Neverending
CS! Platinum
Join Date: Jul 2003
Posts: 65,788
Likes: 8,649
Location:
Last Online Nov 25, 2024 12:00:25 GMT -5
|
Post by Neverending on Apr 14, 2022 2:38:13 GMT -5
Harry Potter sucks… but I’m lukewarm towards Fantastic Beasts. Unfortunately… this concluding chapter to the trilogy (I doubt there’ll be more of these) is a major bore. I must have dozed off 50 times throughout the 2.5 hour runtime. Whats-his-face is no Johnny Depp or even Colin Farrell. Eddie Redmayne… can he please go away? Dan Fogler had nothing to do. The cast pretty much sucks except for Jude Law as Dumbledore and Jessica Williams as Black Lady. The plot is that whats-his-face tries to steal an election. Really? Is that it. Why is he even running for public office? Is this some Donald Trump allegory that J.K. Rowling threw into her Harry Potter movie? Ma’am, we’re in the Sleepy Joe era. Maybe Grindelwald’s evil scheme should have been to raise our gas prices. Anyhoo, this movie fucking blows. Morbius is better than this shit. I’m not even joking.
|
|
Doomsday
Administrator 
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 23,306 
Likes: 6,769
Location:
Member is Online
|
Post by Doomsday on Apr 14, 2022 10:39:30 GMT -5
I know people like the Harry Potter-verse but man are they milking this damn thing for all its worth.
|
|
Dracula
CS! Gold
Join Date: Sep 2002
Posts: 26,105
Likes: 5,732
Location:
Member is Online
|
Post by Dracula on Apr 14, 2022 11:20:46 GMT -5
Amazing how circumstances and bad decisions seemed to have fucked up this franchise even more than the DCEU. This shit should have been easy money and yet...
|
|
1godzillafan
Studio Head
Join Date: Feb 2017
I like pie!
Posts: 9,480
Likes: 6,217
Location:
Last Online Nov 8, 2024 5:42:00 GMT -5
|
Post by 1godzillafan on Apr 14, 2022 16:27:35 GMT -5
So much has happened since the last movie backfired: JK Rowling, Johnny Depp, Ezra Miller...
It's like divine intervention wants to destroy this franchise. Jude Law must be protected at all costs.
|
|
Neverending
CS! Platinum
Join Date: Jul 2003
Posts: 65,788
Likes: 8,649
Location:
Last Online Nov 25, 2024 12:00:25 GMT -5
|
Post by Neverending on Apr 14, 2022 16:41:55 GMT -5
So much has happened since the last movie backfired: JK Rowling, Johnny Depp, Ezra Miller... It's like divine intervention wants to destroy this franchise. Jude Law must be protected at all costs. Jude Law wasted his talents on this shit series. |
|
1godzillafan
Studio Head
Join Date: Feb 2017
I like pie!
Posts: 9,480
Likes: 6,217
Location:
Last Online Nov 8, 2024 5:42:00 GMT -5
|
Post by 1godzillafan on Apr 15, 2022 2:13:50 GMT -5
So the word on the street was it's better than the last one. I don't know if "better" is the word I'd use. Less aggressively unpleasant would be a more apt description. A lot simpler and less dense with muddled exposition maybe. But it's really just as underwhelming in a different way. This flick feels like it was given a studio sanitation, like they saw just how much people didn't respond to the last one and just gave this one severe micromanagement to make the safest movie possible, like The Rise of Skywalker or Joss Whedon's cut of Justice League. It feels like half the movie it was supposed to be with little flourishes to make it more crowd pleasing, but nobody here seems to want to make it and it likely will please nobody.
The one thing I'll give Crimes of Grindelwald is that regardless of what it failed at, it felt like the movie everyone set out to make. Secrets of Dumbledore has promising aspects but follows a rather dumbshit storyline about a magic deer choosing the all-supreme wizard ruler or whatever which just seems like film filler because we know Gridelwald's fall doesn't happen until 1945 and he can't have any sort of strong storyline until World War II starts. Then I look at the stuff with Dumbledore, Abeforth, and Credence and the idea of the movie starts to click. That's the heart of the movie and I wanted more of that. The movie wasn't interested in it though. It was too depressing I guess. It felt the need to brush it aside so Newt could do his irrelevant Newt shit again.
