The Box Office Thread

Doomsday is in the Stephen King phase of his career.

Doomsday SnoBorderZero PhantomKnight Dracula


Hunger Games opened at #1 with $44M. It stars the feminist Snow White, so I guess she ain’t box office poison just yet. Shazam 2 flopped but that didn’t rest on her shoulders.

Trolls, featuring the return of *NSYNC, opened at #2 with $30.6M. I hear PG Cooper bought out a whole theater to have his own personal concert.

The Marvels dropped 78% in its second week. It is currently tied in 3rd place with Eli Roth’s Thanksgiving. Both have reportedly grossed $10.2M. The Marvels total two-week gross is $65M. To put things into perspective, that’s still $2M shy of Black Adam’s opening weekend.

Next Goal Wins flopped. It opened in 7th place. It’s playing in 2,240 theaters.

Opening on Tuesday (hey — that’s in two days) are Disney’s Wish and Ridley Scott’s Napoleon.

Doomsday SnoBorderZero PhantomKnight PG Cooper Dracula IanTheCool


Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!!


Hunger Games — $42M ($98.3M)
Napoleon — $32.5M
Disney’s Wish — $31.7M
Trolls Band Together — $25.3M ($64.4M)
Thanksgiving — $11.1M ($24.1M)

frankyt still mad that Dune II didn’t come out.

Opening next weekend: RENAISSANCE: A FILM by BEYONCÉ, Silent Night and Godzilla Minus One.

As soon as Doomsday starts working for the Mouse, everything goes to shit.

variety.com/2023/film/box-office/disney-bleak-box-office-streak-wish-the-marvels-1235809251/

Disney’s Bleak Box Office Streak: Not a single Disney film has grossed $1 billion this year. It’s the first time since 2014 (not including the pandemic years of 2020 and 2021) that Disney hasn’t had a billion-dollar release. The studio had 7 films hit $1 billion in 2019

I mean, absolutely nothing from anyone has made a billion this year except for Barbie and Mario...

Renaissance: A Film By Beyonce is #1 with $21M. I guess Dracula can go on X (formerly Twitter) and say that Beyonce is no Taylor Swift.

Hunger Games continues to have legs at #2 with $14.5M ($121.2M). frankyt is secretly relieved that Dune got moved to March. Imagine losing to Hunger Games.

1godzillafan Minus One is #3 with $11M. PG Cooper has been asking for more foreign cinema, well, here ya go.

Trolls Band Together is #4 with $7.6M ($74.8M). We can thank Doomsday. The man watches Trolls every weekend.

Disney’s Wish is #5 with $7.4M ($41.9M).

IanTheCool asks, “hey — what happened to Napoleon and Thanksgiving and that John Woo Christmas movie?”

Great question, Ian. Great question.

Next weekend sees the release of SnoBorderZero’s highly anticipated Poor Things. If you happen to be in the same theater as him, keep your distance. 6 feet apart.

Boy and Heron is #1 with $12.8M. Hunger Games is #2 with $9.4M ($135.6M). Godzilla Minus One is #3 with $8.3M ($25.3M).

Next weekend: the movie event of the holidays. Wonka.

Willy Wonka Origins: The First Oompa Loompa opened to $39M. I blame Doomsday , of course. He obviously used his awards screener to create a pirated version for the Zoomers to watch.

The Tim Burton version from 2005, starring Johnny Depp, opened to $56M unadjusted for inflation. While Doomsday wraps his head around that, do you remember which other movie opened opposite Burton’s Wonka? Wedding Crashers. Remember Wedding Crashers? Remember going to see popular comedies in a crowded theater? Remember being young and caring for movies like Wedding Crashers? Remember Dracula being snobby even in 2005? Wedding Crashers opened to $33.9M. Again, unadjusted. Did anyone go watch Wonka this weekend? What is $39M in 2023?

Opening next weekend are a shit ton of movies. American Fiction, recently reviewed by Doomsday. He gave it an A-. High praise from a notorious racist. Anyone But You starring Sydney Sweeney and that guy from Top Gun: Maverick. thebtskink bought out a whole theater just to masturbate to. The Iron Claw, which PG Cooper will ignore. Migration. I don’t think SnoBorderZero has been inside a theater since Killers of the Flower Moon, but Migration will be the one to bring him back.

What else am I missing?

Sorry. You say something, IanTheCool?

Right. Aquaman!

That’s right, folks. The sequel to 2018’s Aquaman comes out next weekend.

It was the Zaslav that stole Christmas.

The top three movies in the country are from Warner Discovery.

The Color Purple, Aquaman and Wonka.

Dracula was rooting for Ferrari, Iron Claw and Poor Things but it wasn’t meant to be. Not even PG Cooper’s favorite new movie, Migration, was a match for the Zaslav. And now the Zaslav will go buy Paramount and swallow up SnoBorderZero in the process. The Zaslav comes for us all, sir.

That concludes 2023. IanTheCool will provide a eulogy later this week. But don’t shed too many tears, Doomsday. 2024 is coming with a vengeance. First movie will be Night Swim from Blumhouse Pictures.

This guy unironically used "sassy" to describe a movie. Lol.

2023 ended with Doomsday’s favorite movie, Wonka. 2024 has begun with PhantomKnight’s favorite movie, Mean Girls: The Musical.

Mean Girls: The Musical opened at #1 with $28M. The Beekeeper, starring Jason Statham, and from Amazon-MGM, one of two homes belonging to SnoBorderZero, opened at #2 with $16.7M. Wonka dropped to #3 with $8.3M ($176.1M).

Opening next weekend is, um, is there anything opening next weekend. Hold up, IanTheCool. Let me check. I.S.S.? Um, okay? I.S.S. is opening on Friday. Founder’s Day? Um, okay? Founder’s Day is also opening on Friday. What else? Is that it? IanTheCool, I think that’s it. I.S.S. and Founder’s Day. Listen. Just go watch Wonka and Mean Girls. You’ll make Doomsday and PhantomKnight very happy.