Turkeys and Kangaroos

White chicks

Turkey: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part II

This movie was in my top three films of 2011. What the fuck? Not that it's bad, but it's actually one of the weaker Harry Potter movies. Almost an all-action climax that doesn't really have enough story without Part I and while the action is mostly good, it isn't exactly great. Voldemort just doesn't resonate that powerfully as a villain and his final showdown with Harry is lame in its staging and resolution. The film has its moments, like the big Snape reveal and generally the weight of being with these characters for such a long journey is felt, but it doesn't really land as the big conclusion it clearly wants to. Also the epilogue sucks. It worked in the books but is completely wrong for the films.


Kangaroo: Anatomy of a Murder

I honestly don't know why I gave this such a lukewarm review back in 2013. It's fantastic. Amazing performances from top to bottom, a detailed and dramatic trial staged nicely by Otto Preminger, some very witty dialogue. It's great! Perhaps a little messy in some subplots but overall riveting cinema pretty ahead of its time in its frank discussions of sexual assault and generally adult tone.

I watched Edge of Seventeen. It was sitting on my DVR for way too long. The movie is both a turkey and a kangaroo. Whats-Her-Face from True Grit is a good actress but her character is kinda annoying. It’s one of those movies that will make sense to a teenager cause their going through hormonal imbalance, but then they’ll re-watch the movie as an adult and be like, “oh, wow, I was really stupid.”

I also watched Mystery Men? Remember that shit? With Ben Stiller and Pee-Wee Herman and William H. Macy. The movie that put All-Star by Smash Mouth on the map before Shrek did. Anyway — my memory of that movie was totally wrong. I remembered it being a Kick Ass / James Gunn’s Super type movie, but nah man, it's a poor man’s The Tick. Horrible movie. I don’t know why anyone wasted their time making it. William H. Macy could have been doing other things, like defrauding colleges or something.

One of my high school teachers loved Mystery Men, she made us watch it on more than one occasion.  Don't ask me why, I never thought it was that good either.

The Mask was one of my favorites in the 1990’s. I even loved the cartoon that aired on CBS (starring Rob Paulsen). So this right here, I consider, one of the most blasphemous reviews that Doomsday has ever posted. It only took me 6 years to respond. I wanted to make sure I was in the right state of mind when I revisited it. And no, that doesn’t mean smoking SnoBorderZero’s funny paper.

Right off the bat, I gotta address PG Cooper’s infamous critique of Army of Darkness. His quote, “this is the cheapest expensive movie I’ve ever seen.” That popped into my head during the Mask. The budget was supposedly $23 million, and yeah, I can see that. lol. The most glaring example of that is how the film rushes from scene to scene. This is a 2 hour movie packed into 90 minutes. But credit has to be given to director Chuck Russell (Dream Warriors, ‘88 Blob) because there’s something interesting occurring in each scene. No moment is wasted here. Efficiency is the name of the game.

As acknowledged by even the detractors, this was a perfect role for Jim Carrey. He gets to play a live-action Tex Avery cartoon character. Side note, I love his character’s apartment. Even as an old ass man, I’d live there. Picture frames of Porky Pig and Daffy Duck. The Tasmanian Devil pillow. R.I.P. the Warner Bros store. Anyhoo, Richard Jeni (R.I.P.) is great. What’s-his-face from Animal House. I loved his partner. Doyle? Milo, the greatest big screen dog ever. Star making role for Cameron Diaz. Everyone in 1994 gave her a salute. Even Roger Ebert. Seriously. Go back and read his review.

On the page, the villains aren’t great. I’m not quite sure what the evil scheme was supposed to be. But the cast makes up for it. They’re all great.

Now onto to the big controversy. Is it funny? Yeah… I think it is. I wasn’t laughing my ass off, but I was amused by it. The plot is that a down on his luck schmuck puts on a Loki powered mask and turns into a cartoon character. What did you expect the Mask to be? Cool World starring Brad Pitt. Yeah, go watch that and get back to me, motherfucker. The Mask does the concept well and is fun.

By the way, the soundtrack is great. I may have mentioned this in the past, but the Mask was the first CD I bought. I went from Lion King on cassette to Mask on CD in like the course of a month. Wild stuff, Dracula. Wild stuff. Actually, that may not be accurate. I also had Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls on CD. She Ca-Ca. A classic. I may have bought both CD’s together. Yeah, I was a soundtrack nerd even back then. And the Mask had a lot of bangers. The Swingers soundtrack wishes it were this good.

I like the first one, but I definitely don't love it like almost everyone else.