Neverending
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Post by Neverending on Oct 26, 2016 8:51:46 GMT -5
I used to own a purple tartan Might Ducks jacket
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SnoBorderZero
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Post by SnoBorderZero on Oct 26, 2016 10:05:00 GMT -5
Hahaha, I didn't realize Mighty Ducks was still a topic of discussion. Mighty Ducks 2 is better than Godfather III. Well of course.
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thebtskink
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It puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again.
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Post by thebtskink on Oct 26, 2016 13:37:44 GMT -5
MD2 ranks in the top tier of Joshua Jackson performances.
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Neverending
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Post by Neverending on Oct 26, 2016 21:19:50 GMT -5
MD2 ranks in the top tier of Joshua Jackson performances. Pretty sure the star of Mighty Ducks 2 is Kenan Thompson.
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Deexan
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Post by Deexan on Oct 27, 2016 7:08:45 GMT -5
I used to own a purple tartan Might Ducks jacket Nah it had a tartan pattern and the logo was small and located on one side of the chest.
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PG Cooper
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Post by PG Cooper on Nov 29, 2016 12:47:34 GMT -5
I fell behind again. Trying to catch-up again. Here's a list I posted on Halloween. Top Five Horror Sequels5. 28 Weeks LaterMaking a sequel to Danny Boyle’s well-regarded zombie movie 28 Days Later would not seem very intuitive given that film’s highly specific style and ending, but director Juan Carlos Fresnadillo’s follow-up proved more than worthy. The filmmaking on display is still sharp and the use of real film as opposed to digital is also a welcome change. The film opens like gangbusters with a really awesome chase sequence and the rest of the chaos which ensues is also well-rendered. The film also serves as a solid little analogy for the military mismanagement of the Iraq war. Great final shot too. 4. Evil Dead 2The Evil Dead is one of the most inspiring low-budget success stories in all of film and it also launched the career of one Sam Raimi. It is the sequel however that has perhaps become the more iconic film, most likely due to the film’s zany tone. While the original was more or less a straight-horror movie, this sequel is basically a wacky comedy wherein the protagonist Ash is attacked by all sorts of demons in a small cabin. This is a movie that features an extended set-piece where Ash wrestles with his possessed hand for several minutes and ultimately ends with said hand being severed and replaced with a chainsaw. Raimi is clearly having a lot of fun inventing zany set-pieces and the film is also a great showcase for the talents of leading man Bruce Campbell. I don’t love this like a lot of the hardcore fans do, but Evil Dead 2 is certainly a fun ride with a lot of memorable moments. 3. The Devil’s RejectsThe Devil’s Rejects has the distinction of being the only film in this list that is inarguably superior to the original film. I don’t hate House of 1000 Corpses, but that film is a mess which crumbles under its own style. The Devil’s Rejects hits a much better balance of 70s kitsch style with genuine characters and story. The serial killers at the center of this film aren’t exactly realistic, but they’re well-defined, horrific, and bizarrely funny. While the film does depict a lot of graphic violence, the torture porn label it tends to carry is not exactly fair. Rob Zombie is interested in more than just grossing out an audience, but also creates interesting people and makes some efforts to play with audience sympathies. Zombie also grew a lot as a filmmaker between Corpses and Rejects. This has a much more polished look, the set-pieces are more memorable, the performances are better, and the soundtrack is also a lot smarter. It’s not a film for everybody (there’s some pretty grizzly content here), but for those who can appreciate this type of perverse filmmaking, The Devil’s Rejects is a treat. 