The Neverending Top Ten Thread

1993

BEST MOVIE: SCHINDLER'S LIST



This one is a no-brainer, unless you were too busy making out with your date to watch the film. People like to say that Steven Spielberg became an adult for this movie, but let's keep in mind that The Color Purple and Empire of the Sun were grown-up films too. But I guess the difference here is that this is personal for him. He got raw and real for it. Schindler's List is the ultimate holocaust movie because Spielberg never holds back. This is the closest we'll ever get to travel back in time and witness this tragedy. For historical purposes, Schindler's List is a must-watch.

FAVORITE FILM(S): WHAT'S EATING GILBERT GRAPE / BENNY & JOON (TIE)

Double the Johnny Depp fun.

GILBERT GRAPE



Johnny Depp is mostly known for playing oddballs in quirky movies, but Gilbert Grape tries to stay grounded while still allowing Depp some room to be eccentric. The film takes place in a boring small town where Depp's mother is so fat she is practically handicapped. That forces him to be in charge of the household and a parent to his younger siblings - including his mentally disabled brother, played beautifully by Leonard DiCaprio in an Oscar-Nominated performance. He lost to Tommy Lee Jones, probably cause he went full retard. Anyway, the film is heart-breaking because Depp loves his family and will do everything he can to help them, but he is young and wants to create a life of his own. Anyone who has ever been in a similar situation can relate very strongly to this movie.

BENNY & JOON



This is arguably one of the greatest romantic comedies ever made. It's the only love story you'll ever see where the two leads are suffering from mental illnesses. I don't know why Johnny Depp was obsessed with mentally handicapped people in 1993, but it resulted in two great movies. So, my hat's off to him.

HONORABLE MENTION: HOMEWARD BOUND: THE INCREDIBLE JOURNEY



If you are a pet owner, there is something about this movie that just hits you in the right spot. For starters, I would hate the idea of giving up my pets. But also, there's something really cool about your pets loving YOU so much that they'll go through incredible lengths to return home. Growing up, this was definitely one of my favorite movies.

1994

NOTE: I haven't watched the Shawshank Redemption since the `90s. So, I apologize for not naming it the best. Then again, the fact that I haven't bothered to re-watch it perhaps means that I didn't like it as much as most people do.

BEST MOVIE: THREESOME



College is the time when most people decide to experiment. Free from the rule of their parents they venture off into uncharted waters. Threesome explores the sexual side of things with three roomates who can't decide if they're straight, gay, or bi-sexual. Or if they even like each other. I know this sounds silly and borderline pornographic, but trust me, it isn't. It's actually a very sweet film, that's grounded and relatable, and features the best chemistry between three actors that I can think of.

FAVORITE FILM(S): THE YEAR OF JIM CARREY



I can't think of another actor who had a better breakthrough year. In fact, 1994 was so successful for Jim Carrey that I don't think he ever lived up to it. Ace Ventura is really stupid, but to quote Doomsday, "it's hilarious when you're 13." The Mask is fantastic. There was no better comedic vehicle for the man with the rubber face. And, Dumb & Dumber is considered by almost everyone as one of the 10 greatest comedies ever made. Jim Carrey should have gotten a Special Oscar for pulling off such a remarkable year.

1995

BEST AND FAVORITE MOVIE: THE USUAL SUSPECTS



The Usual Suspects is a great action-thriller that gets better each time you watch it. The beauty of this film is that despite its "twist ending" you're never quite sure of the facts. It's one of those RARE movies where the filmmaker allows the audience to come up with their own conclusions and then debate it among each other.

1996

BEST MOVIE: FARGO



Minnesota is known for it's kind people, so leave it up to the Coen Bros to screw with their reputation. I wouldn't be surprised if Dracula has a personal vendetta against it. LOL. But seriously, this is a great examination of human nature through a comedic point-of-view. No wonder the U.S. Government preserved this movie as soon as it became eligible for their program. This is something for future generations to examine in their philosphy courses.

FAVORITE FILM: MARS ATTACKS!



