Deexan
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Post by Deexan on Jan 14, 2018 12:41:02 GMT -5
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FShuttari
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Post by FShuttari on Jan 14, 2018 13:21:30 GMT -5
I think the main problem with these celebreties is they are used to so many girls jumping them cuz there famous they don't even know when a girl is not interested in taking it too far, there basically playing the same game they did, with all the interactions with other girls who are sluts.
Maybe it's time these celebrities, sit down and talk about "Hey some girls might like us, or want to talk to us cuz were famous, and are not interested in sleeping with us" thats really what needs to come down too.
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daniel
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Post by daniel on Jan 14, 2018 17:52:52 GMT -5
The date read like a total horror story and made me immediately scrape my brain to try and recall if I've ever not picked up on cues in an intimate situation. It was that alarming.
I'm a huge Aziz fan, bought front row tickets to his shows, bought (and didn't read) his book, listened to all his specials, watched every TV show he's been in, so this has been the most disappointing announcement of them all for me.
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Neverending
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Post by Neverending on Jan 14, 2018 18:58:27 GMT -5
Childish Gambino can’t be far.
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thebtskink
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Post by thebtskink on Jan 14, 2018 20:50:24 GMT -5
The date read like a total horror story and made me immediately scrape my brain to try and recall if I've ever not picked up on cues in an intimate situation. It was that alarming. You're not the only one. Eye opening times.
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FShuttari
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Post by FShuttari on Jan 14, 2018 22:31:33 GMT -5
Cues mean things to different people though. There are so many parts where I'm lost with how things went down. I don't think her letting him go down on her and then her going down on him is a cue she's not enjoying herself or a polite cue to stop. Feeling uncomfortable how quickly things escalated but going with it isn't a polite cue. I'm not sure how many guys (or girls) would think so. When he went to go get a condom she said, "let's chill for a sec" - not "I'm not interested in having sex tonight." On face value "let me chill for a sec" means "let me chill for a sec" and more closely means or translates to "let me catch my breath for a sec."
Real world talk, if he had just gone down on her, he could have easily thought "she just came, she might need to chill." A lot of women need a few moments after orgasming.
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FShuttari
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Post by FShuttari on Jan 14, 2018 22:31:54 GMT -5
I don't get the feeling she ever thought she was in danger or couldn't leave. Like, if you feel that uncomfortable (and feel your safety is in check )- leave. Don't keep making out with him. - he flat out said "it's only fun if both people are having fun" and then she went down on him AGAIN!
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Sculder
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Post by Sculder on Jan 15, 2018 3:57:15 GMT -5
I don't know how anyone could interpret that as anything but NO. Her story is weird. Did she have medical condition that prevented saying NO and leaving when she felt she didn't like how things were going?
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FShuttari
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Post by FShuttari on Jan 15, 2018 13:01:25 GMT -5
Her communication skills are way off, and even Ansari texted her he thanked her for a good time and per camera stuff. He was confused as hell but still apologized. The story is weird... I can't even blame him for thinking this, he would have backed off if he didn't think she was into it... Obviously
#MeToo needs to make a huge difference in what is actually sexual assult and rape, rather than "Oh crap, I wasn't really into it, but I went on a date with him/her and did'nt say no"
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thebtskink
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Post by thebtskink on Jan 15, 2018 15:38:39 GMT -5
Two words, fshuttari: power dynamics.
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Neverending
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Post by Neverending on Jan 15, 2018 16:08:38 GMT -5
Two words, fshuttari: power dynamics.
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daniel
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Post by daniel on Jan 15, 2018 17:02:43 GMT -5
When I read the story of the date, it has brought to mind many moments where paying attention to the girl caused me to stop and ask if everything was alright. I don't think non-verbal cues are tough to read at all in that situation, and I suck at reading them a lot in other situations.
I think Aziz texting her afterwards was him being polite at best, and trying to feign ignorance at her non-verbal protests at worst. Whatever the case, I would think that if someone as bad at reading signals can be aware of how things are going in a make out session, then Aziz should be expert level.
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Deexan
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Post by Deexan on Jan 15, 2018 17:41:32 GMT -5
She told him she was uncomfortable and used the word "forced". He had more than enough verbal reasons to stop.
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FShuttari
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Post by FShuttari on Jan 15, 2018 22:46:42 GMT -5
I liked the comment on this opinion that said basically: Aziz is guilty of being a bad lover. If he would have been more in-tune with this woman's emotions during the foreplay they both might have had a good time. Instead, he moved at a pace she wasn't comfortable with and the night was ruined. It's honestly a good lesson for anyone.
