PG Cooper
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Post by PG Cooper on Jan 5, 2015 15:29:17 GMT -5
Let's get the list train rolling, staring with... The Top 20 Worst Non-2014 Films I Watched in 201420. Shakespeare in Love (Watched November 11th) Truth be told, there are worse movies I could have put in this spot, but this one represents something important. Over the last few years, I’ve grown increasingly tired of the fluff Oscar bait films that usually are able to sneak a Best Picture nomination and sometimes a win due to being an “adult” film that is at the same time totally unchallenging and digestible by a wide audience. These are also the kind of films that get Oscar wins due in larger part due to excessive campaigning than by the film’s own merits. Shakespeare in Love is like the prototypical version of this kind of film. Not only is the film totally lacking in substance and completely unremarkable, but it actually is pretty inept in its own right. The central romance that film hangs all of its drama on is completely hollow and the melancholy ending the film attempts comes from out of nowhere. I also think the film shows a complete misunderstanding of Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet by only taking reference to the surface romance without acknowledging the more deep rooted tragedy. The costumes and sets are about the only thing I can say are genuinely good about this film without adding some sort of caveat. There are more aggressively bad films I saw this year than this, but Shakespeare in Love embodies a type of filmmaking I’m so tired of it had to be here. 19. Auntie Mame (Watched December 25th) This is one of the last films I saw all year and the last I saw to make this list. This is an extremely disjointed and unfunny comedy which looks at a series of misadventures undertaken by the title character after adopting her nephew. It’s a very strange film, with an obnoxious tone and generally seems to not understand basic human behaviour. It also runs almost two and half hours, which feels very long due to a lack of a strong narrative or any funny jokes. Anyway, the film is a jumbled mess, and despite Rosalind Russell throwing herself into the role, she can’t save the character from becoming grating. Auntie Mame is at least a memorable film, but not for admirable reasons. 18. Chariots of Fire (Watched May 12th) The Best Picture winning Chariots of Fire is best remembered for the Vangelis music and the running scenes. Those two elements are pretty good. The rest of the movie is a boring, boring slog that totally failed to hold my attention. It’s a stiff and lifeless film with boring characters and an unexciting pace. The film is not outrageously bad or anything, but, outside of the score and the racing scenes, is just tremendously dull. I’ve read many praise the film so I may give it another shot at some point, but at the same time the idea of having to sit through is not really something I wanna think about. |
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Doomsday
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Post by Doomsday on Jan 5, 2015 18:40:05 GMT -5
Ohh Shakespeare in Love. Everyone has to watch it at some point or another, kinda like getting your wisdom teeth pulled.
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PhantomKnight
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Post by PhantomKnight on Jan 5, 2015 18:53:44 GMT -5
I'll stand up for Shakespeare in Love. Am I upset it beat out Saving Private Ryan, my #1 Film of All-Time, for Best Picture? Duh, but I gotta admit it's still a witty and fun movie. In fact, I kind of love it.
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Dracula
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Post by Dracula on Jan 5, 2015 18:58:48 GMT -5
Yep, three very over-rated movies. Shakespeare in Love is forgettable, Chariots is boring, and Auntie Mame is just a really bizarre curio, almost like a musical that no one bothered to write any songs for.
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Post by Ramplate on Jan 5, 2015 19:14:19 GMT -5
I liked Chariots
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PG Cooper
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Post by PG Cooper on Jan 6, 2015 10:19:35 GMT -5
17. Seven Brides for Seven Brothers (Watched April 20th) Stanley Donen has never struck me as a great filmmaker, but his films are generally very entertaining and well-made, which is why it’s surprising he put out a misfire like Seven Brides for Seven Brothers in his prime. The film looks at a mountain man who takes a wife (after knowing each other for an afternoon) and how that inspires his brothers to go take wives too. It’s a very thin and stupid plot which becomes straight up disturbing when the brothers just invade a town and start kidnapping women to be their wives. Of course, these women fall in love with their captors, because it was the 50s and shit like that was quaint. Anyway, it’s a stupid and uncomfortable movie which is only somewhat redeemed by some inspired dance numbers. 16. The Spirit of St. Louis (Watched February 28th) I was excited as hell to discover Jimmy Stewart had made a film with Billy Wilder, especially in 1957, when Stewart was doing some of his most accomplished work and when Wilder was at his prime. Unfortunately, rather than making an energetic comedy or some dark drama together, the two collaborated in telling the very dull story of Charles Lindbergh’s nonstop flight from New York to Paris. The fact that Lindbergh genuinely accomplished such a feat is impressive, but that does not mean it makes for exciting cinema. All of Lindbergh’s obstacles are solved and overcome with the greatest of ease and there is little to no excitement to be found, despite the heavy special effects. The film tries to flesh out Lindbergh’s character with some flashbacks, but they ultimately don’t add anything to the film. Neither Wilder nor Stewarts work is terrible, per say, but the story they’re working with is entirely uninteresting. It’s a shame this forgettable mediocrity is the only thing they ever worked on together. 15. Blood Work (Watched February 9th) Clint Eastwood went through a period of making unambitious and relatively uninteresting crime thrillers in the late 90s and Blood Work is sort of the culmination of that thread. Eastwood stars as a detective who gets a heart transplant and returns to tracking down a serial killer who alluded him. Clint himself is pretty miscast in the lead too. I think the impression is that his character used to be a hot shot detective who loved the glory and thrill of his work, but that doesn’t really come through Eastwood’s grumpy, no nonsense demeanor. Outside of that, there really isn’t much to say about this one. It’s a predictable and uninspired film which is also pretty amateurishly made and lacks any excitement or suspense. The fact that this was made just a year before Eastwood’s brilliant Mystic River is fascinating.