2. Dawn of the DeadWith Night of the Living Dead, George Romero created a new iconic horror villain (the zombies) and also created an unprecedented horror experience. In making his follow-up, Romero decided to go bigger. The locations are more dynamic than in Night, the deaths gorier, the set-pieces more numerous and complicated, there are a lot more zombies, and of course, the whole thing is in colour. It’s great to see a bigger vision of a zombie apocalypse and Romero finds a lot of fun ways to depict all of this, but the film also explores new ideas too. Much has been written about how the zombies in the mall reflect real shoppers and endless consumption, but there is another layer regarding the ways in which human beings will accept horrid conditions provided their own comforts are not taken away. While our main cast is initially horrified by what has become of the world, they slowly start to become complacent in the middle as they have their fun in the mall. As far as sheer horror experiences go, Night of the Living Dead is probably superior, but Dawn of the Dead still excels thanks to its energy, creativity, and social commentary. 1. Bride of FrankensteinI struggled for a long time between Bride of Frankenstein and Dawn of the Dead for the top spot. What ultimately gave the former the edge is that while Dawn of the Dead is technically a sequel, there are no returning characters or even locations from Night of the Living Dead. Bride of Frankenstein, on the other hand, is a direct continuation of Frankenstein. The film draws more content from Mary Shelley’s novel and continues to explore the work’s major themes. In particular, the price of Frankenstein’s ambitions, the depths of man’s inhumanity to The Monster, and what it means to be alive. We see Frankenstein continually plagued by his obsessions, while The Monster remains a victim of hatred and prejudice. The parallels between the two resonate and it’s especially rewarding to see the two forced back together in the third act. Colin Clive’s Frankenstein is a bit more sympathetic this time around and Boris Karloff excels as The Monster. He actually gets to speak in this entry and it brings greater opportunity for emotional resonance. The scenes between The Monster and the blind man are particularly emotional. James Whale returns as the director and brings the same level of craftsmanship that made the original Frankenstein so atmospheric. The film has the classic foggy sets, tombs, and graveyards which define Universal Monster movies, but Whale also goes beyond those films and really brings a sense of production to the work. Whale also knows how to craft compelling horror set-pieces. Whether it be The Monster creepily emerging from the waters in the opening to his torture at the hands of townsfolk, it’s all highly compelling. It is the climactic creation scene however that stands out as the film’s most exciting moment. Bride of Frankenstein is amazing, perfectly able to function as an atmospheric horror film with fun set-pieces, while also providing genuine substance and an emotional story.
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PG Cooper
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Post by PG Cooper on Jan 2, 2017 12:23:01 GMT -5
Coming off a very strong year for animated movies, I've put together this list of the top ten best animated films of all time. Generally speaking, I’m limiting this list to only one film per director/studio, but I’m making an exception in the case of Studio Ghibli. Simply put, the filmmakers working under Ghibli have distinct enough auteurial styles that it would be unfair for to lump all of these directors under one label. Top Ten Animated Films10. PersepolisOf all the films in this list, Persepolis is easily the one I’ve gone the longest without seeing. None the less, I still felt like it needed to be included as its one of the boldest examples of a work of animation made for adults. The fact that the film depicts a fascinating portion of Iran’s history which doesn’t get much representation in cinema alone gives the film a big edge and it also tells a young woman’s compelling coming of age story quite well. The film’s animation has a deliberately two-dimensional look which is interesting and the use of black and white is really striking. On a rewatch, this film might well climb a lot higher. 9. A Scanner DarklyRichard Linklater is not a director you’d usually associate with science-fiction, but his adaptation of Philip K. Dick’s A Scanner Darkly turned out to be one of the more interesting sci-fi films of the 2000s. The film’s use of rotoscoping certainly gives it a unique look, but what really stands out with A Scanner Darkly is the film’s observations of surveillance societies. This isn’t a world defined by the overt oppression and tyranny these sort of dystopias typically depict. Rather, the film sees a society wherein surveillance is a lot more insidious and it’s only at the end when one realizes their freedoms have been stripped. A Scanner Darkly was highly relevant in the aftermath of the Patriot Act and it remains a key text in a post-Snowden world. 