Neverending
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Post by Neverending on Jul 2, 2017 5:07:20 GMT -5
Before Andy Serkis there was Marky Mark.
Let's sit through this travesty.
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Neverending
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Post by Neverending on Jul 2, 2017 5:11:44 GMT -5
I love the opening credits.
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Neverending
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Post by Neverending on Jul 2, 2017 5:14:14 GMT -5
The half eaten donut spaceship from Phantom Menace. The fuck is it doing in this movie?
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Neverending
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Post by Neverending on Jul 2, 2017 5:27:03 GMT -5
Estella Warren! I used to jerk off to her. Is she still alive?
Anyway, so Marky Mark is part of some research ship that has a bunch of monkeys on board to run experiments. A chimp goes missing during an electrical storm and Marky Mark goes looking for him. Shit happens and he ends up in the planet of the apes.
Back to Estella Warren.
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Neverending
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Post by Neverending on Jul 2, 2017 5:30:39 GMT -5
Is that Michael Jackson?!
No.
Wait.
Helena Bonham Carter in monkey make up.
The Rick Baker make up is fucking great. Did he win an Oscar for this ? He should have. Sets are great too. And the world building .
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Neverending
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Post by Neverending on Jul 2, 2017 5:33:39 GMT -5
Tim Roth is awesome . Did he win an Oscar for this? He should have.
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Neverending
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Post by Neverending on Jul 2, 2017 5:36:46 GMT -5
Paul Giamatti is hilarious. Did he win an Oscar for this?
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Neverending
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Post by Neverending on Jul 2, 2017 5:38:37 GMT -5
Marky Mark has one facial expression.
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Neverending
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Post by Neverending on Jul 2, 2017 5:41:10 GMT -5
Is that Otto from Beetlejuice as the fat monkey?
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Post by Neverending on Jul 2, 2017 5:43:10 GMT -5
The Michael Clarke Duncan monkey totally eye fucked with that other Black monkey.
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Post by Neverending on Jul 2, 2017 5:48:30 GMT -5
Why are the humans... humans? In the original they were animals. It was a role reversal. Here it's like... how are the monkeys a threat if the humans still retain their intelligence?
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Neverending
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Post by Neverending on Jul 2, 2017 5:58:11 GMT -5
How did Mark Wahlberg end up in this movie? He's just awful.
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Dracula
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Post by Dracula on Jul 2, 2017 7:16:43 GMT -5
Is that Michael Jackson?! No. Wait. Helena Bonham Carter in monkey make up. The Rick Baker make up is fucking great. Did he win an Oscar for this ? He should have. Sets are great too. And the world building . Tim Roth is awesome . Did he win an Oscar for this? He should have. Paul Giamatti is hilarious. Did he win an Oscar for this? The movie was not nominated for a single Oscar for anything. The makeup people were robbed. |
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Post by Wyldstaar on Jul 2, 2017 7:46:40 GMT -5
LOTR: Fellowship of the Ring came out in 2001 as well, and it won. Planet of the Apes didn't even get nominated for best best make-up by the Academy. It did get nominated for best make-up by the BAFTAs, but LOTR won that as well.
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Post by Neverending on Jul 2, 2017 13:34:28 GMT -5
LOTR: Fellowship of the Ring came out in 2001 as well, and it won. Planet of the Apes didn't even get nominated for best best make-up by the Academy. It did get nominated for best make-up by the BAFTAs, but LOTR won that as well.  |
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Neverending
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Post by Neverending on Jul 2, 2017 18:29:03 GMT -5
I fell asleep watching this.
Let's wrap this up.
Where was I?
Something about Marky Mark being boring.
Rewinding...
There ya go.
Marky Mark escaped from Tim Roth.
Charleston Heston has a cameo.
Michael Clarke Duncan is religious.
Is there a plot to this movie?
Will Marky Mark learn how to act?
Why is he bonding with the monkey lady when Estella Warren and her lips are right there?
We caught up now.
Live blog continues...
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Neverending
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Post by Neverending on Jul 2, 2017 18:33:07 GMT -5
Marky Mark finds his ship. It's an old ruin now. Apparently he time traveled during the electrical storm.
If you haven't seen this movie or did and forgot the plot, Marky Mark took a pod to look for his monkey. The main ship crashed at some point and the monkies onboard escaped and somehow started the planet of the apes.
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Neverending
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Post by Neverending on Jul 2, 2017 18:36:10 GMT -5
Marky Mark is now leading an army of humans.
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Post by Neverending on Jul 2, 2017 18:44:56 GMT -5
In a movie filled with great actors delivering great performances, who the fuck decided to put Marky Mark at the center of it? He single handily ruins the whole fucking movie.
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Neverending
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Post by Neverending on Jul 2, 2017 18:50:26 GMT -5
An army of humans versus an army of apes. This is the type of schlock you won't see in the new movie.
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Dracula
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Post by Dracula on Jul 2, 2017 19:04:51 GMT -5
In a movie filled with great actors delivering great performances, who the fuck decided to put Marky Mark at the center of it? He single handily ruins the whole fucking movie. Whalberg is the least of this movie's problems. The script is the problem. |
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Post by Neverending on Jul 2, 2017 19:11:06 GMT -5
Everyone hated the ending of this movie when it came out but I think it's the best part of the movie. I would have watched a sequel if they had made one.
Anyway, shitty movie. There's LOTS of great stuff in it but Marky Mark is awful and the plot is nonsensical.
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Post by Neverending on Jul 2, 2017 19:15:02 GMT -5
In a movie filled with great actors delivering great performances, who the fuck decided to put Marky Mark at the center of it? He single handily ruins the whole fucking movie. Whalberg is the least of this movie's problems. The script is the problem. Yeah, the story is confusing. Not sure what this planet of the apes is supposed to be, earth not earth. Not sure how apes took over. Not sure how humans ended up being such pussies. Ending, as hilarious as it is, is just dumb. |
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Deexan
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Post by Deexan on Jul 2, 2017 21:51:43 GMT -5
FRANCO
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Neverending
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Post by Neverending on Jul 2, 2017 22:17:47 GMT -5
If Tim Burton were George Lucas he'd digitally replace Mark Wahlberg with James Franco and tie in the movie with the new ones. |
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