The [your name here] Awards!

So you're saying Nintendo is tricking people into spend money on the same game over and over again?

Best Zelda game?

Better than Link to the Past? Get the fuck out.

Burger Time rocks. I'd probably give it to Donkey Kong Jr. though.

Boardgame of the year: Survive!

E.T. takes movie of the year.

1981

Best Film
Raiders of the Lost Ark
Reds
Mephisto
Boot, Das
My Dinner With Andre

Winner:

Worst Film
Blow Out
Halloween II
Friday the 13th Part 2

Winner:

Best TV Show
The Jeffersons (Season 7)
Hill Street Blues (Season 1)
WKRP in Cincinnati (Season 3)
MASH (Season 9)
Taxi (Season 3)

Winner:

Best Video Game
Defender (Arcade)


Defender is different from a lot of the space games of this time, in part because it goes left to right instead of up and down.  Also you can go in either direction across a map that doesn't auto scroll, and you have to engage the thruster, and you need to save people instead of just shooting everything... come to think of it I don't know that this is even really in the same genre as those other space shooters... well whatever it is it's a very challenging and intense experience.

Donkey Kong (Arcade)


The game that put Nintendo on the map, arguably acted as the debut Mario game, caused a very lucrative lawsuit, and inspired documentaries, Donkey Kong was probably the very biggest success story of the post-Pac Man fever arcade golden age of the early 80s. It also lets you jump over a lot of barrels.   There are a couple of things about it that annoy me like the fairly random collectibles and how some of the barrel patterns force you to rely on dumb luck, but it's clearly a classic.

Frogger (Arcade)


A favorite of everyone from myself to George Costanza, Frogger is a game that's kind of brilliant in its simplicity.  You just need to help these frogs cross the road and get to their little nooks at the end.  Of course it switches things up on you about half way through by going from avoiding the moving objects to having to aim for them.  There is a complexity to playing it though as it forces you to think ahead and plan your moves lest you trap yourself between two oncoming vehicles.  BTW, I don't generally care for mobile games, but there's this one game I have on my iPhone called Crossy Road which is essentially an Endless Frogger.  Great way to kill time when you aren't getting a signal.

Galaga (Arcade)

Galaga is probably the most famous space shooter outside of Space Invaders itself, upon which this is plainly a vast improvement.  The game is actually a sequel to Galaxian and features a number of cool features like the way your ship can be kidnapped and then returned if you save it for double shooting power.  This little dilemna in particular is one of the great strategic debates in all of gaming.  As I see it (and this is the perspective for mortals, not Galaga savants who are good enough to not even really need extra lives) the reward isn't there for the risk and you're best to avoid the kidnapping altogher as that extra life will ultimately prove more useful in the long run.

Ms. Pac Man (Arcade)


A lot of people think that Ms. Pac Man is just the same game as Pac Man but with a bow put on the protagonist... and a lot of people are wrong.  For one thing, the fuit doesn't show up in the same place all the time.  Also there are different mazes and the ghost A.I. has been tweaked.  There's also improved sound and a better death animation.  Finally though, it includes cutscenes in between some levels that play out a romance for the ages between Mr. and Ms. Pac Man which is... well it puts anything John Keats ever wrote to shame.

Winner:

Best Hit Song
"Another One Bites the Dust" by Queen

It's been said that one of the distinctive things about Queen is that all four members were songwriters and each had a distinct style.  Freddie Mercury wrote the more elaborately produced and flamboyant tracks ("Don't Stop Me Now" "Crazy Little Thing Called Love"), lead guitarist Brian May tended more towards the stadium anthems ("I Want It All" "Fat Bottomed Girls"), drummer Roger Taylor tended towards more concrete lyrical themes ("Under Pressure" "Radio Ga Ga"), and then there was John Deacon who tended to be more of a down to earth rocker ("You're My Best Freind" "I Want to Break Free").  It probably doesn't take too many guesses to figure out who wrote Another One Bites the Dust (Hint: it has one of the most recognizable basslines ever) and it does sound a lot different than most of their tracks in its relative minimalism.  If there's a drawback to it it's that Freddie Mercury is not necessarily the most plausible narrator of a gangland shootout, but he sells it well enough.  