8. Heavy MetalIf there’s one film in this list whose placement is highly questionable, it’s this one. Heavy Metal is certainly a very schlocky movie and it’s also fairly sexist. I wouldn’t really argue with anyone who claims it has no business being placed ahead of weightier affair like Persepolis and A Scanner Darkly. All that said, I can’t deny that I think Heavy Metal is a total blast. The animation is very stylish and cool. There’s a lot of creativity to a lot of the sci-fi/fantasy worlds on display and the action scenes, while simplistic, work pretty well. The film also has some fun stories, a cool voice cast, and a pretty good sense of humour. Also, while the soundtrack is more classic rock than full on Metal, there’s definitely some great tracks from the likes of Blue Oyster Cult, Riggs, Sammy Hagar, Grand Funk Railroad, Nazareth, and the legendary Black Sabbath. Sabbath in particularly steal the show. Put simply, I can’t help but love a film which features a bunch of nomads who are mutated by toxic waste and lay siege to a city all set to “E5150/Mob Rules”. Awesome stuff. 7. Watership Down“Animated movie about talking rabbits” conjures up certain images, but Watership Down is way more respectable and dignified than you’d expect. The cast of British character actors, led by the awesome John Hurt, certainly helps, but more than anything the film really takes itself seriously. At its core, this is a survival story about a group traversing through a dangerous environment and seeking a new home. There’s a real weight to this journey and the conflicts with others are more violent and graphic than you’d expect. A big part of this is the animation style, which is detailed and also does a great job conveying danger. The film also has a fairly interesting mythology and spiritual aspect. The film on the whole is a gem and I hope with the recent Criterion release more audiences discover its charms. 6. FantasiaDisney has a wide catalogue of titles to choose from but I never had any doubt Fantasia would be representing the juggernaut here. Classic Disney animation is certainly beautiful and Fantasia allows it to be appreciated without the distractions of comic sidekicks or simplistic morals. Instead, Fantasia offers a collection of creative shorts which feature some stellar animation and are set to some amazing classical music. There’s also all sorts of variety in these various shorts. The Nutcracker Suite is an artistic expression of changing seasons, Rite of Spring is a history of evolution on Earth, The Pastoral Symphony is Greek myth, etc. The highlight is the climax; Night on Bald Mountain, which involves a demon unleashing all sorts of evil in a German expressionist inspired setting. 5. WALL-EUnlike Disney, I had a harder time making my Pixar selection. The Toy Story movies mean a lot to me and The Incredibles is all kinds of awesome, but ultimately I settled on WALL-E, which is most certainly Pixar’s most daring and ambitious film. The very notion of a near $200 million family movie about excessive consumption and the near destruction of the human race is insanely bold and the fact that Pixar turned that into a $500 million smash hit that also received heaps of critical praise speaks a lot to the studio’s prowess. But there are other courageous choices here too, like the fact that the first 45 minutes of the film are completely devoid of dialogue. Beyond that, the film’s core themes are well-realized and its depiction of a barren Earth are pretty incredible. 4. Waltz with BashirThe fact that Waltz with Bashir is an Israeli animated pseudo-documentary alone makes the film a unique artifact, but this is a lot more than just a novel curiosity. Rather, Waltz with Bashir is a fascinating exploration of identity and the consequences of war. The fact that the central war is the Lebanon War of 1982 also adds a lot to the proceedings as it’s a conflict that’s rarely been depicted on film. The animation is also really stylish and there are some strikingly surreal sequences which really stand out. All told the film is one of the most unique and powerful animated films you’ll ever see. 3. Princess MononokePerhaps the biggest struggle I had when putting this list together was which Hayao Miyazaki film to include. Ultimately, it came to My Neighbor Totoro or Princess Mononoke. I love the former. It’s a wonderful movie which takes a story with virtually no conflict and turns it into a gripping cinematic experience through creativity and passion. However I decided to give the edge to Princess Mononoke, which is an amazing fantasy epic that delivers on everything you want from that genre. Badass heroes? Check. Exciting set-pieces? Check. Terrifying monsters? Check. Rousing music? Check. Visual creativity? Triple check. However I think what puts Princess Mononoke over the top is how smart and nuanced it is. The characters have a lot of layers, even the villains are sympathetic. The film also makes some very smart points about the environment and industrialism, and does so in a way which is a lot less preachy than one might expect. The film as a whole is a towering achievement and a great summation of all the things that makes Miyazaki’s films so great. 