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Dracula
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Post by Dracula on Jan 6, 2015 16:55:10 GMT -5
Seven Brides for Seven Brothers: rapey-est movie of the Hayes code era?
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Knerys
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Post by Knerys on Jan 6, 2015 17:44:17 GMT -5
Well it's technically based off a story that parodied the Roman rape of Sabine. Also exhibit one of why I dislike most musicals.
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Doomsday
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Post by Doomsday on Jan 6, 2015 17:59:40 GMT -5
My dad loves Seven Brides for Seven Brothers. Not on my list of things to watch though.
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Post by Neverending on Jan 6, 2015 19:49:33 GMT -5
Martin Scorsese is a fan as well and went through the trouble of restoring it.
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PG Cooper
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Post by PG Cooper on Jan 6, 2015 20:00:17 GMT -5
14. The Frighteners (Watched October 14th) Months before Peter Jackson disappointed mass audiences with his conclusion to The Hobbit trilogy, he disappointed me personally when I sought out this much loved 90s horror comedy. I’m a fan of what Jackson did with Braindead, but The Frighteners is just a mess. Jackson constantly throws cheap gags and excessive style at the audience hoping something will stick and things rarely do. The writing is also pretty lazy and the films attempts at legitimate horror are completely misguided. There are moments of enjoyment to be found in The Frighteners, but these moments are buried in a sea of unfunny jokes, lame looking ghosts, and unconvincing horror. I will say Michael J Fox’s lead performance goes a long way, but on the whole this is a juvenile and annoying film which is too flawed in too many areas to be saved by a few disparate positives. 13. Hello, Dolly! (Watched July 28th) This musical is set in New York of the early 1900s and looks at a matchmaker who’s ready for love. The primary problem with Hello, Dolly! is that the central romance is totally unbelievable. I don’t believe for a second that Barbara Streisand’s Dolly is in love with Walter Matthau’s Horace and given that’s damn near the only bit of plot this movie has, things begin to crumble quickly. Dolly seems more like a woman just interested in having a safe cash flow, whereas Matthau is totally miscast as his charming grump demeanor does not play in a lavish musical. Rounding out the cast is Michael Crawford who plays an irritating fuckwad I wanted to strangle. The musical numbers may be well produced, but even they aren’t very memorable or interesting. 12. Bad Lieutenant (Watched April 14th) This early 90s Abel Ferrara film is generally held in high regard by literate film critics as well as masters like Martin Scorsese, and I don’t understand why. Though this film has the pretensions and tone of something serious and artistic, I found this to be little more than perverse trash designed solely to shock and sicken its audience. Scenes like a nun being raped while juxtaposed with images of the crucifixion do not come off as poignant, but juvenile. Even the lead character is one dimensional, despite the small bits of nuance Harvey Keitel is able to squeeze out of the part. All told, I found this a sickening and painful viewing experience, which also managed to bore me in spite of its grotesque extremes.
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Post by Dracula on Jan 6, 2015 20:12:58 GMT -5
You lost me at Bad Lieutenant. It's obviously not a very fun movie and I don't blame you if didn't particularly like it and I wouldn't count it as one of my favorites either, but I do think it stays on the right side of distasteful and I don't think it wallows into exploitation the way you seem to think it does and I think it is sincere in its interest in catholic guilt and addiction.
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PG Cooper
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Post by PG Cooper on Jan 6, 2015 20:14:34 GMT -5
I figured I'd lose some people with that one, and it's among the few films on the list I might give another shot.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 6, 2015 20:34:04 GMT -5
Do it. Great movie; easily one of my favorites.
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PhantomKnight
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Post by PhantomKnight on Jan 6, 2015 20:37:27 GMT -5
it's among the few films on the list I might give another shot. Is that just you trying to cover your ass? 
Anyway, I hated The Frighteners as well.
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PG Cooper
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Post by PG Cooper on Jan 6, 2015 20:40:57 GMT -5
it's among the few films on the list I might give another shot. Is that just you trying to cover your ass?