"Celebration" by Kool and the Gang

Celebration is one of those songs that's so good at being a celebitory anthem that it gets played so often over award ceremonies and weddings that it's easy to sort of tune out and disregard at this point.  That's unfortunate because it's really this wonderfully constructed little song if you stop and listen to it.  That riff is kind of iconic, the rythem section is really tight,  the "woo hoo!"s and horns are well timed and the hook is incredibly catchy.

"Don't Stand So Close to Me" by The Police

This would be another song by "The Police" which sounds super light and bouncy until you actually listen to the verses and realize it's about an underage girl having an affair with a teacher.  Initially you think it's just about her being infatuated and the teacher trying to ward her off with the chorus, but no, the second verse makes it pretty clear that he actually is fucking her and there's even a straight up Lolita reference at the end.  Kinda creepy.  Still, I do like songs that have lyrics at odds with their tones and this is a pretty clever and catchy one.

"Hit Me with Your Best Shot" by Pat Benatar

One of the better love as a battlefield metaphor songs (better than "Love is a Battlefield" for that matter), this straight-forward rock song has Pat Benatar showing that she's every bit the match for the womanizer she's encountering that she isn't some naive waif who's going to wilt the second this guy leaves the next morning.  That if she's just a notch in the bedpost for him, well, he's just a notch in the lipstick case for her.  Pretty transgressive and empowering for 1981 if you think about it.  It's also just an all around fundamentally solid rock song with a tight riff and a pretty good solo.

"Just the Two of Us" by Grover Washington Jr. Ft. Bill Withers

This is an interesting little thing in that it was a song featured on the album of jazz saxophonist Grover Washington Jr. but was written and performed by the great singer and songwriter Bill Withers.  In other words it was a precursor to the modern era of songs credited to Producers and DJs but sung by other popstars, and if they'd invented the "featuring" credit at this time all of this would have been a lot clearer.  Anyway, this is a really nice little love song that paints a pretty clear picture of a couple who are trying to decide whether or not to go all in on a relationship and finding it in themselves that, yes, there's no time like the present and together they can overcome obstacles.  That "power of love" sentiment rarely feels this well thought out and honestly come to.

Winner:

His story on the inspiration for that one has changed many times over the years.


Technically it's a Dr. Evil song



It's not as bad as some of the shit I've nominated as worst of the year (which will be more and more the case as we continue going back in time) but it's a pale imitation of Blow Up and the ending sucks. The film community needs to get off of Brian De Palma's dick.

You're right; Keats is a hack. Ms Pacman is one of my favourite games.

How are you able to know these old shows so well that you know which is best from year to year?

Mmmm... I kind of don't.  I mean, even during the 2000s and 2010s when I was dealing exclusively with shows that I'd seen every episode of in chronological order I was still only slightly cognizant of which seasons were which.  Getting into the 80s and beyond I'm almost entirely dealing with shows I know from having watched in syndication completely out of order well over a decade ago when I had time to watch sitcom reruns all day, which is a big part of why there aren't going to be very many nominated dramas going forward.  That having been said, while I might not be able to distinguish seasons very accurately these are all shows I'm familiar with and when I pick winners there's usually at least a reason.  Like I picked Mash in 1983 because that was the year its final episode set records and I picked Hill street Blues this year because its debut is considered a landmark, otherwise I'm just trying to spread the wealth and make sure certain shows get a win.

1980

Best Film
Raging Bull
Shining, The
Kagemusha
Elephant Man, The
Empire Strikes Back, The

Winner:

Worst Film
Airplane!
Caddyshack
Dressed to Kill
Friday the 13th

Winner:

Best TV Show
The Jeffersons (Season 6)
MASH (Season 8)
Three's Company (Season 4)
Taxi (Season 2)
WKRP in Cincinnati (Season 2)

Winner:

Best Video Game
Adventure (Atari)


Adventure is a game that you need a lot of historical perspective in order to appreciate.  The game had a number of innovative features like the fact that you are going across multiple screens and collecting items and slaying dragons.  On the other hand, the thing you're controlling is littlerally a square dot and those ferocious dragons kind of look like the Prince logo.  Games of this era required a lot of imagination, but I'm sure there were a lot of great games that came later because of this one's inovations.