If you think the Coen Bros have a messed up sense of humor, then you're gonna be really shocked with Tim Burton. In almost every invasion movie, the aliens are ruthless and violent. Here, they are having a great time. This is a walk in the park for them. If you look at it from an intellectual POV, this is quite disturbing. I'm sure Tim Burton is the type of guy who thinks rape jokes are hilarious.

Personally feel the matrix is overrated. Only reason it was known was not by performances or a script that seemed like the writers were on acid. Matrix had ground breaking effects is all. The sequels proved its not a movie you can make a trilogy with and not feel like your brain is empty when done watching it

Good stuff. Funny how many of these I haven't seen.

MovieBuff, Doomsday and I also did one for the 2000's. I'll dig it up later if the forums haven't been shut down. 

I am serious Matrix sequels made no since and Reloaded made my head numb.

For the past 27 years, Tim Burton has been one of the more fascinating filmmakers in Hollywood. Despite all odds, he has managed to walk a fine line between mainstream success and a cult/niche following. He's everything Terry Gilliam isn't. So, in honor of this weekend's release of his latest movie, Dark Shadows, I figured it was time to do this list. And on a side note, another Burton-directed film is scheduled for this year, the October release of Frankenweenie. It's a stop-motion adaptation of his 1984 short film. He's also the producer of Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter. So, 2012 is a busy year for him.

#16 - CORPSE BRIDE (2005)



Corpse Bride was Tim Burton's first stop-motion feature since James and the Giant Peach. And it would be his first directorial effort for the genre/format since his classic 1982 short film Vincent. So, as you can imagine, there was a lot of excitement among his fans. But the movie was a bit of a disappointment. It isn't a bad film, per say, it's just lacking the energy and spirit of Nightmare Before Christmas. Corpse Bride is stiff and life-less. Which might have been the purpose since it had a Victorian setting and dealt with the after-life, but it leaves a bad taste in the audience's mouth nonetheless. Maybe this was just the wrong project for Burton to make his return to stop-motion.

#15 - SWEENEY TODD (2007)



Sweeney Todd is great bait for Burton haters. It showcases everything that's wrong with his recent films. I love Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter, but he REALLY needs to stop working with them. They're not right for every project. If this were a non-musical, the casting choices would have been perfectly fine. But it is a musical and it requires actors who can sing. Depp and Carter are terrible singers and the supporting cast, except Alan Rickman who sucks too, completely wiped the floor with them. A movie cannot work if the lead actors are horribly mis-cast and getting over-shadowed by Borat's 5 minutes of screen time.

#14 - DARK SHADOWS (2012)



Dark Shadows is a fun gothic horror film with a few comedy set-pieces. It works for what it's setting out to be, but it's still an incredibly flawed movie. For example, some of the comedic scenes could have been eliminated. I mean, we don't really need Johnny Depp's 18th century vampire hanging out with 1970's hippies. And, as I complained in the review thread, the supporting cast was not given time to develop and shine. Which, I'm afraid, sort of ruins the climactic ending when some of the "family secrets" are revealed. With a stronger script, this could have been a GREAT movie. Instead, it settles for "good."

13. ALICE IN WONDERLAND (2010)



Tim Burton's billion dollar hit and Oscar-winner got lots of backlash on the Internet. Most of it was over silly things like Johnny Depp dancing for 10 seconds. But to me, and to most people who saw it, it wasn't THAT bad. The sets, costumes, make-up, and visual effects were top-notch. Sure, the script could have used some work and Mia Whats-Her-Face was a little stiff and proper, but... I was entertained and the flaws didn't bother me too much. Plus, I really love Danny Elfman's score.

