Quick Opinions - Movie Edition

Just focus on the burgeoning mine-shaft societies.

The Doomsday Machine had the unintended effect of mutating a quarter of the human race which adapted to survive. They're all animal/hybrids in a Dr. Moreau meets Ninja Turtles take on Mad Max.

Gerard Butler will star in the lead, with thebtskink's favorite actor Justin Long cameoing at the end as the new re-risen ala Jesus Christ Dr. Strangelove.

Oh and techno music and slow mo and lots of it..

MY VISION!

Set it in 2020 and have Donald Trump play the President.

Hacksaw Ridge - Didn't see.

Million Dollar Baby - YEAH! FUCK HER UP WITH THE STOOL! NOW THIS IS BOXING!

Terminator 3 - Talk to the hand.

Garfield captures the rage inducing southern accent perfectly. It was damn near unwatchable because of it. Can not recommend. I was rooting for the japanese to finally hit him and put me out of my misery.

Eastwood's last decent flick.

And it ain't no genesys.

Hacksaw Ridge - I liked it when I saw it, but I also saw it the night Trump was elected, and relative to that event, it was easy to say, "Yeah, sure, Hacksaw Ridge is alright I guess". Looking back though, it really doesn't hold up. The first third corny bullshit, the second third army cliches played as saccharine melodrama, and the final third an admittedly well-crafted look at the horrors of war, but it's wasted by a movie which really doesn't have anything to say. D+


Million Dollar Baby - I haven't seen it since high school, but I loved it back then. It's easy to view the film cynically, but its sincere in its melodrama in very well-executed. Eastwood's hand is relatively restrained (at least as far as these things go) and the performances across the board are excellent. A


Terminator 3 - I can't beat Drac's concise summary, but I'll still throw in my two cents. Not the worst film imaginable, but it is emblematic of the laziest and least inspired type of sequel. A lame repetition of the first two films which lacks the same level of craft, care, or commitment. At least Salvation tried to do something a little different with the material, and at least Genisys* had the courtesy to be completely stupid and incompetent. D+


*I haven't actually seen Genisys, so this opinion is largely built on trailers and shit I've seen online.

Genisys was most definitely dumb, but I found it enjoyable in that kind of way in the moment. I won't revisit it or jump to its defense, however.

T3 has exactly two things going for it.

The fire truck chase, and the ending. I would have forgiven it if it were the last film in the series, because the ending is great.

Rocky II: This movie gets by on the virtue that it's more dignified than the sequels that followed, but it's mostly just a lame retread of Rocky I except this time Rocky wins. So basically a version of Rocky that isn't as smart. Burgess Meredith still rocks. C


Batman Returns: I've gotta give it up to Neverending; this movie rocks. It's weird and creative in a way which stands out given the current superhero movie landscape. The film also taps into Batman's psychology by contrasting him with a collection of villains which all speak to aspects of his personality. It's an ambitious choice and it leads to some very powerful scenes. I expect next time I watch this movie I'll full on love it. Tons of memorable moments and scenes too. A-


Back to the Future Part II: Years ago I dropped the hot take that this film was better than the OG and clearly I was wrong. I admire some of the filmmaking and there's some creatively inspired stuff, but there's also some really lazy writing like Marty's whole "nobody calls me chicken" schtick. B-

Rocky II - Would have been better with a stool and assisted suicide.

Batman Returns - Fuck this movie. Fuck it fuck it fuck it fuck it fuck it straight to hell.

Back to the Future Part II - Shark still looks fake.

Rocky II: Not a very creative movie, essentially a do-over of the first movie and they don't really come up with much of a high concept for it. That said, the movie does more or less "work" in the way you want a Rocky movie to work and there's nothing particularly wrong with it outside of the fact that it's standing on the shoulders of the original.

Bateman Returns: It's actually been kind of a long time since I've seen this one. As a kid I always found it clearly inferior to the original, which was a much tighter and more straightforward action movie. This one has a lot more in the way of Tim Burton creativity, which is not necessarily what most audiences want out of a batsman movie.

Back to the Future 2: Like it a lot. There are a lot of people who seem to like three better but I don't know what they're smoking. The future stuff is way more interesting than the old west stuff in that movie and the "interact with the events of the first movie" stuff in the second half is very clever and well done.

Fucking iPhone autocorrect...