daniel
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Post by daniel on May 14, 2017 15:12:26 GMT -5
I met up with a girl from Tinder at Starbucks and after hitting it off with some meet and greet conversation we decided to go see this movie at the multiplex right down the road. I must have charmed her because she spent most of the runtime fondling my penis. Not a full-on, hand wrapped around the shaft, vigorous hand jibber; just a gentle, consistent stroking over my pants. Even if this pleasure were included in the ticket price for everyone who went to see King Arthur: Legend of the Sword, I would still not recommend this film to any of you. This movie is the equivalent of huffing keyboard duster. Yeah there's a bit of a high, but it's a cheap, empty, dirty one and after it's over you'll have a headache and wonder why you just spent money to voluntarily damage your brain.
Not my review
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Neverending
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Post by Neverending on May 14, 2017 19:22:14 GMT -5
Now that Doomsday is married, these are the type of reviews he needs to read. |
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FShuttari
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Post by FShuttari on May 14, 2017 19:35:04 GMT -5
daniel You win the "best review I've ever read"
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Deexan
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Post by Deexan on May 14, 2017 20:17:09 GMT -5
You should refer to your dick as Excalibur from now on.
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Neverending
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Post by Neverending on May 14, 2017 20:34:23 GMT -5
You should refer to your dick as Excalibur from now on. That's what his date called her dick. |
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Jibbs
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Post by Jibbs on May 14, 2017 23:14:38 GMT -5
daniel You win the "best review I've ever read" And you've read a lot. |
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FShuttari
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Post by FShuttari on May 19, 2017 10:52:16 GMT -5
So this was nothing like the King Arthur I knew.
I would call this a re-imagining guy ritchie style.
So was it good? I'm not sure depends if you like guy Ritchie's style of movie making. I really enjoyed man from uncle and Sherlock Holmes.
He has a very energetic tone to his films and his humor works for me.
So I was entertained throughly. But it was not faithful to anything King Arthur
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Neverending
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Post by Neverending on May 19, 2017 15:49:16 GMT -5
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PhantomKnight
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Post by PhantomKnight on May 25, 2017 18:21:57 GMT -5
I have no interest.
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Neverending
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Post by Neverending on May 25, 2017 19:14:29 GMT -5
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PhantomKnight
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Post by PhantomKnight on May 25, 2017 19:42:08 GMT -5
Love Sherlock Holmes, really like A Game of Shadows, enjoy Man From U.N.C.L.E., but King Arthur isn't something that needs the Ritchie style. For that matter, neither is Aladdin. IF I ever see this, it'll be cause I'm bored.
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Neverending
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Post by Neverending on May 25, 2017 19:43:38 GMT -5
Love Sherlock Holmes, really like A Game of Shadows, enjoy Man From U.N.C.L.E., but King Arthur isn't something that needs the Ritchie style. For that matter, neither is Aladdin. IF I ever see this, it'll be cause I'm bored. Bull. Shit. |
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PhantomKnight
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Post by PhantomKnight on May 25, 2017 20:03:10 GMT -5
I'd rather see Baywatch.
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Neverending
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Post by Neverending on May 25, 2017 20:20:10 GMT -5
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PhantomKnight
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Post by PhantomKnight on May 25, 2017 20:35:03 GMT -5
Funny thing is, I'm actually kinda serious.
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frankyt
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Post by frankyt on Aug 9, 2017 8:06:28 GMT -5
I dug it. Didn't like the all cgi fight scenes but I mean guy Ritchie kills a montage and there are a bunch in this flick.
Enjoyed the reimagining of the tale a lot more than I thought I would.
7/10
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FShuttari
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Post by FShuttari on Aug 14, 2017 5:41:40 GMT -5
Pretty much what frankyt said. This was a decent film, if you want to actually look at bad movies this summer look up "The Dark Tower" and "Transformers" Yes I also enjoyed this more than I did "Dunkirk" This movie and Valerian did not deserve the B.O. failure they are. |
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PhantomKnight
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Post by PhantomKnight on Nov 15, 2017 16:17:03 GMT -5
NeverendingI caved and rented this from Netflix and oof, what a stinker. Hands down the worst movie I've seen all year, and I also saw both The Mummy and The Dark Tower. Not ten or fifteen minutes in and I was having none of it. This movie feels like it was edited by a blender. The Sherlock Holmes movies worked because there was an even balance between Sherlockian elements and Guy Ritchie's style. Here, his style pervades everything and it's fucking annoying. Guy Ritchie and King Arthur are two things that just don't go together. At all.
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frankyt
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Post by frankyt on Dec 1, 2017 10:59:11 GMT -5
Watched this again with someone who loves the Arthur tale, and fuck. Still enjoyed it.
Cool reboot to a tired story. Would def have seen the sequels.
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frankyt
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Post by frankyt on Jan 17, 2018 14:45:20 GMT -5
So was on a plane this weekend and was tired of reading my book... Scanning the titles what do I find? This fucking gem. Thanks Delta.
Still so solid. I don't understand the backlash to it, it certainly doesn't do things bad enough to warrant negative reviews. I can understand middling and 'meh's but honestly this movie was brilliant.
I'm sad we won't get the Lancelot sequel it deserved.
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