2. AkiraFor a lot of people Akira served as a gateway drug to anime and it played a similar role for me. I had certainly seen a few anime shows when I was a little kid, but this was my first exposure to Japanese animation that was unambiguously for adults and I was completely blown away. The film presents a staggering vision of a future Japan with some really amazing animation. The third act in particular turns into visual mayhem which is all kinds of inspiring. The action scenes here are also transcendently awesome. Animation opens up all sorts of possibilities for creative action, but few films take advantage of this quite like Akira. We get giant lasers, machine gun battles, chases, and amazing uses of telekinetic powers. It’s an amazing blend of more traditional action with more surreal sci-fi violence and it’s very visceral. The plot itself is a really fascinating dive into government conspiracy and some really ambitious science-fiction. It’s a lot to take in and I don’t totally “get” everything, but it’s an absorbing ride all the same and an experience I’m always happy to take again. 1. Grave of the FirefliesAnimation is a license to do anything and that’s why the restraint Isao Takahata employs with Grave of the Fireflies is so striking. The film is set in Japan during the final stretch of World War II, but the visuals do not turn the devastation of war into spectacle. Rather, Takahata depicts the firebombings as horrific, but matter of fact. This is a crucial choice because while the war is important, Grave of the Fireflies is ultimately about a teenage boy and his younger sister simply trying to survive. The relationship between the two is where the heart of the film lies. The love between the pair feels very real, making the moments of joy all the more inspiring, and the moments of sorrow all the more painful. Indeed, Grave of the Fireflies has developed a reputation for being one of the most heart-wrenching movies you’ll ever see and with good reason. The suffering in the film is substantial, but there is also hope. Much of this hope stems from the warmth of the protagonists, but the film also suggests life beyond the horrors of war. The film can also be deconstructed regarding what it says about Japan circle World War II and that is crucial, but what makes Grave of the Fireflies so powerful is the love between the main characters. The film on the whole is one of the most moving I’ve ever seen, animated or otherwise.
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Neverending
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Post by Neverending on Jan 2, 2017 15:04:14 GMT -5
No reason to start 2017 with Cooper's comedy hating, so I'm lightening the mood:
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PG Cooper
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Post by PG Cooper on Jan 2, 2017 18:42:54 GMT -5
No reason to start 2017 with Cooper's comedy hating, so I'm lightening the mood: What animated comedies should I have included?
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PhantomKnight
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Post by PhantomKnight on Jan 2, 2017 19:08:06 GMT -5
This is a solid list, but I definitely would have approached it differently.
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PG Cooper
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Post by PG Cooper on Jan 3, 2017 11:00:40 GMT -5
A list I put together for Noirvember Top Five Film Noirs5. Touch of EvilMuch of noir is dedicated to creating a world which feels bleak and hopeless. I can’t think of any noir that nails this quite like Orson Welles’ Touch of Evil. This isn’t just a world without hope, it’s a full on nightmare where seemingly every goodness in the world is compromised. The film pushes the twisted angles and dark shadows of noir to the extreme and the characters are often bitter and hateful. This is most emphasized in Welles’ Police Captain Quiplan, a hardened bastard who has been made bitter after years of living in a dangerous place. That might sound like clichéd material, but Welles presents the material in such a way that it feels fresh while also being very personal in a sense. 