12. PLANET OF THE APES (2001)



I really hated Burton's "re-imagining" of Planet of the Apes when it was released. But, 12 years later, it has really grown on me. For starters, this film is the complete opposite of his recent efforts. By that I mean that he actually left his comfort zone. This is arguably his most conventional movie. At the time, that's why I hated it. I felt like he sold out. But considering all the half-assed films he has made since 2005, Planet of the Apes actually stands out now. He may have sold out, but at least he tried to do something different. PLUS, like Alice in Wonderland, the technical stuff is very impressive. No one can deny that Rick Baker's make-up work is fantastic and WAY better than the original film and series. AND we cannot over-look the amazing performances. Tim Roth, in particular, was brilliant. When it's all said and done, the only real flaws are the script and Marky Mark.

11. SLEEPY HOLLOW (1999)



Not to sound like Doomsday, but Sleepy Hollow is like the perfect horror movie for a 13-year-old. It turns a simple camp fire story into a borderline action tale with lots of violence, gore, and women's cleavage. As much as I enjoy Sleepy Hollow, I cannot over-look that it's f---ing ridiculous. Although, to be fair, I guess the film illustrates Burton's talent. With a lesser filmmaker this would have been straight-to-video or Made-for-TV. But, Burton turns it into a really good, almost great, motion picture. Kudos also has to be given to Johnny Depp. This was back when he was still a Hollywood rebel. So, we get one of his classic and uncoventional performances. In a way, Sleepy Hollow signals the end of an era. Only a few years later, Johnny Depp stars in Pirates of the Caribbean and Tim Burton stops giving a s--t.

#5 - BATMAN RETURNS (1992)



Batman Returns is a great psychological profile of Batman, his world, and the characters that inhabit it. Sadly, most people tend to dismiss the film for two reasons. For fans, this is a very unfaithful adaptation. Although... Burton says so much about Batman that in a way it is the most faithful adaptation. And for the general public, it's probably a tad too weird for them. But whatever, to each his own, I guess. As I've said before, I'm very tired of defending this movie.

#4 - BEETLEJUICE (1988)



Many films have been made about the after-life, but none of them have been as creative and inventive like Beetlejuice. With Beetlejuice, Tim Burton got the opportunity to fully showcase his signature style but also combine it with great comedy and an iconic performance by Michael Keaton. At the beginning of this thread, I mentioned how Burton walks a fine line between mainstream success and niche/cult following. And, Beetlejuice is a prime example of that. The general public embraced this quirky film to the point that it became a successful franchise spawning merchandise, a cartoon series, and a theme park attraction at Universal Studios.

#3 - PEE WEE'S BIG ADVENTURE (1985)



TELL EM' LARGE MARGE SENT YA!

Pee-Wee's Big Adventure is one of my all-time favorite comedies. It's the strange tale of a man-child in search of his bike. Credit has to be given to Burton for hitting a home run with his feature film debut. Very few filmmakers manage to pull that off. But even more impressive is that the movie's creative team is made up almost entirely of Hollywood outsiders. Paul Reuben's infamous character was just a cult stage show at the time. SNL Legend Phil Hartman wrote the script. And, Oingo Boingo frontman Danny Elfman did the score. I don't know why Warner Bros took such a risk with this project but, man, it really paid off. Plus, I think this oddball of talent is why the film works so well. They provided a very unique point-of-view and a very different style of comedy. In a way, it opened the door for Sam Raimi, the Coen Bros, and Edgar Wright to name a few. It spawned a genre of weird, visually-driven comedies.

#2 - BATMAN (1989)



This film turned me into a Tim Burton fan... and a Batman fan as well. Two things I'm still very much a fan of. So, to say it has a special place for me is an understatement. Also, since I wasn't around for the initial Star Wars and Indiana Jones films, this was the first hyped blockbuster I got to experience. You think the Avengers is a big hit? You should have been around in 1989. I don't think even the Dark Knight can compete with the Batmania of 1989. So, I experienced a lot of firsts with this movie. It took a lot of my, um, moviegoing virginity. So... maybe I've never been very objective when it comes to Batman. I know it has its critics. And some of the complains are valid. But, to me, it's still a great movie and I love it.

