Re-Evaluating Bad Movies

Well once I sit down and give Bond a chance I will update here. Thanks for the suggestion fellow movie nerds.

I think I would prefer no comedy, well maybe a small dose here and there, in what I expect from a spy flick. I watched that gondola scene above and almost punched my tv out of anger.

You're only gonna like the Daniel Craig movies and MAYBE Licence to Kill. Watch those and ignore the rest. 

His first line in the movie is a joke, delivered while hanging upside down from a ventilation shaft in a toilet stall.  Calling it light camp is being generous. 

Might be more interested in the watching them if Damien Lewis is really the next Bond. Loved him in Band of Brothers.

RETURN OF THE MAGNIFICENT SEVEN (1966)



Unless you're Ramplate 's age, you probably didn't know that there was THREE sequels to The Magnificent Seven. So, SnoBorderZero , if you're upset about the Denzel Washington and Chris Pratt remake, maybe you should direct your anger elsewhere. The first sequel was written by Larry Cohen (The Stuff) and directed by Burt Kennedy (Suburban Commando) - I shit you not - but you shouldn't let that discourage you. Unlike the original, which had lots of charm and humor, this sequel takes itself very seriously. The only comic relief comes from Warren Oates as a sex crazed rascal. The rest of the movie focuses on Yul Brynner returning to one of his iconic roles and rescuing men from a slave labor camp. The plot works well and there's lots of good performances and action scenes. It was also made in Europe and has more of a spaghetti western feel than a traditional Hollywood western, which helps it set itself apart from the original. So if you ever get the opportunity, you should consider giving this movie a chance. It's not bad at all. The only real issue is that Yul Brynner is the only star in the movie, so he dominates most of the running time. This doesn't have an ensemble, which is what made the original Magnificent Seven a popular movie.

B+ says Doomsday

Lies! You probably saw them in theaters.

SnoBorderZero




THE LEGEND OF HERCULES (2014)



The Legend of Hercules is everything except a Hercules movie. We see the Greek hero wander through rip-off's of 300 and Gladiator and at no point does he end up in anything resembling the mythology he's famous for. No. Wait. He kills a lion in the beginning and we see his mother have sex with the wind. I guess that justifies the existence of this so-called Hercules movie. So if you wanna see awful CGI, hilariously over-the-top performances and no sign of any original ideas, then be my guest. The Legend of Hercules is clearly the movie for you.

D- says IanTheCool


HERCULES (2014)



For reasons that are difficult to understand, no one in Hollywood wants to make a traditional Hercules movie. All of them need some sort of a twist. In Brett Ratner's version, Hercules is a mercenary who pretends to be a demigod so he could frighten his enemies. There would be nothing wrong with that twist if it were used in a comedy, but this is a wannabe epic about Hercules being hired to lead armies and battle evil King's. It's an eye-rolling concept that needs to be rescued by Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson and his co-stars charming the audience in every scene. That's what makes the experience of watching this movie a mixed blessing. It's incredibly flawed but a lot of fun to watch. It also helps that Ratner toned down the CGI in favor of old-fashioned action scenes. So when you aren't being entertained by the cast, you're watching real-life stunts and effects. It's very refreshing in this current climate of blockbusters. And that's the best thing you can see about this version of Hercules. It's an alternate to every present day movie that looks and feels like a video game.

B

I haven't seen that movie since... middle school... and I fear the magic would be lost if I saw it now. I think AMC, back when it was a TCM wannabe, showed the two versions of the movie back-to-back. The one where Schwarzenegger is dubbed and the one where he isn't. That was quite the experience. 

I'm not sure what one I've seen, but I'm pretty sure it's not the dubbed version which I found more hilarious.  When he fights the bear in Central Park is just.... *sniff* it's just pure cinematic gold!

That's awesome, makes me (almost) want to watch it again.