Deexan
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Post by Deexan on Mar 24, 2018 18:48:12 GMT -5
It was like, everybody knows He-Man...but nobody really *knows* He-Man.
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Frizzo the Clown
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Post by Frizzo the Clown on Mar 24, 2018 18:51:22 GMT -5
MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE (1987) At the risk of angering Frizzo the Clown and Wyldstaar , I'm just gonna rip that bandaid and say it, I don't hate this movie. It's too bizarre to hate. Let's break it down. There's no beginning. You start in the middle of a fucking movie. All the characters are established. The story is in motion. If you had no knowledge of He-Man whatsoever you would have no idea what the fuck was going on. The balls in expecting your audience to know all the backstory. They don't even give you a Road Warrior/Evil Dead style montage to recap things. After the shock of their being no first act has settled in, they then ship He-Man off to Earth. This is usually where people turn off the movie. I'm sure 99.8% have never seen Masters of the Universe from beginning to end. The fact Courtney Cox has gone her entire career without being mocked for being in He-Man: The Movie is evidence of that. It's like Matt Le Blanc and that baseball/monkey movie that only thebtskink has watched. Only 00.02% of people have watched Masters of the Universe in its entirety: those unfortunate ones that paid to watch it in theaters, masochistic fanboys and now me. Perception is that this is a cheapo Canon production, one of many, but it actually isn't. He-Man lands on Earth. He meets Courtney Cox and her boyfriend (He-Man is gay, obviously, so he ain't gonna bang Monica Geller) and then Skeletor sends a bunch of monsters to kill them. It's like a way more convoluted version of Terminator. So once the premise has been set-up, all that follows is a series of action scenes. It's alarming how much action there is in this movie. Here's what I think happened. Clearly, there was a budget. They did build a set for Skeletor's lair. There's make-up, costumes and weapons. They closed down streets in Los Angeles to film a shit-ton of action scenes. There was money invested into this movie. But there was no faith in the audience. They knew kids were gonna drag their parents into this movie, so they made a movie for the parents and hoped the kids wouldn't care that it was a He-Man On Earth movie. But kids hated the movie because they wanna watch He-Man on He-Man Land, and since there's no first act, parents have no idea what the fuck is going on and tuned out right away. Lesson here is: stick to the damn source material. Other misguided adaptations could teach us that lesson as well, but at least this one is interesting to say the least. Let's now conclude by saying that Frank Langella is awesome as Skeletor. You're not going to anger me...I love this movie. Sure, looking back at it, it hasn't aged well. It...isn't great. I know that. But, I was a massive He-Man fan when I was a kid. Bigger than Star Wars. Yes. Bigger than Star Wars, GI Joe and Transformers combined. Thats how big it was for me. Yeah, it didn't follow any lore that I knew, and having it take place on Earth was a cop-out...but dammit, it was He-Man on the big screen. That was good enough for me. Fucking sold. |
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thebtskink
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Post by thebtskink on Mar 24, 2018 18:56:09 GMT -5
It's like Matt Le Blanc and that baseball/monkey movie that only thebtskink has watched.  |
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Neverending
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Post by Neverending on Mar 24, 2018 18:58:09 GMT -5
I was a massive He-Man fan when I was a kid. Bigger than Star Wars. Yes. Bigger than Star Wars, GI Joe and Transformers combined. Thats how big it was for me. Have you watched the Toys docu-series on Netflix? There's a great He-Man episode. |
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Neverending
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Post by Neverending on Mar 24, 2018 19:00:07 GMT -5
It's like Matt Le Blanc and that baseball/monkey movie that only thebtskink has watched. ... |
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Deexan
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Post by Deexan on Mar 24, 2018 19:08:01 GMT -5
MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE (1987)At the risk of angering Frizzo the Clown and Wyldstaar , I'm just gonna rip that bandaid and say it, I don't hate this movie. It's too bizarre to hate. Let's break it down. There's no beginning. You start in the middle of a fucking movie. All the characters are established. The story is in motion. If you had no knowledge of He-Man whatsoever you would have no idea what the fuck was going on. The balls in expecting your audience to know all the backstory. They don't even give you a Road Warrior/Evil Dead style montage to recap things. After the shock of their being no first act has settled in, they then ship He-Man off to Earth. This is usually where people turn off the movie. I'm sure 99.8% have never seen Masters of the Universe from beginning to end. The fact Courtney Cox has gone her entire career without being mocked for being in He-Man: The Movie is evidence of that. It's like Matt Le Blanc and that baseball/monkey movie that only thebtskink has watched. Only 00.02% of people have watched Masters of the Universe in its entirety: those unfortunate ones that paid to watch it in theaters, masochistic fanboys and now me. Perception is that this is a cheapo Canon production, one of many, but it actually isn't. He-Man lands on Earth. He meets Courtney Cox and her boyfriend (He-Man is gay, obviously, so he ain't gonna bang Monica Geller) and then Skeletor sends a bunch of monsters to kill them. It's like a way more convoluted version of Terminator. So once the premise has been set-up, all that follows is a series of action scenes. It's alarming how much action there is in this movie. Here's what I think happened. Clearly, there was a budget. They did build a set for Skeletor's lair. There's make-up, costumes and weapons. They closed down streets in Los Angeles to film a shit-ton of action scenes. There was money invested into this movie. But there was no faith in the audience. They knew kids were gonna drag their parents into this movie, so they made a movie for the parents and hoped the kids wouldn't care that it was a He-Man On Earth movie. But kids hated the movie because they wanna watch He-Man on He-Man Land, and since there's no first act, parents have no idea what the fuck is going on and tuned out right away. Lesson here is: stick to the damn source material. Other misguided adaptations could teach us that lesson as well, but at least this one is interesting to say the least. Let's now conclude by saying that Frank Langella is awesome as Skeletor. Bigger than Star Wars. Yes. Bigger than Star Wars, GI Joe and Transformers combined. Thats how big it was for me. Yeah, it didn't follow any lore that I knew, and having it take place on Earth was a cop-out...but dammit, it was He-Man on the big screen. That was good enough for me. Fucking sold. Ditto with regards to the He-Man franchise when it was nothing but a kids animated tv show and action figure range. That was some kick-ass marketing. |
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Deexan
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Post by Deexan on Mar 24, 2018 19:10:31 GMT -5
To this day I find myself pining for another, "proper", He-Man adaptation.
Whilst the sensible, adult me (which is buried way, way deep within my personal abyss) asks: "Wh-Why? Why though? WHHHHHHYYY?!?!?!?!"
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Wyldstaar
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Post by Wyldstaar on Mar 24, 2018 20:03:48 GMT -5
To this day I find myself pining for another, "proper", He-Man adaptation. Whilst the sensible, adult me (which is buried way, way deep within my personal abyss) asks: "Wh-Why? Why though? WHHHHHHYYY?!?!?!?!" I feel the same way. While I do have a few fond memories of playing with MotU toys, I was never a big fan. Most of my money was going towards Star Wars and GI Joe, then Transformers and Robotech. I'm not entirely sure if I actually owned any MotU toys. I know my little brother had Castle Greyskull, and there were action figures of He-Man, Skeletor and Beast Man around somewhere, but I'm not certain whose they were. Nevertheless, I'd still like to see it done right on the silver screen. Who knows, I might even go see it if they do! |
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Frizzo the Clown
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Post by Frizzo the Clown on Mar 24, 2018 20:55:47 GMT -5
To this day I find myself pining for another, "proper", He-Man adaptation. Whilst the sensible, adult me (which is buried way, way deep within my personal abyss) asks: "Wh-Why? Why though? WHHHHHHYYY?!?!?!?!" I feel the same way. While I do have a few fond memories of playing with MotU toys, I was never a big fan. Most of my money was going towards Star Wars and GI Joe, then Transformers and Robotech. I'm not entirely sure if I actually owned any MotU toys. I know my little brother had Castle Greyskull, and there were action figures of He-Man, Skeletor and Beast Man around somewhere, but I'm not certain whose they were. Nevertheless, I'd still like to see it done right on the silver screen. Who knows, I might even go see it if they do! I may have shared this here before, but when I was a kid, probably like 5, I received every figure in the line and Castle Greyskull for Christmas. To this day, best Christmas ever! |
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Neverending
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Post by Neverending on Mar 24, 2018 21:01:21 GMT -5
I received every figure in the line and Castle Greyskull for Christmas. |
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1godzillafan
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Post by 1godzillafan on Mar 24, 2018 21:50:57 GMT -5
I was a Ninja Turtles kid, myself. Had a few He-Man figures though.