But if Warner's ambition was to make sure nobody sheds a tear for Fantastic Beasts now that it's inevitably dead in the water, then mission accomplished.
|
|
Neverending
CS! Platinum
Join Date: Jul 2003
Posts: 65,788
Likes: 8,649
Location:
Last Online Nov 25, 2024 12:00:25 GMT -5
|
Post by Neverending on Apr 15, 2022 5:24:35 GMT -5
The one thing I'll give Crimes of Grindelwald is that regardless of what it failed at, it felt like the movie everyone set out to make. Secrets of Dumbledore has promising aspects but follows a rather dumbshit storyline about a magic deer choosing the all-supreme wizard ruler or whatever which just seems like film filler because we know Gridelwald's fall doesn't happen until 1945 and he can't have any sort of strong storyline until World War II starts. I didn’t bother to rewatch the other two, so forgive me if I’m mistaken, but in those movies it felt like Gridelwald had a much more ambitious scheme. But here, it turned into Phantom Menace and got Gridelwald invested in meaningless politics. Who gives a fuck if he steals an election? This is like Palpatine instigating a coup over taxes. I’m not here to watch Oliver Stone’s Harry Potter. |
|
1godzillafan
Studio Head
Join Date: Feb 2017
I like pie!
Posts: 9,480
Likes: 6,217
Location:
Last Online Nov 8, 2024 5:42:00 GMT -5
|
Post by 1godzillafan on Apr 15, 2022 6:55:30 GMT -5
The one thing I'll give Crimes of Grindelwald is that regardless of what it failed at, it felt like the movie everyone set out to make. Secrets of Dumbledore has promising aspects but follows a rather dumbshit storyline about a magic deer choosing the all-supreme wizard ruler or whatever which just seems like film filler because we know Gridelwald's fall doesn't happen until 1945 and he can't have any sort of strong storyline until World War II starts. I didn’t bother to rewatch the other two, so forgive me if I’m mistaken, but in those movies it felt like Gridelwald had a much more ambitious scheme. But here, it turned into Phantom Menace and got Gridelwald invested in meaningless politics. Who gives a fuck if he steals an election? This is like Palpatine instigating a coup over taxes. I’m not here to watch Oliver Stone’s Harry Potter. Grindelwald's only goal in the first movie was to find Credence, which he did disguised as Colin Ferrell. The second movie mostly involved him gaining followers...and also finding Credence again. He hasn't really displayed much of a plan until the magic dictator choosing deer. Probably the biggest arc flaw of the three movies is Queenie, because she joins Grindelwald because he promises to let her marry a Muggle then is shocked SHOCKED that the dark wizard who wants to kill Muggles won't allow marriage with Muggles and wants to kill them instead. What a fucking bimbo. Here's my big question though, in the end of this movie she and Jacob get married, no fuss no muss. But throughout the entirety of the last one it was constantly emphasized that they couldn't get married because it was illegal. As far as I can tell that was never changed in this movie, so they break the law anyway and render their entire relationship conflict pointless. |
|
Neverending
CS! Platinum
Join Date: Jul 2003
Posts: 65,788
Likes: 8,649
Location:
Last Online Nov 25, 2024 12:00:25 GMT -5
|
Post by Neverending on Apr 15, 2022 11:36:02 GMT -5
Grindelwald's only goal in the first movie was to find Credence, which he did disguised as Colin Ferrell. The second movie mostly involved him gaining followers...and also finding Credence again. He hasn't really displayed much of a plan until the magic dictator choosing deer. Wasn’t there a Nazi montage in the second one? The muggle rescued the deer. He can get the pussy. |
|
1godzillafan
Studio Head
Join Date: Feb 2017
I like pie!