#1 - EDWARD SCISSORHANDS (1990)



Edward Scissorhands is Tim Burton's masterpiece. I think most people will agree with that opinion. It is his ultimate statement about the outsider - a common theme in his work. Also, the film is fairly autobiographical. It's almost a borderline satire of his upbringing in Burbank, California. And, I think the movie's core being inspired by something real makes it very relatable. We're watching a modern day fairy tale with this - creature - that was created by a mad scientist but he feels and comes across as very human. And his experiences are very human. So, no matter how strange the film gets, there's always an emotional involvement and attachment to it. As outlandish as the visuals can get, the story and the characters remain very grounded. You know... going back to Big Fish, this movie is very Big Fish in the sense that there's a lot of truths hidden behind all the bull s--t. It tells a normal, everyday story in a very entertaining way.

In honor of Father's Day. . .


#10 - CARL WINSLOW from FAMILY MATTERS




After a long day of dealing with John McClane, Officer Carl Winslow arrives home to deal with his annoying neighbor Steve Urkel. How does he fight the will power to blow his head off? Maybe it's because he loves his kids too much. Plus, he can't leave Laura alone with Urkel.

#9 - MICHAEL BLUTH from ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT



Michael Bluth is not only the parent of his son George Michael. He's the parent of his ENTIRE family. Where does a man find the time to take care of so many people? Especially when he's busy romancing a British spy.

#8 - HOMER SIMPSON from THE SIMPSONS



On the surface, Home Simpson may seem like a horrible father. He chokes his son for crying out loud. But what the citizens of Springfield don't see is him working two jobs and barely getting any sleep to buy his daughter a pony.

#7 - AL BUNDY from MARRIED WITH CHILDREN



Al Bundy hates his life - period. So, why hasn't he hanged himself yet? It's because he wants to guide his son Bud to become a real man. And he wants to make sure that his daughter Kelly remains a virgin.

#6 - DAN CONNER from ROSEANNE



When your mother is Roseanne Barr, it's good to have John Goodman around.

#5 - ARCHIE BUNKER from ALL IN THE FAMILY



Archie Bunker is always thinking of his kids. That's why he gets upset when Black people move into the neighborhood.

#4 - PHILIP BANKS from FRESH PRINCE OF BEL-AIR



It's bad enough that your kids are annoying, but now you have to take care of Will Smith as well?! Philip Banks is such a great father that other people make him take care of their kids. "Take me home to Bel-Air" is what the foster kids say.

#3 - TIM "THE TOOL MAN" TAYLOR from HOME IMPROVEMENT



When your dad is an idiot, it can provide hours and hours of entertainment. And when he's the star of his on TV show, it'll provide hours and hours of entertainment for your friends as well.

#2 - CLIFF HUXTABLE from THE COSBY SHOW



Doctor by day. Comedian by night. Dancer on the weekends. You can rely on Dr. Heathcliff Huxtable for all your needs.

#1 - RED FOREMAN from THAT `70s SHOW



There's no beating around the bush with Red Foreman. He'll set you straight. Which is what a father is supposed to do.

THE 10 BEST FULL HOUSE EPISODES
(by order of air date)

Kimmy aged horribly.

If you grew-up in the late `80s and 1990's, you watched Full House. It was a silly family-friendly sitcom about three guys raising children in San Francisco that spawned ABC's very popular TGIF line-up. In an era before the Internet, smartphones, and advanced video games, families actually watched TV together. And during that particular time-period, Full House was arguably the best show there was for that specific audience. So, in honor of it's 25th anniversary, here are my 10 favorite episodes ranked by the order in which they aired:


#10 - OUR VERY FIRST SHOW (9/22/1987)



Jeff Franklin created Full House. His screenplay for Three Men and a Baby, directed by Star Trek's Leonard Nimoy, was 1987's top-grossing film. I s--t you not, folks. So, it should come as a no surprise that he would create a TV series with a similar concept: Three men raising children. Although it is very amusing to note that the show's pilot is actually a lot more serious than the movie that inspired it. Here we are introduced to Danny Tanner (Bob Saget), a widow that seeks the help of his brother-in-law and best friend to help raise his children. These kids having a dead mother was the elephant in the room throughout the entire series, but with the pilot, they couldn't ignore it and addressed it head-on. It's also amusing to watch Uncle Jesse (John Stamos) and Joey (Dave Coulier) adjust to parenthood. There is a great set-piece involving them trying to change Michelle's diapers for the first time. Overall, it's a strong pilot and one can see why the series attracted a mass audience.


