:00 GMT -5
We’re at 29 minutes. I feel like we’ve watched a whole damn movie. Maybe this time could have been used to establish a story and characters. Instead this shit is on autopilot.
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Neverending
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Post by Neverending on Apr 16, 2019 19:23:36 GMT -5
Now we’re at Tatooine.
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Neverending
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Post by Neverending on Apr 16, 2019 19:24:12 GMT -5
Jar Jar stepped on poop
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Neverending
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Post by Neverending on Apr 16, 2019 19:24:53 GMT -5
Hey. It’s Anakin.
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Neverending
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Post by Neverending on Apr 16, 2019 19:26:44 GMT -5
Anakin to Portman: “are you an angel?”
This kid is, like, 4-years-old. What he doing flirting with Natalie Portman... whose like 12?
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Neverending
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Post by Neverending on Apr 16, 2019 19:28:05 GMT -5
Who this asshole with the big nose & wings? I remember him fondly from the Nintendo 64 pod racing game.
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Neverending
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Post by Neverending on Apr 16, 2019 19:28:29 GMT -5
“Yippee!”
Why.
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Neverending
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Post by Neverending on Apr 16, 2019 19:32:13 GMT -5
“Storm’s coming”
Hey, you stole that line from Christopher Nolan!
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Neverending
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Post by Neverending on Apr 16, 2019 19:32:47 GMT -5
Oh, shit. C-3PO. He was built by Anakin. Whaaat?
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Neverending
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Post by Neverending on Apr 16, 2019 19:35:58 GMT -5
Bro, we went from a million things happening to nothing happening. Now we just chillin here at Tatooine, drinking our blue milk and chatting about Midichlorians.
You know what, movie? Go fuck yourself.
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Wyldstaar
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Post by Wyldstaar on Apr 16, 2019 19:37:09 GMT -5
Now Jar Jar is leading Jesus & Ewan underwater to meet Donald Trump. I’m still trying to figure out how we got from trade negotiations to this. I'm still trying to figure out why they're blockading the planet in the first place. According to the opening crawl, the Trade Federation is disputing the taxation of trade routes. How do we get from complaining to the government about taxes to blockading a planet? You don't establish a blockade against one planet in order to convince the representatives of thousands of other planets NOT under blockade to give you what you want. It doesn't even make sense as a plausible pretense for invasion. Just invade because they've got something that's valuable and hard to find just anywhere, like Space Oil. |
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Neverending
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Post by Neverending on Apr 16, 2019 19:40:38 GMT -5
Why we pod racing? Isn’t there a planet under attack by lizard people??? What’s going on???!!! This movie makes no sense. I don’t understand what’s going on. I don’t know who the fuck these people are. Jesus fuck. The Last Jedi is better than this shit. And that says a lot.
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Neverending
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Post by Neverending on Apr 16, 2019 19:42:31 GMT -5
Now Jar Jar is leading Jesus & Ewan underwater to meet Donald Trump. I’m still trying to figure out how we got from trade negotiations to this. I'm still trying to figure out why they're blockading the planet in the first place. According to the opening crawl, the Trade Federation is disputing the taxation of trade routes. How do we get from complaining to the government about taxes to blockading a planet? You don't establish a blockade against one planet in order to convince the representatives of thousands of other planets NOT under blockade to give you what you want. It doesn't even make sense as a plausible pretense for invasion. Just invade because they've got something that's valuable and hard to find just anywhere, like Space Oil. Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
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Neverending
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Post by Neverending on Apr 16, 2019 19:47:08 GMT -5
Now Jar Jar is leading Jesus & Ewan underwater to meet Donald Trump. I’m still trying to figure out how we got from trade negotiations to this. I'm still trying to figure out why they're blockading the planet in the first place. According to the opening crawl, the Trade Federation is disputing the taxation of trade routes. How do we get from complaining to the government about taxes to blockading a planet? You don't establish a blockade against one planet in order to convince the representatives of thousands of other planets NOT under blockade to give you what you want. It doesn't even make sense as a plausible pretense for invasion. Just invade because they've got something that's valuable and hard to find just anywhere, like Space Oil. Okay. Fine. Let’s say it’s some metaphor for the Boston Tea Party or whatever. That’s fine. But what’s the point of sending two Jedi’s to negotiate and then invading before hearing what they even have to say. It makes no sense. At least have the meeting and then have the lizard people slam the table in anger and say, “time to talk is over. We going to war!” Set up the story. Set up the characters. |
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Neverending
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Post by Neverending on Apr 16, 2019 19:49:30 GMT -5
Alright. We finally at the pod racing scene. We wasted like 25 minutes setting up this scene. For what? I have no fucking idea.
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Neverending
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Post by Neverending on Apr 16, 2019 19:52:18 GMT -5
It’s Jabba.
... okay...
Did people actually cheer when that fatass showed up?
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Neverending
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Post by Neverending on Apr 16, 2019 20:03:25 GMT -5
Pod racing scene is good. Sandpeople, Child Greeto and all.
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