Posts: 9,480
Likes: 6,217
Location:
Last Online Nov 8, 2024 5:42:00 GMT -5
|
Post by 1godzillafan on Apr 15, 2022 19:05:02 GMT -5
Grindelwald's only goal in the first movie was to find Credence, which he did disguised as Colin Ferrell. The second movie mostly involved him gaining followers...and also finding Credence again. He hasn't really displayed much of a plan until the magic dictator choosing deer. Wasn’t there a Nazi montage in the second one? Yeah that was the climactic "This is the future unless we squish the Muggles" speech. |
|
Neverending
CS! Platinum
Join Date: Jul 2003
Posts: 65,788
Likes: 8,649
Location:
Last Online Nov 25, 2024 12:00:25 GMT -5
|
Post by Neverending on Apr 15, 2022 23:05:58 GMT -5
Wasn’t there a Nazi montage in the second one? Yeah that was the climactic "This is the future unless we squish the Muggles" speech. He fought zero muggles in this one. |
|
1godzillafan
Studio Head
Join Date: Feb 2017
I like pie!
Posts: 9,480
Likes: 6,217
Location:
Last Online Nov 8, 2024 5:42:00 GMT -5
|
Post by 1godzillafan on Apr 15, 2022 23:53:20 GMT -5
Yeah that was the climactic "This is the future unless we squish the Muggles" speech. He fought zero muggles in this one. Credit where credit is due, he fetish choked Jacob. |
|
PhantomKnight
CS! Gold
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 20,530
Likes: 3,133
Location:
Last Online Nov 25, 2024 15:19:47 GMT -5
|
Post by PhantomKnight on Apr 16, 2022 16:20:35 GMT -5
It should be no secret what I thought about this movie.
|
|
Neverending
CS! Platinum
Join Date: Jul 2003
Posts: 65,788
Likes: 8,649
Location:
Last Online Nov 25, 2024 12:00:25 GMT -5
|
Post by Neverending on Apr 16, 2022 20:53:33 GMT -5
It should be no secret what I thought about this movie. You thought it was shit too?? |
|
PhantomKnight
CS! Gold
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 20,530
Likes: 3,133
Location:
Last Online Nov 25, 2024 15:19:47 GMT -5
|
Post by PhantomKnight on Apr 16, 2022 22:41:43 GMT -5
It should be no secret what I thought about this movie. You thought it was shit too?? Hahahaha. No. |
|
PG Cooper
CS! Silver
Join Date: Feb 2009
And those who tasted the bite of his sword named him...The DOOM Slayer
Posts: 16,649
Likes: 4,066
Location:
Last Online Nov 25, 2024 11:13:25 GMT -5
|
Post by PG Cooper on Apr 17, 2022 9:09:10 GMT -5
You thought it was shit too?? Hahahaha. No. What would it take for you to dislike a movie in this franchise? |
|
PhantomKnight
CS! Gold
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 20,530
Likes: 3,133
Location:
Last Online Nov 25, 2024 15:19:47 GMT -5
|
Post by PhantomKnight on Apr 17, 2022 13:21:42 GMT -5
What would it take for you to dislike a movie in this franchise? A helluva lot.
Seriously, honestly -- I legit like these movies. No bullshit. Even the weakest of this series, Crimes of Grindelwald, I can acknowledge some of the criticisms like Queenie's rushed arc and an overstuffed plot that doesn't have much of an ending, but even then there's still enough there that genuinely interests me and holds my attention. I think part of it is I like seeing stories in this universe that are driven by adult characters rather than kids/teens, as it serves to offer a different tone/feel than the HP movies proper. We get a different perspective on the Wizarding World and see characters who are capable/in control of their magic navigating these plots. That, and the stories/characters legitimately interest me.