4. Sunset BoulevardSunset Boulevard is interesting in the way it totally embraces certain noir aspects while also not feeling like a traditional noir. The film has the witty narration, stylized visuals, cynical worldview, a weak man, and a femme fatale. There’s are all checks in the Film Noir playbook but the particulars of the story turn Sunset Boulevard into something else. The fact that the film is an exploration of Hollywood culture and is something of a meta work, but more than anything it’s the Norma Desmond character that really shakes things up. She certainly is a dangerous woman, but she’s a lot more theatrical and grandiose than comparative femme fatales in the genre. She’s a fascinating villain, both hilarious and also highly threatening. All told, the film is maybe a bit too off-beat from the typical noirs to be considered the ultimate example of the genre, but the film is a masterpiece all the same and has enough noir elements to be among the genre’s best. 3. The Maltese FalconIs The Maltese Falcon the granddaddy of Film Noir? Possibly. I’m sure an argument could be made for some earlier films (there were even other adaptations of Dashiell Hammett’s novel) but for all intents and purposes this is the beginning of Film Noir. Humphrey Bogart’s Sam Spade is the ultimate Noir protagonist; a hard-boiled detective with a cynical edge who none the less tries to seek justice. It’s the role that made Bogart a star and while I’d argue he’d go on to better performances, this is probably the one he’ll be remembered for. The supporting cast is also great. Mary Astor, Sydney Greenstreet, Elisha Cook Jr., and the always awesome Peter Lorre make for a really strong collection of characters. The plot presents a fun mystery full of intrigue and implausible twists which builds to an appropriate ending. The film inhabits a world of deviance and betrayal which would set the tone for noirs moving forward. 2. The Third ManPart of what makes The Third Man such an amazing work is it applies the cynicism of noir to greater world issues. Made shortly after World War Two, The Third Man depicts a war torn Vienna and the people who carry the horrors of war in their minds. The fact that the hero Holly is an American writer of pulp westerns who can’t wrap his head around more complex moralities is a stroke of genius and the relationships between Holly, the villain Harry Lime, and Line’s girlfriend Anna are extremely interesting. Lime in particular is an amazing character and Orson Welles gives one of his best performances. The film is perhaps most famous for Carol Reed’s amazing visuals. Not only is war torn Vienna an extremely rich visual, but Reed further emphasizes this through his use of Dutch angles and masterful use of lighting. These elements are indeed awesome and are classic noir, but it’s the films complex moralities that are what truly propel The Third Man to masterpiece status. 1. Double IndemnityDouble Indemnity is probably not the best film on this list (that spot is probably reserved for either The Third Man or Sunset Boulevard), but in the realm of Film Noir, this is perfect. You’ve got themes of adultery, a murder scheme, a weak man, stylized lighting, snappy dialogue, and perhaps the greatest femme fatale of all time. Barbara Stanwyck’s Phyllis Dietrichson is a great character and Stanwyck plays the part perfectly. Also of note is Edward G. Robinson who has a great supporting performance and almost steals the show. The film is also an excellent exploration of flawed human beings. Much of the film deals with the planning of a murder, but it is the messy aftermath that is perhaps most interesting. It is here where the characters’ facades start to slip away and we see them for what they really are. The film culminates on an amazingly dark note which is the perfect conclusion for this kind of story.
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PG Cooper
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Post by PG Cooper on Jan 3, 2017 16:51:43 GMT -5
Now that I've caught up, time for some year-end lists. Top 20 Worst Non-2016 Films I Saw in 2016I realize these lists are a little self-indulgent, but fuck it, they're fun, and they give me an opportunity to talk about movies I otherwise wouldn't. 20. King’s Row (Watched February 16th)This story of small town melodrama is actually kind of amusing in how over the top it is (not to mention because Ronald Reagan has a lead role), but as a film it’s pretty dumb. This is an extremely basic movie with simplistic characters and morals. The corniness is further enhanced by director Sam Wood, who leans into schmaltz fully. Fairly watchable, but highly laughable. 