Neverending
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Post by Neverending on Mar 16, 2018 0:37:37 GMT -5
 PG Cooper just released a 300 hour video essay on the making of Citizen Kane. He centered his thesis on how Orson Welles used the help of his crew to make his masterpiece. What's even more impressive is Simon West making a German tax-free Tomb Raider with no script. You can toss a script at my face. I won't believe it. Fake news. Here's what happened. Simon West went to the wardrobe department and said, "look, I've cast Angelina Jolie as Tomb Raider. She has a healthy C-cup but I need D's. See what you can do." Then he strolls into the hair & make-up department and said, "Angelina Jolie? Great breasts. But have you seen her face? She looks like Jon Voight. Just awful. See what you can do." Then he walks over to the sets department and said, "I need Angelina Jolie to bounce her breasts somewhere that's ancient looking. See what you can do." Finally, he makes a trip to the effects department and said, "guys, I don't know why, but I think we need a robot. Get me a robot." On the day of shooting, Simon West gathers his cast and crew, which inexplicably includes James Bond actor Daniel Craig, and says, "have you guys ever played cowboys & indians or cops & robbers? Well... just do that and we'll capture it on film. Don't worry about acting or storytelling. We'll make it work in post." And that's the story of how Tomb Raider was made. Like with Citizen Kane, it proves that you can't make a movie alone. BUT - you can make one without a script and laugh all the way to the bank. Ain't that right, Doomsday? Oh... |
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Deexan
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Post by Deexan on Mar 16, 2018 0:54:26 GMT -5
It's almost as if i was there.
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Neverending
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Post by Neverending on Mar 16, 2018 1:42:00 GMT -5
It's almost as if i was there. This isn’t you?  |
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Neverending
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Post by Neverending on Mar 16, 2018 22:25:31 GMT -5
Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life (2003) So THIS is what it looks like when Tomb Raider has a plot. Sort of. There’s an outline of events but that doesn’t necessarily mean there’s a story and character development. Still more than what we got from its predecessor. At least this feels like an actual movie and not softcore fetish porn. Angelina Jolie ditches Daniel Craig for Doomsday favorite Gerard Butler and together they go off on an adventure to stop bioterrorists from stealing an ancient virus locked away in a temple. It’s the same exact plot from the Alicia Vikander reboot. We’re only three installments into this franchise and they’re already reusing plotlines. Not even James Bond is this ridiculous. This marked the last movie directed by Jan de Bont, of Speed 2 fame, and it’s the second-to-last movie co-written by Steven E. de Souza of Street Fighter fame. So that’s the caliber of entertainment you’re getting here. It’s better than the original and certainly more entertaining than the Alicia Vikander reboot but that’s not saying a lot. We’re still waiting for a legitimately good Tomb Raider movie, which shouldn’t be difficult to do, it’s just Indiana Jones with boobs. Cmon, Hollywood. It’s not rocket science. You’re making Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull look good right now.
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Deexan
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Post by Deexan on Mar 17, 2018 2:30:18 GMT -5
Bewbs.
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PhantomKnight
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Post by PhantomKnight on Mar 17, 2018 12:02:38 GMT -5
The Angelina Jolie movies are by no means works of art, but at least they're entertaining.
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Neverending
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Post by Neverending on Mar 17, 2018 16:55:22 GMT -5
The Angelina Jolie movies are by no means works of art, but at least they're entertaining. You drunk. |
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Deexan
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Post by Deexan on Mar 18, 2018 1:12:44 GMT -5
The Angelina Jolie movies are by no means works of art, but at least they're entertaining. You've never lived. |
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Neverending
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Post by Neverending on Mar 18, 2018 1:29:56 GMT -5
The Angelina Jolie movies are by no means works of art, but at least they're entertaining. You've never lived. Those midnight book releases for Harry Potter were a riot. |
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Ramplate
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHA Hamster
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Post by Ramplate on Mar 18, 2018 7:27:08 GMT -5
I liked those movies. First was better, but they're not bad.
And Jolie doesn't look like Voight lmao
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PhantomKnight
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Post by PhantomKnight on Mar 18, 2018 16:50:46 GMT -5
Those midnight book releases for Harry Potter were a riot. They were indeed.  |
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