Black Cinema Matters

Wait, a lesbian scene with Kristy Swanson and Jennifer Connelly?

Where can I find this masterpiece?

I watched Higher Learning an absurd amount of times when it arrived at my local video store.

To Sir, with Love (1967)



Long before Will Smith was the whitest black man in Hollywood, there was Sidney Poitier. This man was so inoffensive that in 1967, a seminal year in which he also starred in Heat of the Night and Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner, they cast him as the inspirational teacher at an inner city white school in England. No one blinked. The movie isn’t even infamously laughable. The world watched it and said, “..... sure.”

Not here to discredit Mr. Poitier. His accomplishments are culturally important and this movie does have its place. In 12 years he went from the hoodlum in Blackboard Jungle to the first black man to win Best Actor at the Oscars to starring as the righteous teacher in an all-white school.

But there’s still a tiny part in all of us that chuckle at the absurdity of this movie. Embrace it. The world’s a strange place.

This is where I’m confused. I get that having Sidney Poitier teach at a Southern redneck school might have been too much for 1960’s America, so they moved the story to inner city England. But isn’t Britain just as racist, or even more racist, than America? How was this movie NOT controversy in the U.K. ? It reminds me of the scene in Do the Right Thing where Spike Lee says to John Turturro, “you hate black people but you also wear Michael Jordan sneakers.” This movie is a pair of Michael Jordan sneakers. The fact this movie was a non-controversial smash hit would make a great lesson plan in your movie class.

By the way, what’s the black experience in Canada? I know you guys hate aboriginals, but did you guys also have black slaves and civil rights and all that stuff?

Show them Malcolm X.

The British hate poor people about as much as they hate black people and Indians, so they probably didn't care that a bunch of East End kids had a teacher of color. If the film had had Poitier teaching at Eton or something they probably would have started shitting themselves.

STEEL (1997)



Full Disclosure: I watched Steel with the intent of mocking it, but following a day in which valentines turned into another school shooting in America, I just couldn't get in the mood. Truth is, it ain't that bad. It came out the same year as Batman & Robin and Spawn and is Citizen Kane by comparison. Shaquille O'Neal had no business acting... or making video games... or rap music, but there is a solid movie built around him. This could have joined Meteor Man and Blankman as an urban cult hit if they hadn't gone with the stunt casting. You're telling me Mario Van Peebles wasn't available?

Steel is very much a 90's superhero film. We're introduced to Steel and he's working for the military in their weapons development program. After a bad accident leaves his friend in a wheelchair, he leaves and moves back with his family in Los Angeles. One of them is Ray J, less than a decade before his penis made Kim Kardashian a billion dollar industry. Anyway, Steel is just chillin' in L.A. when suddenly street gangs show up with the weapons he was developing in the military, and they start terrorizing the neighborhoods. If any of this sounds familiar it's because it's the plot to Iron Man. You motherfuckers gonna go watch Black Panther this weekend and praise it for being "revolutionary", meanwhile ya'll talking mad shit about Steel. This is the real groundbreaker. But cause white man Robert Downey Jr did his own version, we're gonna erase Steel from history. Not under my watch.



Anyway, Steel joins forces with his wheelchair buddy and Shaft and the three of them build a superhero suit for Steel and now he's roaming the streets of L.A. fighting crime. You get the montage. You get the mini battles with the villain. You get the hero's home attacked and his loved ones kidnapped. You get the big final confrontation with the bad guys in an isolated area. It's all textbook stuff. Aside from Shaq's acting, the generic script is what hurts the overall product.

I'd never put this alongside the early greats of the genre. But its reputation is way too harsh. It's middle-of-the-road. And isn't that where most modern day Marvel and DC movies land? You're gonna fault Steel cause it was early in the game and had a low budget and didn't end with Los Angeles blowing up? Not under my watch.

METEOR MAN (1993)



He rapes but he saves, and he saves more than he rapes, but he does rape.

As the Black Panther begins its second week of dominance at the box office, having already grossed $500 million worldwide, let's take a moment to remember the black superhero who was there when superheroes weren't in fashion: Meteor Man.

We can mock Robert Townsend all we want but the man is a pioneer of black entertainment. After breaking the racial barrier with Hollywood Shuffle, he continued his 'representation matters' crusade with Meteor Man.

Yes, the movie is sappy and cliche but it makes up for it with heart. Heart is something that's missing from almost every superhero movie made today. They can't fit it inbetween all the explosions.

Meteor Man stars Townsend as Jefferson Reed, a wimpy substitute teacher living in a gang ridden neighborhood of Washington DC. After he's struck by a green glowing meteor, he gets Superman type powers and sets out to clean the neighborhood.

He isn't pitted against any supervillains. The city doesn't blow up. There aren't any quick fixes. The movie is quaint. His major accomplishment is inspiring the community to stand up against crime.

It might be sappy and unrealistic, but that's what we want from our superheroes. No really thinks a man in an iron suit is gonna fly to the Middle East and stop a tank. It's fantasy based on real problems. So let's not be overly critical because it tackles a subject closer to home.

DANGEROUS MINDS (1995)



Dracula's latest nostalgia series is talking shit about the 80's, but don't get too smug cause it's only a matter of time till PG Cooper sharpens his knives and talks shit about the 90's.

Strangely enough, one of the defining movies of the decade for people that lived through it, is Dangerous Minds. Movie was huge. Soundtrack was huge. Both are long forgotten in 2018. So why did it resonate at the time? It definitely wasn't the subject matter. As thebtskink will point out, forget Blackboard Jungle, we had Lean on Me and The Substitute so the lack of originality didn't escape anyone. The reason, and Doomsday will hate to read this, might be Michelle Pfeiffer.

It's easy to take Edward James Olmos for granted in Stand & Deliver, but as soon as you see a white woman enter an inner city classroom your mind goes to dark places. You're just waiting for the rape scene. The movie doesn't even shy from it. The first scene is literally a student walking up to her and saying, "I wanna eat your pussy." The fact she changes lives AND doesn't get raped is a major accomplishment. That's when you get off your seat and give the movie a standing ovation. Here's an example where you prefer the female Ghostbuster over the male one. It's more interesting to see a woman in this situation than A MAN laying down the law. And a white woman specifically cause if you put a sassy black woman or a latina it just wouldn't be the same. You see that white woman and think to yourself, "I wanna see where this is going."