19. Moulin Rouge (1952) (Watched April 26th)First off, no, the Baz Luhrmann film is not a remake of this John Huston effort. This is actually a biopic of artist Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec. It’s also a very boring movie. It’s abundantly clear that Lautrec is a jerk early on and the film does little else with him until the end. The movie looks pretty, but it doesn’t offer much else. 18. Robocop 2 (Watched January 26th)From what I can gather, Robocop 2 has its share of defenders. I can’t say I share their enthusiasm. Some of the satirical elements remain, but the film drops the ball on exploring Murphy’s humanity and burns through a series of half-baked ideas that never go anywhere. The action scenes are also subpar and on the whole, this is just a lame retread of Paul Verhoeven’s original film. 17. The Mummy’s Ghost (Watched October 12th)The second to last film in Universal’s Mummy series, The Mummy’s Ghost is a tired sigh from a franchise which is clearly out of gas. There’s nothing of substance here, we just watch the monster wander around killing people until the movie ends. The film does earn some major points for a darker and more ballsy ending, but that doesn’t make up for the lack of story and atmosphere. 16. The Mummy’s Tomb (Watched October 12th)Almost everything I wrote about The Mummy’s Ghost also applies to The Mummy’s Tomb. This film actually predates Ghost, but it almost seems more creatively bankrupt. Though the set-pieces are marginally better than what the later Mummy films would offer, this is still an uninspired movie about a dude in bandages killing people while offering nothing else. This is lacking the interesting ending that gave The Mummy’s Ghost an edge and it also wastes its first ten minutes on a fucking recap of The Mummy’s Hand, which is significant given the film’s only an hour. 15. The Front Page (1931) (Watched September 17th)An unfunny comedy marred by a lot of the problems that tend to plague early sound films (stiff performances, limited visual creativity, poor sound, general awkwardness). The film would eventually be remade into the incredible His Girl Friday in 1940 which made a lot of smart changes while also injecting a ton of wit and energy to the proceedings. That legacy certainly doesn’t do The Front Page any favours, but even without that shadow, The Front Page would still be quite lousy. 14. The Alamo (1960) (Watched August 14th)If you’re the kind of person who wants to come out of a three-hour historical epic knowing a little more about the real event, John Wayne’s The Alamo is not for you. This is a highly simplistic movie which lacks insight and instead just presents a series of vague speeches about freedom along with some perfunctory battle scenes. The fact that the film not just stars Wayne, but was also produced and directed by him, is also notable, particularly given that Wayne’s Davy Crocket is always right and loved by everyone. Yeah, Wayne had a bit of an ego. The climactic battle of the Alamo is a pretty good set-piece, but most everything else is completely forgettable. 13. Benny and Joon (Watched March 6th)Yes, Johnny Depp gives a fairly amusing performance, but basically everything else here is crap. At best, this is a formulaic and shallow story which goes nowhere. At worst, it’s an offensive portrayal of people with a mental disability as just being quirky souls who need someone to love. Either way you slice is, the writing is sloppy and the filmmaking tremendously uninspired. 12. Three Smart Girls (Watched May 4th)A simplistic musical comedy about a group of virtuous young girls trying to stop their naïve father’s marriage to a selfish gold digger and instead see their parents come back together. The lack of depth isn’t really a problem, but what is a problem is the lack of laughs or memorable music. The film doesn’t even have a sense of energy or fun. The result is a boring little slog that doesn’t offer much. 11. Shrek the Third (Watched November 13th)I haven’t been a fan of the Shrek movies since I was a kid, but even by the low-standards of that series Shrek the Third is a failure. This is the epitome of a cash-grab sequel. It doesn’t have any new ideas, few (if any) of the jokes hit, and the film just rushes through one dumb action scene to another. It’s abundantly clear that no one involved really had an interesting idea with what to do for a third Shrek movie but the producers smelled money so they plunged ahead anyway. The only people still earning their paychecks are the animators. To be concluded...
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Neverending
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Post by Neverending on Jan 3, 2017 19:20:47 GMT -5
How DARE you talk shit about Benny & Joon? That movie is amazing.
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Post by Dracula on Jan 3, 2017 19:22:28 GMT -5
How DARE you talk shit about Benny & Joon? That movie is amazing. I drew that movie in the very second round of the CS Film Club (RIP?)... gave it one and a half stars.
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SnoBorderZero
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Post by SnoBorderZero on Jan 3, 2017 19:27:13 GMT -5
Nice noir list Coop, tough to argue against those 5. Maybe next do a neo noir list?
