Rogue One: A Star Wars Story - Review Thread

Star Wars Holiday Special for the win. Rifftrax version preferred.

Necroquoting! Woot!

Really??!!??!!??!

Phantom Menace in 5th place???!!!!

That movie had soooooo much wrong with it. 

The boring Trade Federation crap? The over the top racist steriotype accents of most of the aliens?
The way to long "see our special effect coolness" trip pretty much just to meet Jar Jar Binks? The most lame character ever!
How about the throw away of the villain Darth Maul within one movie? Or the most boring walkthrough of a young Ben Kenobi possible?  Jake Lloyd? Natalie Portman also did pretty much a walkthrough for a pay check just because she reminded everyone of a young Carrie Fisher, but had none.of the spark. And how about the stark difference in the ages of the future lovers? How did he age so much in the second movie when she didn't?
Really? Was Amadalla a cougar?!!
Lol
You can't hardly shake a stick without hitting a flaw in that piece of garbage

I don't have as much enthusiasm for Phantom as Drac does, but I do think it's easily the best of the prequels. Also, while the Disney era Star Wars movies are better than the prequels, I think the prequels are a lot more interesting.

Alright, so, remember the only movies I ranked it over were the other prequels and Rogue One. Rogue One might grow on me when I rewatch it so I'm a little less confident there but I emphatically like TPM better than the other prequels, especially episode 2. It has actual sets and locations and is noticeably better looking in general and looks like an actual real movie more than a George Lucas tech demo. The light saber duel is easily the best action scene in the prequel trilogy and the score in that scene is a John Williams classic. Compare that with, say, the arena scene in episode 2 and it isn't even close. Annoying as Jake Lloyd is, he at least has the excuse of being a goofy kid, what's Hayden Christiansen's excuse. What's more making Anakin this cute (in theory) kid helps underscore the tragedy of him falling to the dark side later in life. Same can sort of be said about Jar Jar, they were trying to set up a more frivolous time for the galaxy before "the fall." Granted, they probably went to far but it wasn't an inherently terrible idea.

At least they're not the "Everything Wrong With" people

IV
V
VII
RO
VI
I
III
II

Why?

I've now gone through most of the main films, many of which I have already seen many times. Now I'm going to look at the spin-offs, both of which I have only seen once each in theaters. Rogue One was particularly awkward after watching it, as we saw it in a large group then went out for drinks to discuss after (remember when we could go to movie theaters and then go to the pub? In groups??) It seemed that I was the only one who didn't like the film so I remained silent. My friends have told me many times since then to give it another chance. So here I am.

Highlights

- The basic premise works pretty well. The main character's father designed the Death Star but purposefully made a flaw. A team is sent to retrieve the information. It works well enough to hang the movie on.

- There are lots of great visuals. I particularly like seeing the Death Star actually be built. I also think that the final space battle looks amazing. It would have been better had we actually known any of the characters in that battle, but oh well. I really liked seeing the two Star Destroyers collide.

- The idea of a tropical island planet was a great addition. It looked amazing, and seeing Stormtroopers march on beaches and AT-ATs stomp through the palm trees was a feast for the eyes.

- K2S0 was a fun new droid character who provided some much needed personality.

- I thought Ben Mendelson crafted a great villain in Director Krennig. He was menacing enough while clearly having his own motivations and not being exactly like other stiff Imperial officers.

- It was cool to see Vader again, even though James Earl Jones' voice sure ain't what it used to be. It was also fun to actually see him on Mustafar.

Downfalls

- Perhaps my biggest strike against the film is that its just sort of dull. I found myself bored through most of the middle section in particular. The basic story makes sense, but there's not really an sparks of interest throughout. This problem may be because...

- The characters were bland. As much as I like Felicity Jones, Jin Urso didn't seem to have much personality. Neither did most of the crew they put together, other than the droid mentioned above. The closest was the former imperial pilot, but they don't really take his arc where they could have. Another problem here is that I didn't there was much of a relationship built between the characters themselves, which was a huge strength of Force Awakens. They were just sharing the same space.

- I especially want to point out the blind character, who the filmmakers clearly wanted to be a Jedi, but didn't want to break canon. So they made him some sort of half-Jedi, Force cultist. I didn't like this; it felt very much like fan fiction. I especially cringed with that maxim he would constantly chant: "I am with the force, the force is with me". May the Force Be With You is one of the most popular adages in film. Stay in your lane.

- Saw Gerrera was a completely ridiculous character.

- I like the decision to keep John William's as composer only for the main series of films. But that means that this movie's music does suffer as a result, being a definite step down. No offense to Gianchinno, as he's made some great stuff, but William's he ain't.

- The decision to give us a CG Tarkin really bothers me. I know that the likeness of the character is owned by Lucasfilm, and legally they cold do it, blah blah blah. But I find it really disrespectful to Peter Cushing and I don't like the door it has opened. I also found the effect really jarring.

- Lets talk about the Vader scene at the end, shall we? Nerds went berserk when they saw this. Nerds still go berserk about it now. But personally I think it was thrown in there to end the film on a crescendo to make people forget how boring the first half of the film was. I also think its incongruous with Vader's character. We've never seen him go full out like this before, even when fighting Luke. Is he really going to turn into mega-fighter for a few rebels who are already trapped in a room? No, he's just gonna send his storm troopers in to do the job. This felt like pandering to fans taken to the highest degree.

Current Re-ranking List

1. Empire Strikes Back
2. Return of the Jedi
3. The Last Jedi
4. The Force Awakens
5. Revenge of the Sith
6. The Phantom Menace
7. Rogue One
8. Attack of the Clones
9. The Rise of Skywalker

Current Dismemberment Tally: 14

I think so yes.  Which clearly worked for a lot of people.