Anyway, I hated The Frighteners as well.
Lol, no, I genuinely have considered giving it another shot and almost didn't include it on the list for that very reason. However when I really thought about my initial reaction and how strong my disgust was it felt right to include it still. I might like it more on a rewatch, but I also kind of doubt it. |
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Post by Deleted on Jan 6, 2015 20:43:46 GMT -5
If that disgusted you I'd hate to hear how you responded to something like Irréversible.
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PG Cooper
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Post by PG Cooper on Jan 6, 2015 20:50:57 GMT -5
It's not just the content, but also the reasoning for it. In the case of Bad Lieutenant, it seemed only designed as a means of shocking.
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PhantomKnight
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Post by PhantomKnight on Jan 6, 2015 20:53:53 GMT -5
Is that just you trying to cover your ass?
Anyway, I hated The Frighteners as well.
Lol, no, I genuinely have considered giving it another shot and almost didn't include it on the list for that very reason. However when I really thought about my initial reaction and how strong my disgust was it felt right to include it still. I might like it more on a rewatch, but I also kind of doubt it. That's OK, I sort of had a similar experience with the Kingdom of Heaven Director's Cut today. I definitely didn't hate it, but I'm still trying to decide what I DID feel. A re-watch will be beneficial in this case, too. |
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PG Cooper
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Post by PG Cooper on Jan 6, 2015 21:13:35 GMT -5
We'll debate that when I do my best of |
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Post by thebtskink on Jan 6, 2015 21:41:18 GMT -5
The Frighteners is great if you just take is a brainless popcorn flick. It's a step above that, but doesn't live up to what it tried to achieve.
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PhantomKnight
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Post by PhantomKnight on Jan 6, 2015 21:49:12 GMT -5
We'll debate that when I do my best of Did I say that I didn't like it? |
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Post by Doomsday on Jan 7, 2015 1:58:38 GMT -5
Your position on Bad Lieutenant is my view with Eraserhead. I didn't enjoy it, it's pretentious and I'm completely convinced that 95% of the people who 'like' it are the people who're afraid to have opinions that go against the grain. At the same time...I'm curious to see what I would think if I watched it again years and years from now.
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PG Cooper
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Post by PG Cooper on Jan 7, 2015 7:19:15 GMT -5
11. Star Trek V: The Final Frontier (Watched June 5th) The original six films in the Star Trek series with even the lesser entries still being pretty solid films. The Final Frontier is the exception to the pattern. Though there is the germ of a good idea cinematic exploration of pain and the role of God in the universe) this is a horribly misguided film which fails in almost every way. The writing is horrendously sloppy, the comedy is dumb, the direction lacks any sense of tension or urgency, and even the production value is subpar. Even the good ideas the film has are either totally squandered or end up lead up to empty battles. The film is also full of stupid scenes, like Uhura’s infamous “fan dance”, the sexual tension between Uhura and Scotty, and Kirk, Spock, and Bones’ campfire rendition of “Row Row Row Your Boat”. Because, you know, that’s what I want in a Star Trek film. This is unanimously considered the worst film of the Trek series, and rightfully so; it’s terrible. 10. Valhalla Rising (Watched March 23rd) I’ve defended Nicholas Winding Refn in the past, but this is one effort I really can’t get behind. While Valhalla Rising is a beautifully shot film, the whole effort is let down by a complete lack of story or character. Even Refn’s violent style falls short due to some horrendous looking CGI blood. Refn’s films have often been accused of being style over substance, but those efforts still worked for me due to engaging characters and plots (even if they were simple) and a masterfully well-executed style. Neither are the case here. There isn’t really much more to say. I found this film boring and dumb, and I hope my deeper Refn viewing proves more fruitful. 9. Around the World in Eighty Days (Watched February 17th) The third Best Picture winner on my list, Around the World in Eighty Days sees a rich British socialite (David Niven) wager he can travel around the globe in eighty days or under. You’d think the film would have a fun sense of adventure, but unfortunately that isn’t the case. Nothing interesting actually happens throughout the journey and any obstacles that arise are pretty easily solved and while the film’s production is clearly a big one, Michael Anderson doesn’t have the skill or ambition to really utilize this in interesting ways. A lot of money is clearly put in here, but none of the set-pieces are very interesting and while there is a parade of famous faces, no one actually adds any value to the work. I might have been less harsh, but at almost three hours, this thing tries my patience and I was relieved when this thing finally ended. Funny thing is the films ends on a genuinely neat title sequence from Saul Bass, but at that point I’m so exhausted that I barely care.
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Post by Dracula on Jan 7, 2015 7:37:42 GMT -5
Alright, Around the World in 80 Days' status as a Best Picture winner is obviously a joke, but I don't actually think it's a bad movie. It's a fun and colorful adaptation of a Jules Verne novel I've always been fond of and it has some neat little cameos and a handful of fun sequences.
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