It's weird, but I actually like The Big Sleep more than The Maltese Falcon. I've seen Maltese several times, and I always think it's really, really good, but that The Big Sleep, despite being a true oddity, is the greater Bogart noir.
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Post by Neverending on Jan 3, 2017 19:31:08 GMT -5
How DARE you talk shit about Benny & Joon? That movie is amazing. I drew that movie in the very second round of the CS Film Club (RIP?)... gave it one and a half stars. You're the Palpatine to Cooper's Anakin.
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PG Cooper
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Post by PG Cooper on Jan 3, 2017 21:54:45 GMT -5
Nice noir list Coop, tough to argue against those 5. Maybe next do a neo noir list? It's weird, but I actually like The Big Sleep more than The Maltese Falcon. I've seen Maltese several times, and I always think it's really, really good, but that The Big Sleep, despite being a true oddity, is the greater bBogart noir. I'd like to watch The Big Sleep again. Trying to piece together the story on a first time viewing drove me nuts.
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Post by SnoBorderZero on Jan 4, 2017 0:39:13 GMT -5
Yeah it makes no sense, but stylistically it's just one of the most gorgeously alluring films of the 40s. You don't understand what the hell is going on but you don't care because you're so swept up in it all.
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PG Cooper
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Post by PG Cooper on Jan 4, 2017 1:30:10 GMT -5
Yeah it makes no sense, but stylistically it's just one of the most gorgeously alluring films of the 40s. You don't understand what the hell is going on but you don't care because you're so swept up in it all. Yeah, I feel like knowing that going in will make for a better viewing experience. I definitely like the film, but I also think I can stand to get more out of it.
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Post by PG Cooper on Jan 8, 2017 18:35:38 GMT -5
Now in it's proper place... Part Two of my worst first time viewings list. 10. Enchanted (Watched November 5th)Anything interesting that could have been done with moving the traditional Disney princess into the real (live-action) world is squandered on a bunch of rom-com clichés, lame jokes, and TV movie production quality. The enormous charm of Amy Adams goes a long way in making Enchanted watchable, but she can’t save the film. 9. Champagne (Watched September 9th)I’ll be honest, I barely even remember this early Alfred Hitchcock film. I don’t think I can describe a single thing that happens in the story. I do remember being really bored and I also remember all the jokes falling flat. It’s worth noting that Hitchcock himself considered Champagne his worst film so I feel I’m in good company. In the film’s defense, though, there are a few interesting shots and that do occasionally raise interest. 8. Rich and Strange (Watched April 30th)Another early Hitchcock effort, this time one which came at the beginning of the sound era. The tension between silent and sound cinema is felt throughout as some sequences are totally silent and others have synchronized sound. The film is thus a weird mix of title cards and spoken dialogue, uneven performances, and scenes of visual freedom contrasted with immense visual constriction. It’s totally random which scenes are silent and which aren’t too. Beyond all that, this is a really dull cautionary tale that doesn’t work and the ending stretches on forever. Quite possibly Hitchcock’s worst film. 7. 101 Dalmatians (Watched November 5th)An unfunny movie for tiny children that I’m sure I’d have hated even as a tiny child. 6. Carousel (Watched September 8th)I’ve seen so many bloated musicals lacking in story from the Hollywood studio system that it takes a special something for one to stand out as being particularly bad. Some rapey vibes and excuse making of domestic abuse? Touché, Carousel. Musical fans might be able to look past these issues and the awful characters to appreciate the musical numbers, but I doubt it. There are better movies if you need a Rodgers and Hammerstein fix. 5. Finian’s Rainbow (Watched July 6th)You would hope that Fred Astaire’s final musical would be something special, or at least decent, but nope, Finian’s Rainbow is total crap. The main storyline involves a leprechaun searching for his pot of gold (seriously), but there’s also about 6000 subplots, including one about a white racist who is turned into a black man. This is a weird movie, but it’s also a boring one. And while there is a lot of singing and dancing, none of it is particularly good. The fact that just four years after directing Finian’s Rainbow Francis Ford Coppola would unleash The Godfather is fucking staggering. 