#9 - JUST ONE OF THE GUYS (3/4/1988)



Candance Cameron, who played DJ, the oldest daughter, is the sister of `80s teen heartthrob Kirk Cameron. And the producers wasted no time in getting him on the show. And, really, there's nothing else special about the episode other than his gust appearence. But, heck, it's Kirk Cameron in his pre-religious nut days, so it's a must-see episode.


#8 - THE SEVEN MONTH ITCH, PART II (3/18/1988)
Uncle Jesse is arguably the best character on the show. John Stamos brought charm and appeal to the role of a local rock musician who suddenly becomes the co-guardian of his dead sister's children. Throughout the first season he was a ticking time bomb because it was only a matter of time before his two lifestyles clashed with one another. In the first half of this two-parter, he finally gets fed up and abandons the family. But it is here where he has to come to terms with his decision and whether or not he's gonna return. It's a pretty heavy episode for what's generally a tongue-n-cheek program.


#7 - STAR SEARCH (11/3/1989)



As a kid, I thought Joey Gladstone was hilarious. As an adult, whose also a fan of stand-up comedy, I find him to be ridiculous. His entire act consists of doing cartoon voices. So, an entire episode consisting of Joey Gladstone doing stand-up on Star Search is like watching a trainwreck. And yet, the episode works. Why? Because I get the impression that the writers were secretly mocking Dave Coulier. In the episode, Joey's 10-year plan to become a successful stand-up is coming to an end. The entire future of his career will be determined by his appearence on Star Search... and he loses to Steve Oedekerk. I wonder if he got the hint.


#6 - SECRET ADMIRER (12/7/1990)



Rusty, a prankster that drove the characters crazy for a number of episodes, pulls his best hijink by writing an anonymous love letter that gets passed around and watching as everyone suspects one another. It's also fascinating to watch Full House pull-off a high-concept episode.

#5 - STEPHANIE GETS FRAMED (1/25/1991)



Crossovers were very common in the `80s and `90s. To the point that Seinfeld, Mad About You, and Friends take place in the same TV universe. Or a more extreme example would be Star Trek and Knight Rider. But one of the oddest crossovers is Full House and Family Matters. On the surface, it makes sense, but it was handled so randomly that it just comes across as very weird. Here's the plot of the episode: Stephanie gets glasses and is then teased about it as school. And so, Steve Urkel shows up to help her get through it. Could this premise have been any lazier and uninspired? An awesome idea could have been Carl Winslow in California visiting John McClane and then he bumps into the Tanner family. But to give the producers some credit, this is definitely one of the more memorable episodes.


#4 - THE WEDDING, PART 2 (2/15/1991)

This episode will always be remembered for John Stamos' EXCELLENT cover of The Beach Boys' Forever.






#3 - THE LEGEND OF RANGER JOE (10/22/1991)



Did someone say..... wood? Oh, Mr. Woodchuck. You have definitely earned your place in the hearts of an entire generation. Just like Kevin the Robot from Saved by the Bell.

#2 - THE LAST DANCE (2/8/1994)
Jesse's grandfather passes away and it's the first time Michelle is old enough to feel the emotional pain of losing a loved one. It's a very touching episode.

#1 - MAKING OUT IS HARD TO DO (10/11/94)



As the series got into its later years, and Uncle Jesse was softened from a Ripper to a Rush Hour Renegade, a new "edgy" character had to be introduced. That honor would go to Gia (Marla Sokoloff). She was a bad girl who befriended Stephanie in middle school and constantly got her into trouble. One of her shenanigans was tricking Stephanie into attending a make-out party, which is the subject of this episode. And I love how they handled the awkwardness of the situation.