Dracula
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Post by Dracula on Jul 10, 2021 12:31:57 GMT -5
Doomsday has asked me to watch Geostorm a movie that Neverending has led me to believe Dooms had an outsized creative influence over and is extremely proud of and wants everyone to see. I was somewhat skeptical of the movie when it came out in 2017 but feel like it's about time I caught up with it in order to be a good citizen of the boards.
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Dracula
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Post by Dracula on Jul 10, 2021 12:32:37 GMT -5
HBO Max is playing a trailer of No Sudden Moves before the movie, I should probably be using my time to watch that but...
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Post by Dracula on Jul 10, 2021 12:35:48 GMT -5
Looks like they are using Climate Change to explain all of this. Apparantly they're saying extreme weather will start destroying things in... 2019... really gave themselves all of two years to stave off becoming dated.
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Post by Dracula on Jul 10, 2021 12:39:46 GMT -5
For background, this was directed by Dean Develin, a producer who was the Jerry Bruckheimer to Roland Emmerich's Michael Bay. The two appear to have had a falling out in the 2000s and Emmerich went on to make movies like The Day After Tomorrow and 2012 without him. This was his directorial debut in what I can only assume was a failed attempt to prove that Emmerich needed him more than he needed Emmerich.
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Post by Dracula on Jul 10, 2021 12:41:52 GMT -5
The movie is opening with a senate hearing where Gerard Butler tries to prove he isn't an untrustworthy renegade by defiantly shouting at the committee chair.
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Post by Dracula on Jul 10, 2021 12:43:28 GMT -5
Okay, now we're in Afghanistan (the movie has Emmerich-style location title cards and everything). God damn is that an extreme color filter, place is just covered in orange.
And now they're walking up to Taliban looking bearded guys who are frozen solid. Tasteful.
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Post by Dracula on Jul 10, 2021 12:48:17 GMT -5
Looks like we're going with Andy Garcia as out fake president, Richard Schiff as the dumb politician, and Ed Harris as the stern advisor type.
Jim Sturgess is showing up as a secondary protagonist... this is an actor that Hollywood was trying to make "a thing" in the late 2000s and had already pretty much been written off when this was made. I can see why he never took off, dude looks like a cast member from a CW show that went on too long and he's still pretending to be a teenager well into his 30s.
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Post by frankyt on Jul 10, 2021 12:49:59 GMT -5
Dutch boy!
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Post by Dracula on Jul 10, 2021 12:50:39 GMT -5
I should probably note that I did try watching this thing once before when I was on an airplane but balked when I noticed it was cropped to 1.78:1 from its original aspect ratio of 2.35:1. Even at high altitudes, my principles around aspect ratios held firm. I was worried that HBO Max would have the same problem but it seems that network is finally getting its act together about how they present movies.
Why the hell did that guy just get sucked out of an airlock?
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Post by Dracula on Jul 10, 2021 12:55:52 GMT -5
It remains to be seen exactly which disasters this is going to be dealing with but I should question, isn't this movie's title kind of inaccurate? "Geo" is Greek for "earth" in the sense of rock or land and Geology refers to tectonic plates and the like, so unless this is mostly about earthquakes this probably shouldn't be called that. "Dutch Boy" mostly seems to pertain to weather and atmosphere, so shouldn't this be called meteorostorm, as in meteorology?
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Post by Dracula on Jul 10, 2021 12:58:13 GMT -5
Okay, as I said that a bunch of explosions' started bursting from the ground as if a volcano was erupting in Hong Kong. I'm not really sure who atmospheric gadgets being shot by a satellite would cause that.
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Post by Dracula on Jul 10, 2021 13:00:40 GMT -5
Gerard Butler is now ensuring his precocious daughter that everything is going to be okay as he leaves to fix Dutch Boy. I certainly hope she doesn't get placed in any danger later to up the stakes for her father to save the day.
"I want you to come back alive, and you're not exactly the reliable type" - Gerard Butler's daughter
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Post by IanTheCool on Jul 10, 2021 13:01:44 GMT -5
Looks like they are using Climate Change to explain all of this. Apparantly they're saying extreme weather will start destroying things in... 2019... really gave themselves all of two years to stave off becoming dated. But then again... |
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Post by Dracula on Jul 10, 2021 13:03:47 GMT -5
It looks like NASA got their shuttle program back on track to make all of this work, sorry SpaceX. The rocket has the flags of multiple countries all over it and they take great pains to show Dutch Boy as run by an international crew, which was probably smart given that this movie made 84% of its box office gross overseas.
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Post by Dracula on Jul 10, 2021 13:06:42 GMT -5
They've just explained that the Lawson's were both born in the UK but live in America, which I think was meant to explain Gerard Butler's highly questionable accent here but it kind of doesn't. I remember him sounding better in Olympus Has Fallen so I'm not really sure why he's sounding this ridiculous here.
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Post by Dracula on Jul 10, 2021 13:17:26 GMT -5
Gerard Butler is still overtly saying that he's going to disobey orders, I'm really not sure why they're trusting this guy. Butler is just really miscast in this, he doesn't even seem a little bit like a scientist. I also have no clue why the government is relying on this Jim Sturgess guy, who looks too young to be in any kind of trusted position and his relation to Butler's character is plainly a conflict of interest.
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Post by Dracula on Jul 10, 2021 13:26:03 GMT -5
Just got through this action scene on the space station which is like someone came up with it after watching Gravity while taking a lot of cocaine. Kind of feels like it was inserted into the movie when they realized things were getting kind of boring. The effects in it were kind of bad and anyone involved in their creation should feel bad.
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Post by Dracula on Jul 10, 2021 13:28:17 GMT -5
Not really sure how that video code where Butler said certain words at exact time codes was supposed to work... like if he'd been interrupted once during that story his timings would have been completely off.
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Post by Doomsday on Jul 10, 2021 13:30:49 GMT -5
Why the hell did that guy just get sucked out of an airlock? The best part is that he stood there for a good 4 seconds before being sucked out. |
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Post by Dracula on Jul 10, 2021 13:32:15 GMT -5
Why does this French astronaut have a gun in space? Why is everyone not even a little perplexed by this?
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Post by Dracula on Jul 10, 2021 13:34:25 GMT -5
I'm past the halfway point in this and there hasn't been a single geostorm aside from that bit in Hong Kong. Say what you will about Roland Emmerich but he usually delivers the goods faster.
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Post by Dracula on Jul 10, 2021 13:38:58 GMT -5
Okay, we're getting this show on the road, hail storm in Tokyo.
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Post by Dracula on Jul 10, 2021 13:39:46 GMT -5
Ice storm in rio
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Post by Dracula on Jul 10, 2021 13:43:07 GMT -5
So if I'm following this correctly, the president is trying to sabotage Dutch Boy so that the international crew that's supposed to be taking overtakes the fall and America retains autonomous control over the system... seems a bit over-elaborate. Does the president really need a full-on worldwide geostorm to make that happen? Wouldn't one major storm caused by Dutch Boy accomplish that?
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Post by Doomsday on Jul 10, 2021 13:44:17 GMT -5
In case you weren’t aware, Devlin was fired quickly after shooting. It went through months of post basically director-less at the hands of Jerry Bruckheimer before they reshot something like 60 pages of the damn thing. So what you’re watching now is the cut that was deemed less shitty than what they originally had.
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