un-Valentines Day

Even worse. You were pre Woke. Show the movie to your students. Report back on what they say.

As Good as it Gets is disappointing on several levels as much as I want to embrace it.

The cast is terrific and I think the idea of the character that Nicholson plays is a good one, but the execution isn't. Like I said on the prior page, it wastes time dabbling in poorly developed subplots involving Greg Kinnear's character (which is a problematic representation of a gay man as well) especially when the three of them take a road trip to see his parents, which they don't even end up doing.

I don't think it's a bad film, but it's a very unfocused one that disappointed me considering how much praise it universally receives. I also don't like Terms of Endearment, so perhaps outside of Broadcast News as much as I want to love James L. Brooks his movies just don't do it for me.

Show them Birdemic.

What about Cuba Gooding Jr as a gay man?

Haven't seen the remake, but it seems to be severely lacking in star power. The original had Humphrey Bogart, William Holden, and Audrey Hepburn. The remake is Harrison Ford...and Greg Kinnear...and Julia Ormond.

Greg Kinnear was Captain Amazing. That's good enough for me.

He was a very undercooked and ultimately useless character in the film. He just promptly fades away as the movie progresses.

ROMAN HOLIDAY (1953)



From Paramount, the studio behind generational talent such as SnoBorderZero, comes Roman Holiday, starring Gregory Peck and Audrey Hepburn in her film debut.

Paramount isn’t a studio known for making good movies — and Roman Holiday is no exception. It’s in black & white. Yuk. The editing is atrocious. If I had a penny for every jump cut, I’d have enough money to purchase GameStock.

But that all pales in comparison to the problematic script. Gregory Peck takes a drunk teenager to his apartment without her consent. He lies to her about his identity and his intentions. And he asks a friend to take creepshots of her. This movie is absolutely disgusting and I need PG Cooper to gather his Zoomer friends and cancel this godforsaken movie.

F- so says Doomsday

You weren't woke yet.

Yeah I like Roman Holiday.

I read in the trades that Paramount and SnoBorderZero were remaking Breakfast at Tiffany's with Florence Pugh in the role of Holly Golightly. PG Cooper had mentioned the lack of star power in the remake of Sabrina - and I do wonder how SnoBorderZero will be able to fill the shoes of cinema's greatest Asian-American actor Mickey Rooney. At least Audrey Hepburn is a nobody. Florence Pugh should be just fine.

The movie is based on a novella by Truman Capote. I'm gonna make an educated guess and say that SnoBorderZero will adapt the book and not do a remake of the Blake Edwards original. I know he hired John August to tackle the script for him. But I do wonder if that's the right move. In Capote's version, Holly is Marilyn Monroe and the story is told through the point of view of her neighbor, played in the film by Col. Hannibal from the A-Team. That changes the tone of the story. It's just about a loser lusting over a slut. When Blake Edwards cast Audrey Hepburn and shifted the focus on the quirks of the character, it made relatable to women. Breakfast at Tiffany's is a chick flick. Do you really wanna turn it into a guy flick? I think they'll be a backlash. Although I wouldn't mind adding some grit to the story. It's 2021 not 1961. You can spice it up a bit. Make it similar to Sex and the City. That's essentially what Breakfast at Tiffany's is, a neutered Sex and the City. Give it its cojones back and make the ghost of Truman Capote happy.

Good luck to you, SnoBorderZero. I'll be the first in line to watch it. I'm gonna assume it'll be dumped on Amazon Prime. So, I'll be the firs to click on it.

MY BLOODY VALENTINE 3D (2009)



PhantomKnight, let’s take a trip down memory lane to 2009 when Jensen Ackles was in My Bloody Valentine 3D and Jared Padalecki starred in the Michael Bay produced remake of Friday the 13th. Hilariously, not only were these movies released a month apart but Friday the 13th had the audacity to take the Valentines Day weekend release date. Also, your girl Megan Boone, from the Blacklist, is in My Bloody Valentine 3D. And let’s just say her cameltoe deserved an Academy Award nomination.

I actually enjoy the Friday the 13th remake. My Bloody Valentine 3D? Not so much. It’s funny watching this movie and getting weirdly nostalgic for all the shitty movies that got released in late 2008 and early 2009. The Spirit. Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li. Dragonball: Evolution. X-Men Origins: Wolverine. I can see why SnoBorderZero has a fondness for this time period. The movies weren’t just bad. They were, how do I put this, unapologetically bad. In the 1980’s and 90’s you had campy movies. There were cheap movies that turned out unintentionally hilarious. By the 2000’s, technology had reached the point that if you put a million dollars into a movie, it’ll look okay. It’s passable. So it comes down to how much a filmmaker gives a shit, and astonishingly, a lot of them didn’t.

There isn’t much to My Bloody Valentine 3D. It’s just gore, tits and Megan Boone’s cameltoe. There’s no plot. There’s no characters. It’s just people getting murdered for 90 minutes — in 3D!!!! Can you imagine this getting made today? It wouldn’t happen. At least not theatrically. It could get dumped on VOD or Netflix and get lost in the shuffle. But it wouldn’t be a studio film getting a wide theatrical release. There’s like a 5 or 10 minute scene in which actress Betsy Rue is running around completely naked (head to toe) at a cheap motel while the Miner (the villain in the story) chases her around and eventually kills. Twitter would lose its mind if that was put in a movie today. Critics and entertainment journalists would write reviews and articles on the gratuitous violence and nudity. But in 2009, literally, no one gave a shit. lol. Also, keep in mind, this is a movie for teenagers. Yeah, it’s R-rated, but it was made for high school and college kids. Who else you think paid to watch this movie in theatres? Besides 1godzillafan. It’s mindless violence for kids. At least in the 80’s slashers it had to pretend to be a movie. Here, nah, it’s just a guy killing people. In 3D! It’s a crappy movie, but I admire that it had one objective and stuck to it. 2000’s cinema really was wonderful. lol.