I'm still solidifying my thoughts on this one, but something that stood out to me as an improvement: if they inexplicably insist on making a magizoologist one of the main centerpieces of these movies, then this one at least made an effort to craft a plot that made his inclusion make at least a little more sense. Grindelwald's plot to steal a Wizarding election in this requires him to get a hold of a specific magical creature that can show the future. Circumstances lead to there being a twin of said creature, requiring Grindelwald to need to get the other, so Newt being a part of the resistance effort this time around is given a better explanation here, as opposed to the last one. But beyond that, I like the fact that this one makes Dumbledore more the driving force of the plot, because that leads to a more intriguing story. In all honesty, Jude Law's Dumbledore should've been the focus of this series from the get-go, and this movie proves that. Also, that Mads Mikkelsen should've been Grindelwald to begin with. Both he and Law of course crush it.
What would it take for me to dislike a Potter franchise movie? Well, if they were ever to adapt The Cursed Child... That thing reeked of second-rate fanfiction that was somehow given legitimacy. But even with this franchise's faults, these Fantastic Beasts movies have offered enough interesting and entertaining qualities for me to say that I like them. I wouldn't die on the hill for them, but I do think all the vitriol has been blown a bit out of proportion. That said, I'll be shocked if they make any more of these. But neither will I lose any sleep over this series dying.
But, hey, WB -- if you're in the market for new ideas related to the Potter IP...I'm available.
|
|
IanTheCool
CS! Gold
Join Date: Jul 2003
Posts: 21,496
Likes: 2,864
Location:
Last Online Nov 25, 2024 7:41:09 GMT -5
|
Post by IanTheCool on Apr 17, 2022 13:54:19 GMT -5
The real question is how much baby-killing was there in this one?
|
|
PhantomKnight
CS! Gold
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 20,530
Likes: 3,133
Location:
Last Online Nov 25, 2024 15:19:47 GMT -5
|
Post by PhantomKnight on Apr 17, 2022 14:27:03 GMT -5
The real question is how much baby-killing was there in this one? Well, actually...
Human babies? None.
|
|
Dracula
CS! Gold
Join Date: Sep 2002
Posts: 26,105
Likes: 5,732
Location:
Member is Online
|
Post by Dracula on Jun 5, 2022 15:08:39 GMT -5
Fantastic Beasts: The Secret of Dumbledore(5/30/2022)
There were a lot of complaints people had about the Star Wars prequels, but one that I never really understood was the complaint that there was too much of a focus on intergalactic politics in the movies. To me the Star Wars universe was so deeply interesting that a deeper dive into its inner workings was entirely welcome and it didn’t compute to me that the rather mild focus on trade federation blockades and galactic senate hearings would be alienating. Well, after two straight movies centered around the political structure of the “wizarding world” I think I understand how those movies felt to people who were just mildly interested in Star Wars because holy shit do I not care about the electoral process of the Harry Potter universe. Truth be told I’ve never been terribly comfortable talking about these “Fantastic Beasts” movies because I’m not entirely sure I’ve ever given them a fair shake: I’ve mostly watched them casually at home and by about midway through the second one I’d completely lost the plot. On the other hand, the fact that these movies didn’t carry my interest enough to make me care about them is still kind of on them. I don’t have a ton of insights into this particular installment beyond saying that it’s slightly better than the last one, mainly because Mads Mikkelsen and Dumbledore (a character people actually care about) has a bigger role here but it’s also a tedious and dully constructed movie whose plot seems to revolve around a Wizard election whose outcome apparently hinges on what candidate a magical deer endorses. Its nonsense.
If Warner Brothers wants a chance of getting people back into this franchise here are some suggestions. Get rid of Newt Scamander and most of the rest of the cast of this prequel franchise. They’re bad characters that no one connected to and they basically get a decent enough resolution to their own character arcs here that no one will miss them when they’re gone. For that matter don’t name any future installments “Fantastic Beasts” as that whole brand is not an indicator of quality. Instead make Dumbledore the protagonist going after Grindelwald and his Henchmen with Hogwarts as his base of operations. Yes this is kind of an uncreative “back to the well” approach, but trying new things clearly hasn’t worked and it’s probably time to go back to basics. Also, for the love of god fire this David Yates guy. He’s completely failed to bring momentum of identity to these screenplays up to this point and the series desperately needs new eyes if it wants a chance at revival.
** out of Five
|
|