The one toy line I remember most fondly that didn't seem to catch on was Dino-Riders. That shit needs a reboot.
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Neverending
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Post by Neverending on Mar 24, 2018 22:04:36 GMT -5
I was a Ninja Turtles kid, myself. Had a few He-Man figures though. The one toy line I remember most fondly that didn't seem to catch on was Dino-Riders. That shit needs a reboot. Speaking of Ninja Turtles and things that didn't catch on: |
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Wyldstaar
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Post by Wyldstaar on Mar 24, 2018 23:12:50 GMT -5
Every kid from the 80's needed to have a Castle Greyskull. It looked awesome, plus it was surprisingly cheap for such a large playset.
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thebtskink
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Post by thebtskink on Mar 24, 2018 23:17:10 GMT -5
I had the Turtle Van, but grew up always wanting the Technodrome.
Fucking Joey, that piece of shit. Parents bought him everything.
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1godzillafan
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Post by 1godzillafan on Mar 24, 2018 23:19:39 GMT -5
I had the Turtle Van (or "Party Wagon" as they tried to sell it as, but that shit was the TURTLE VAN, ASSHOLES), the Technodrome, and the Sewer Lair.
The Turtles toy that got away was the Turtle Blimp. I had a cousin that had it though.
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Neverending
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Post by Neverending on Mar 24, 2018 23:27:34 GMT -5
Fucking Joey, that piece of shit. Parents bought him everything. Joey Fatone?  |
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Neverending
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Post by Neverending on Mar 25, 2018 1:25:21 GMT -5
HARRY AND THE HENDERSONS (1987) Did you know the guy who played Predator also played Harry Henderson and both movies came out a month apart? Crazy! Anyway, this movie is fucking great. It should be considered one of the great Spielberg productions, but as I said in my Young Sherlock Holmes review, Spielberg fatigue had definitely set in at this point and it was a box office flop. In fact, everything Spielberg released in 1987 flopped, including his own directorial work Empire of the Sun. You can just imagine how badly he needed Roger Rabbit to succeed in `88. Anywho, this movie is surprisingly deep for a so-called silly family film. I can just picture Dracula, fresh out of the womb with a smoking pipe in his mouth saying, "I only watch Russian cinema." The movie tackles heavy themes such as animal rights, environmental protection and the current 2018 hot topic gun control. You have PG Cooper over here doing video essays on baby boomer movies like Eraserhead while he can be targeting that Generation Z audience with Harry and the Hendersons. You think I'm joking PG Cooper? Let me break it down for you. John Lithgow plays a gun store owner. He's out hunting with his family and runs into Bigfoot. There's a chance for him to kill Bigfoot or at least injure him and turn him into King Kong. He doesn't cause he realizes Bigfoot has feelings. So he takes Bigfoot home and makes him part of the family. But Bigfoot clearly doesn't belong in the suburbs and he gets himself into trouble. The town freaks out and business at the gun store starts booming as everyone wants a gun to protect themselves from Bigfoot. I'm not making this up PG Cooper. This all happens in the movie. Then John Lithgow gets fed up and tells everyone, "no guns for you." Only responsible adults should own firearms and it should be a pistol or rifle, nothing militaristic. Again, PG Cooper, this all happens. Knowing he's alone in all this, he helps Bigfoot go deep into the forest and away from humans. The movie ends with a classic Spielbergian tearjerker and an Academy Award for Rick Baker. Bravo. So PG Cooper, get to work. I want a video essay by Monday. Hashtag March4Life. And you Dracula. Leave the Goonies alone. To quote the great Cyndi Lauper, The Goonies R Good Enough.
