Batman
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Post by Batman on Dec 20, 2019 15:24:59 GMT -5
The laughingstock of 2019 Internet has finally arrived.
It begins with Victoria, the lovely white cat who is also an expert ballerina, getting thrown into a sack by her owner, and abandoned in a random alleyway. I was puzzled at first as to why it was necessary to throw a perfectly good cat inside a sack and leave it by the dumpster. There’s other ways to get rid of a cat. Then it occurred to me. This cat is dead and this is purgatory. Immediately, all the alley cats descend upon Victoria and sing the Jellicle song. Tonight’s the night that Judi Dench chooses which cat will be reincarnated. Victoria meets all the cats, all of whom have elaborate, nonsensical and sexually charged musical numbers. Jason Derulo, in particular, takes the cake. The all invite Victoria to the Jellicle Ball where they’ll put a talent show for Judi Dench. The winner gets the prize of rebirth. Seriously. That’s the plot. Jennifer Hudson shows up, belts out Memories, and ascends back to Earth. Sorry if I spoiled it for y’all.
Cats is, well, a literal nightmare that furries will cherish till the end of time. Then they’ll be reborn and cherish it some more. Godspeed.
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1godzillafan
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Post by 1godzillafan on Dec 20, 2019 17:55:07 GMT -5
My review:  |
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Neverending
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Post by Neverending on Dec 20, 2019 20:23:17 GMT -5
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1godzillafan
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Post by 1godzillafan on Dec 23, 2019 10:31:27 GMT -5
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IanTheCool
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Post by IanTheCool on Dec 23, 2019 10:58:39 GMT -5
So.... this didn't work.
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Post by Neverending on Dec 23, 2019 14:34:27 GMT -5
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IanTheCool
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Post by IanTheCool on Dec 23, 2019 15:39:30 GMT -5
I meant the box office.
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Neverending
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Post by Neverending on Dec 23, 2019 15:52:32 GMT -5
Yeah. Didn’t stick to landing. |
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1godzillafan
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Post by 1godzillafan on Dec 23, 2019 16:22:02 GMT -5
All I know is that I'm more likely to go to the theater and see this piece of nightmare fuel again over Star Wars.
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SnoBorderZero
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Post by SnoBorderZero on Dec 23, 2019 16:32:00 GMT -5
This is definitely winning every Razzies category it's nominated for.
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1godzillafan
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Post by 1godzillafan on Dec 23, 2019 16:59:34 GMT -5
Undoubtedly. But that's because it's a high profile easy target that they like to pick on. I've seen much, much worse this year which the Razzies wouldn't touch because they'd rather cater to the popular bad movie hype at the expense of being predictable gibberish.
They've been the award ceremony version of some dude on a stage making armpit farts for a very long time.
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SnoBorderZero
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Post by SnoBorderZero on Dec 23, 2019 17:28:07 GMT -5
Oh absolutely, they never go with the truly worst movie but the one that's most polarizing. Cats is an easy target and has the horrible fanfare to back it all up.
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1godzillafan
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Post by 1godzillafan on Dec 23, 2019 17:33:33 GMT -5
The one point I'll give them is that Cats is at the very least an interesting bad movie as opposed to a just being a "safe" bad movie. If/when it wins, I likely won't care. Because if a bod movie is to be held in the spotlight, thank god it's an ambitious bad movie.
Jexi and Radioflash are worse though. A lot worse.
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Wyldstaar
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Post by Wyldstaar on Dec 23, 2019 19:14:49 GMT -5
If I didn't already know that #1Godzillafan enjoyed bad movies, I'd assume from his review that he's a furry. Cats must be the furry equivilent of porn.
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Neverending
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Post by Neverending on Dec 23, 2019 19:32:32 GMT -5
If I didn't already know that #1Godzillafan enjoyed bad movies, I'd assume from his review that he's a furry. Cats must be the furry equivilent of porn. It’s definitely the Cinemax After Dark of furry movies. |
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daniel
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Post by daniel on Dec 23, 2019 22:57:55 GMT -5
lol @ anyone who paid to go see this
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Neverending
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Post by Neverending on Dec 29, 2019 1:17:58 GMT -5
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Deexan
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Post by Deexan on Dec 29, 2019 4:14:09 GMT -5
What does that mean?
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Post by Neverending on Dec 29, 2019 4:51:40 GMT -5
"The critics put the hit on Gotti" was SnoBorderZero 's magnum opus as a marketing intern. |
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Neverending
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Post by Neverending on Jan 3, 2020 12:45:17 GMT -5
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Doomsday
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Post by Doomsday on Jan 3, 2020 13:56:31 GMT -5
8 months might not sound like a ton of time but it really depends on how that time is managed. To put it in perspective, a really VFX heavy feature might have around 1,500 visual effects shots. I think Endgame had somewhere in the low-2,000s. Some movies might give you a year, others might have a much tighter timeframe. Mandalorian on the other hand had over 4.000 visual effects shots with 7-8 months of post-production, basically the equivalent of 2-3 features just by the numbers so it just depends on who you have behind the wheel. Other movies have had similar or shorter post-production turnarounds but they weren't plagued with the problems that Cats apparently had. Usually when a trailer comes out people get excited, they don't give the production pages worth of notes of changes that need to be made like Cats and Sonic. Also I heard that a lot of the work from the VFX houses were way behind schedule and mix that in with an indecisive director or someone who just frame fucks every scene and you're going to get an over-budget, late and ultimately shitty product.
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Doomsday
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Post by Doomsday on Jan 3, 2020 23:24:24 GMT -5
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Post by Neverending on Jan 6, 2020 12:43:16 GMT -5
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Neverending
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Post by Neverending on Feb 10, 2020 23:41:13 GMT -5
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1godzillafan
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Post by 1godzillafan on Feb 11, 2020 0:42:07 GMT -5
The movie was patched in theaters after opening weekend. The potshot was valid.
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