Morbius — Review Thread

This movie currently has a 15% on RT.

We finally have a picture of you

Also some dipshit started clapping when it ended, echoing in dead silence from everyone else. I haven't witnessed anything that embarrassing since the same thing happened at Terminator Salvation.

The bar is a low one.

Throw in Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance and you have a deal.

Morbius(4/17/2022)
Like a sane person, I normally don’t go to see movies that I expect to be bad, but something about the word “Marvel” makes me do insane things… things like knowingly going to bad movies. It’s a sickness really. And it’s that sickness that made me take time out of my weekend to see the new film Morbius, which isn’t even produced by Marvel and is instead another example of Sony abusing their Spider-Man license like they did with the Venom movies. My expectations for this were subterranean and that maybe worked to the movie’s benefit because my overall response to the movie was more that it was middling to bad rather than terrible. In fact I probably liked it better than either of the Venom movies, but that’s not a very high bar. The film stars Jared Leto as the titular character, a vampire themed villain from the Spider-Man comics who became an unconventional bloodsucker by splicing his DNA with that of vampire bats in an attempt to cure an unnamed blood diseased he’s afflicted with. The science fiction here is quite nonsensical and the movie wildly misrepresents Vampire Bats as a species, which are in reality tiny little docile animals.

Like Venom this in many ways feels like a pre-MCU superhero movie from the 2000s, which isn’t an inherently horrible trait but does feel weird and out of place. Unlike Venom this is not about a particularly popular character from the comics but that’s not entirely a bad thing either, and as someone who is famously kind of interested in film vampirism I would say this appeals to me at least on a conceptual level more than that symbiont. I would also say that while I’m no fan of Jared Leto I do think his casting here does make sense, certainly more sense than Tom Hardy’s casting in Venom and some of the vampire effects inherent in the character are at least a little cool. However, make no mistake, this movie is dumb and it cuts a lot of corners. Questions like “why are they doing science on a tanker filled with trigger happy mercenaries” go unaddressed and most of the side characters are both underdeveloped and generally unlikable and the dynamic with the eventual villain mostly fell flat. And don’t get me started on the post-credit scenes, which don’t make a lick of sense. Still, there are worse superhero movies out there and some of the negative reviews out there for this thing strike me as being somewhat hyperbolic pile-ons.
** out of Five

They don’t want to compete with the Nick Cage movie.

That was certainly the best scene in the movie.