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Deexan
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Post by Deexan on Mar 25, 2018 1:27:36 GMT -5
"Harry" crew.
Rick Baker the OG.
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Neverending
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Post by Neverending on Mar 26, 2018 1:41:18 GMT -5
The Money Pit (1986) The Money Pit is the first of many collaborations between Steven Spielberg and Tom Hanks. Hanks co-stars with Shelley Long (Cheers) as a young couple moving into the fixer upper from hell. The worse things get with their house, the more their relationship suffers and deteriorate. It's a sitcom made as a movie. There's not much to say except it's just another run-of-the-mill Tom Hanks comedy from the 80's that Steven Spielberg probably produced cause he lost a bet with Ron Howard.
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Neverending
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Post by Neverending on Mar 30, 2018 3:06:15 GMT -5
Who Framed Roger Rabbit (1988) 30 years before Steven Spielberg & Doomsday united 1980’s pop culture for a Hollywood blockbuster, Spielberg & Robert Zemeckis tackled a different sort of nostalgia. Roger Rabbit is about a 1940’s private eye in Los Angeles, played beautifully by Bob Hoskins, investigating the death of Marvin Acme, the man who owned Toon Town. The film is notable for its groundbreaking hybrid of live-action & animation and for its team-up of competing cartoon characters from the 1930’s & 40’s. This isn’t a movie you can appreciate as a kid. This isn’t Space Jam. The plot and characters went over our head. We just liked it cause it was interesting to watch. 1940’s noir meets Tex Avery. There isn’t anything like it. But watching it as an adult you get the satire, and in my case anyway, end up loving it.
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frankyt
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Post by frankyt on Mar 30, 2018 12:20:47 GMT -5
There's a grest kaptainkristian on Roger rabbit. Most of his vids are sweet though.
Great flick.
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Doomsday
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Post by Doomsday on Mar 31, 2018 12:38:42 GMT -5
HARRY AND THE HENDERSONS (1987) Did you catch this on Netflix? I rewatched it a couple months back. I used to love it when I was a little kid and they'd play it on Disney channel all the time. It's a nice little gem from the golden age of family movies although I might be biased. |
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Doomsday
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Post by Doomsday on Mar 31, 2018 12:39:37 GMT -5
I can just picture Dracula , fresh out of the womb with a smoking pipe in his mouth saying, "I only watch Russian cinema."  |
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Neverending
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Post by Neverending on May 18, 2018 21:39:25 GMT -5
The Burbs (1989) This movie ages like fine wine. I enjoyed it when I was younger but I actually "get it" now. There's a Twilight Zone where aliens shut off the electricity in a suburban neighborhood and all the residents turn on each other. It's easy to think that's what this movie is about, Tom Hanks even goes on a rant about the evils of suburbia, but that's not the case at all. Hanks plays a guy on a week long vacation. His wife, played by Carrie Fisher, suggests they should go out and do something. He refuses. He just wants to spend his all week laying around the house. Instead, he ends up snooping on his creepy neighbors and it leads to all sorts of shenanigans backed by a great Jerry Goldsmith score. Joe Dante directs and you get the zany humor he's famous for, but what makes the movie relatable is Hanks boredom with life. It isn't a movie about suburbia, it's about the midlife crisis of a man with a 9 to 5 job. You can almost call this a companion to Office Space. Instead of going off at work and beating up the copy machine with a bat, he takes his baggage home and blows up a house.
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Deexan
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Post by Deexan on May 19, 2018 19:33:18 GMT -5
Corey Feldman.
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