What's on Your Mind: A New Journey

Nothing like a bassnectar show to look forward to on a Wednesday night.

I hate flu season. Damn you whoever passed the germs to me!! Can't get anything done today, screw it I'm watching Netflix all day!

Are you sure it's the flu? Sometimes it's really just a head cold bad enough to make you miserable. At least you have some movies to watch. Drink some OJ and have a nap, lol. 

My gran had one of those. It used to startle the crap out of me all the time, like it would always wait until I went by to squirt at me. Maybe they are all possessed, lol. 

Either that or they're telling us that we stink.    I'm going with your explanation.

I met and dated three different women from OkCupid. We'll call them E, K, and B.

E: We were together for close to two years. After a while I stopped finding her attractive and her personality annoying, but I was living with her and that's a hard plug to pull. Had never done it before. Then I did. She was my first serious girlfriend (I dated around a lot in high school and college, but never really had a 'serious' girlfriend), and early on I thought I would marry her. Then something clicked and I realized that I was smarter than she was, she wasn't going anywhere, she was overweight and unattractive, and I felt like she was holding me back. Didn't work out, and obviously in hindsight I'm glad it didn't work out.

K: I'm not the type of guy to call a girl crazy, but she was the "Earth has only been around for 6000 years and dinosaurs weren't real" kind of crazy. She was fun at first and a good lay, but I ended it after about two months. Not a good fit at all. Also, she smoked. It was goddamn 2012. Who smokes anymore?

B: Had serious issues with men and the idea of getting pregnant was horrifying to her. We dated (and lived together briefly) for about eight months, never had sex. Slept in separate beds when we were living together. Lack of intimacy was a real problem for me, and I broke up with her too (I can be harsh). In a parallel universe, we would have been great friends. She was really funny and we shared the same sense of humor, we just had very little romantic connection. I think we kind of realized it at the same time, but she had just bought a house and I was helping her with the mortgage and all of the bills. I think she was terrified of being alone in that situation. Her family was quite wealthy though, so I'm sure her father stepped in when I left. I don't feel bad about it.

I met my current girlfriend, love of my life, once in a lifetime girl while we were both working at Best Buy the summer after I graduated college. She was dating somebody else, but I fell in love with her almost immediately. We stayed good friends after she quit that job, and we both went on to do other things. Eventually her and the other guy broke up, I was dating E at that point. E and I broke up, Abbie (I guess I can use her name, I'm Facebook friends with 90% of you) was busy with work and wasn't really ready for another relationship, I dated K, etc.

There was a night almost immediately after my first date with B that I hung out with Abbie and a few mutual friends, and it felt like a double date (the mutual friends were a couple). Abbie and I sort of flirted all night, danced together at one point, and I kept telling myself I would go in for a kiss as I was dropping her off at her apartment. I didn't. Over time we grew apart, partially because B wasn't thrilled with the idea that I had this really close 'girl friend' in Abbie and I handled that poorly. She was my best friend and I always told her everything, and B didn't like that (and I guess I don't blame her for feeling that way).

Anyway, Abbie and I grew apart. B and I were spending a lot of time alone in the same house, and there was a night out of the blue that Abbie texted me (we hadn't spoken in probably four months). We confessed that we had both screwed up and we both wanted each other in our life again. I, thinking this might possibly be my last shot ever with the girl I still considered to be my 'dream girl', laid it all on the line telling her that I had serious feelings for her, wanted to see her, and wouldn't take no for an answer. She agreed to meet me for dinner and drinks the following night (at the time I was living with B in a small town in Wisconsin, working in a city about 45 minutes north of that small town, and Abbie was living/working about 15 minutes north of the city I worked in, so we met in that city), B went to school at night on Wednesdays so she wouldn't be around anyway.

Dinner was great, we reconnected and it felt like we hadn't ever stopped talking. I fell in love with her all over again. I felt bad that I was doing this behind B's back, but I also didn't think it was fair for B either to be in a relationship with someone who didn't love her anymore. I kissed her in the rain outside. We made plans to see each other the next night, I spent the night at her apartment and broke up with B the following day. Abbie and I were Facebook official (I use that term mockingly, somewhat seriously I suppose) a week later, living together two months later, looking at rings shortly thereafter (haven't bought one yet, but that's because she hasn't picked one out yet). Haven't regretted a single moment of it. Sometimes, things work out in the best of ways.

Tl;dr version: I agree, OkCupid is a crock of shit.

I think the part I was offended by was that she was not a virgin. Granted, it's not like she was throwing it around or anything either, but she had had sex with her boyfriend in college (at the time we were dating, she would have been a little over three years removed from school). My suspiscion was always that he pressured her more than I ever did. We rarely did anything of a sexual nature, it just wasn't her game at all. And when we would she always felt very awkward.

Yeah that's how it felt. Even without Abbie reconnecting I don't think the relationship with B was much longer for the world. I just had guilt over leaving her to deal with the house on her own since literally all of it was in her name. But, it was a decision she had mostly made before I came along and I rationalized it that way.

I mean, she was a 24 year old with a job that paid a little over $20/hour and the house she bought was close to $285k. I assumed her dad cosigned the mortgage but she never admitted that.

John is such a ladykiller.

They used to say the same thing about me until I was acquitted.

My longest relationship might be 6 months now that I think about it...

Just can't get into monogamy for long I guess.