4. Gigi (Watched April 3rd)This is the third bloated musical I’ve listed in a row and the last one that will be featured in this list. So, what gives Gigi the edge which makes it worse than Carousel or Finian’s Rainbow? Well, the fact that it’s a Best Picture winner certainly invites a greater amount of scrutiny, but more than anything are the film’s uncomfortable sexual politics. This is a film which opens with an old man in a park surrounded by children singing “Thank Heaven for Little Girls” and goes on to present a love story which starts between an adult man and a teenage girl. Is that why we should thank heaven for little girls? Because they grow up into hot women that men can fuck? That’s pretty damn gross, and if you think I’m making leaps, consider the lyrics, “Thank heaven for little girls/For little girls get bigger everyday” and, “They grow up in the most delightful ways”. Ugh. 3. Jaws 3D (Watched October 1st)I had at least hoped that Jaws 3D would be fun in how lame some of the 3D effects were, but for the most part the film is just boring. Much of the runtime is just centered around some boring SeaWorld employees (just because one has the last name Brody doesn’t mean he’s interesting) just hanging out at the park. When the film finally does deliver some shark action, the results are not nearly fun enough. The set-pieces are weak and there isn’t much in the way of a body count either. I mean shit, this is a movie about a shark loose in SeaWorld, that should at least be fun in a schlocky sort of way. 2. The Mummy’s Curse (Watched October 12th)The final film in Universal’s original Mummy series is terrible and overall the series has to be the worst of Universal’s Monster movies. This entry does absolutely nothing new with the formula. The Mummy Kharis murders people, then at the end he is defeated. There are no fun characters, interesting set-pieces, sense of atmosphere, or even cool kills. One last thing about these Mummy sequels: fuck the titles. Whether it be The Mummy’s Hand, Tomb, Ghost, or Curse, the actual title has no bearing on the film at all and they’re all interchangeable. 1. Jaws: The Revenge (Watched October 2nd)(On Jaws: The Revenge), “I have never seen it, but by all accounts, it is terrible. However, I have seen the house that it built, and it is terrific.” – Michael Caine, star of Jaws: The Revenge.
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Dracula
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Post by Dracula on Jan 8, 2017 18:55:22 GMT -5
When I lost access to TCM I certainly started to miss it, but I am kind of happy that it forced me to stop chasing down forgotten Oscar nominees like Three Smart Girls and whatnot. I learned a lot by watching some of those, but yeah, enough was enough.
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PG Cooper
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Post by PG Cooper on Jan 8, 2017 18:56:36 GMT -5
When I lost access to TCM I certainly started to miss it, but I am kind of happy that it forced me to stop chasing down forgotten Oscar nominees like Three Smart Girls and whatnot. I learned a lot by watching some of those, but yeah, enough was enough. I feel.
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Alien
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Post by Alien on Jan 8, 2017 19:03:31 GMT -5
I liked Enchanted. Isn't there a sequel coming soon too?
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PG Cooper
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Post by PG Cooper on Jan 8, 2017 19:09:36 GMT -5
I liked Enchanted. Isn't there a sequel coming soon too? This is, thus far, the only entry I've received flak for.
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Nilade
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Post by Nilade on Jan 9, 2017 3:19:58 GMT -5
Now that I've caught up, time for some year-end lists. Top 20 Worst Non-2016 Films I Saw in 2016I realize these lists are a little self-indulgent, but fuck it, they're fun, and they give me an opportunity to talk about movies I otherwise wouldn't. 18. Robocop 2 (Watched January 26th)From what I can gather, Robocop 2 has its share of defenders. I can’t say I share their enthusiasm. Some of the satirical elements remain, but the film drops the ball on exploring Murphy’s humanity and burns through a series of half-baked ideas that never go anywhere. The action scenes are also subpar and on the whole, this is just a lame retread of Paul Verhoeven’s original film. Same director as The Empire Strikes Back, Irvin Kershner.
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