Berzerk (Atari)


Berzerk is a simple game that offers simple pleasures.  Your goal is to run through a maze and shoot the shit out of any evil robot that gets in your way.  It holds up a little better than your average Atari 2600 game and there's a neat graphical effect where the robots' eyes are constantlyy moving, which kind of makes them look like Battlestar Gallactica Cylons.  That's pretty neat.

Centipede (Arcade)

Centipede is a weird little game.  It's essentially a space shooter along the lines of Space Invaders, but instead of being set in space it's set in someone's garden and has you going toe to toe with a big multi-legged bug as well as some stray spiders and whatnot.  The way it moves is not unlike the old gaming concept "Snake", but here you're on the defensive rather than the offensive and it's overall a neat little twist on some familiar concepts.

Missile Command (Arcade)


A go-to prop for Cold War movies looking to make an ironic point, Missile Command is a frantic little game where you had to desperately shoot down the nuclear missiles that were raining down upon your cities.  The game was controlled using a track ball instead of a joystick, which made it ideal for PC ports over the years as it could easily be translated into mouse control.  Possibly an unofficial prequel to the Fallout series. 

Pac-Man (Arcade)


The game that created a true epidemic calledPac Man Fever, the video game industry has a lot to thank this game for.  There is a reason why this thing managed to last as long as it did; there's a simplicity to it that allows you to pick it up easily but also enough variation that it doesn't feel rote.  Just an endlessly fun game that people enjoy to this day.  

Winner:

Best Hit Song
"Another Brick in the Wall Part 2" by Pink Floyd

In this day in age making a concept album about a rock star building a metaphorical wall between himself and his audience would not exactly be a surefire way to make money, but low and behold it somehow gave Pink Floyd a Diamond selling album back in 1980.  It also somehow gave them what would turn out to be the second most successful single of the year in Another Brick in the Wall Part 2 (Education), a sort of protest song about the vapidity of the educational system.  Like much of The Wall this is a bit closer to conventional arena rock than Pink Floyd's other music but doesn't feel like a sell-out moment either.  The children's choir certainly give it flavor, but it's ultimately a guitar driven number and a pretty good one. 

"Call Me" by Blondie

Blondie were notable for the fact that they had four different number one singles over the course of their careers and each of the four were in kind of a different style.  Where their other three singles were all explorations of rap, regae, and disco, "Call Me" is the number one single that was more reflective of their usual New Wave style, which is ironic because the main composition was actually written by Giorgio Moroder and then performed by the band as the lead single from the American Gigolo soundtrack.  Either way it's an infectious little number with a strong rhythm and hook.

"Funkytown" by Lipps Inc

Funkytown is an odd little song, one clearly born of the disco movement, but with more Kraftwerk-y early techno elements than most prime disco (which usually relied more on actual horns and instruments).  There's also an element of actual funk music to it as there is clearly a legit groove underneath it all that you can clearly hear in the earlier parts of the song.  The whole doo-doo-doo-doo do doo-doo-doo-da part is a total ear worm and the song plays off of it in a couple of interesting ways.

"Rise" by Herb Alpert

Herby Herby Alpert, can't you see?  Sometimes your horns just hypnotize me, and I just love that backing groove, guess that's why Biggie will sample you some day.  This was something of a fluke hit in its day which was propelled by the fact that it appeared on an episode of General Hospital during a very brief period where daytime soaps had an outsized influence on popular culture.  Whatever works I guess, it gave Alpert the distinction of being the only artist to ever reach number one both with a vocal single and an instrumental single.  

"Rock with You" by Michael Jackson

Off the Wall was Michael Jackson's best album and it isn't even close.  This single off of that album is hard to even talk about really it's just a really amazingly well-crafted pop song.  Michael Jackson's vocals are incredibly smooth and sincere and he isn't loading it with weird Jackson-isms like "whoo!" and "Jam-on."  Quincy Jones' production is amazing, the song itself is simple and gets its point accross.

Winner:

The best song from Off the Wall is... Off the Wall.




Also, while Off the Wall is more consistent and Thriller has all the hits, I'd argue that Bad is his best album.