Dont get me wrong, Grace is a bad lover in this case too. In cases of silence, the check always falls on the guy's side of the table. Why is it totally Aziz's responsibility to make this girl feel good despite her saying nothing about her feelings and continuing to go with it? Men don't get asked what feels good, don't get gently and gradually aroused, as a matter of course, either. They just have to do it as an assumption. You have to ask for what you want when you want it if you're not just going to go with the flow.
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FShuttari
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Post by FShuttari on Jan 15, 2018 22:48:51 GMT -5
Congrats Grace! You had a bad date and a bad sexual experience where you and the guy didn't connect... It should have been the end of it! But no now you wrote out your experience, for the entire world to see how bad your communication skills are! Not to mention you made Aziz look bad, but it back fired.
Not to mention she's a bit of an asshole for going to a party with one guy and ditching him to pursue another.
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Deexan
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Post by Deexan on Jan 16, 2018 2:04:54 GMT -5
Are you Aziz's dad?
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Neverending
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Post by Neverending on Jan 16, 2018 19:15:29 GMT -5
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daniel
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Post by daniel on Jan 16, 2018 20:39:14 GMT -5
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Neverending
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Post by Neverending on Jan 16, 2018 20:52:50 GMT -5
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FShuttari
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Post by FShuttari on Jan 17, 2018 1:24:10 GMT -5
If you break down the entire ordeal, it was a bad date. Ansari and her didn't connect. Zero Chemistry. She should have bounced, I guarantee you if Ansari wasn't famous she would have ditched him but she had to try and make it work cuz hes a famous dude. She wants her 15 mins of fame... I agree with the CNN lady and the NYT and Washington Post, Ansari and her had a bad date... move along.
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Seakazoo
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Post by Seakazoo on Jan 17, 2018 9:24:33 GMT -5
I saw it put best the other day as "Aziz is guilt of not being a mind reader". This is not sexual assault. This is a regrettable sexual encounter. Every woman I know has a regrettable encounter, it does not equal assault. It's dangerous as hell to start convincing women that this is rape. You know that statistic that 1 in 4 women is gong to get raped at some point in their life? If we start to consider a bad date as rape that statistic is going to skyrocket to 100% of women have been raped and or assaulted in their life. Bullshit like this takes away from women who have actually suffered.
It's too easy to ruin someone's reputation based on a rumor. Thankfully enough people have seen through "Grace's" bullshit. She hid behind a pseudonym in order to drag out every dirty detail of a bad date to humiliate Aziz. She took the time in a story about being assaulted to whine about the fact that he served white wine instead of red. This coupled with the fact that she ditched her date to hit up Aziz should tell you about the kind of person that she is. She wanted to be romanced by someone rich and famous. When she found out that he just wanted to hook up she got pissy about it (after the fact) and put out this ridiculous story.
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frankyt
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Post by frankyt on Jan 17, 2018 14:48:12 GMT -5
The girl sounds kind sheltered if this is the worst thing to happen to her in life. I get it was uncomfortable, most relationships and weird hook ups are around that age.
Certainly irresponsible of the website to publish this account though. Aziz is still cool in my book.
Just sucks because a lot of people won't read the details since there are just so many allegations now, it's too hard to vet everyone's stories.
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FShuttari
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Post by FShuttari on Jan 17, 2018 15:53:43 GMT -5
Honestly I don't think I've read through all the ordeals myself. The ones that I like and follow were the ones I looked out for. Louise and Franco were the ones I follow so I read through those alligations and of course Aziz.
Francos has been shutdown and there is no more progress on that one and his career is fine. Aziz is the only one that pissed me off, cuz its bullshit.
Louise will be back in a year, after it dies down.
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daniel
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Post by daniel on Jan 17, 2018 19:57:37 GMT -5
I don't think it was assault, but I had a hard time reconciling him bending her over, thrusting his pelvis into her ass, and asking her if that's where she wanted him to fuck her. Super creepy. I guess if he is just being accused of being creepy, I agree. Assault? No. But I do think it has a place in the #MeToo conversation in that it helps us better paint and define what consent looks like, it spreads awareness. I think stories like that are fine to share, it gives us a topic to discuss as a people and come together to mostly agree on certain topics and viewpoints. As a sexual assault victim, I hate that people throw that out there like it's some license to have your opinion elevated above other people's. You can refer to it to say "I went through this and I have this perspective," but the minute you use it to be dismissive and condescending, you're just an asshole. We need to spend more time listening to one another, and not just shooting down everything we don't agree with. I say that as someone who is very guilty of that, and has been very stubborn and not wanted to listen to a number of things a number of times.
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Fanible
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Post by Fanible on Jan 18, 2018 0:40:57 GMT -5
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