Double Feature

Dr. Parnases fucked over Heath Ledger.

Kubrick ending on Eyes Wide Shit feels fitting.

Thor being involved was weird.

¡Blasfemo!

What's really funny about those two movies is that they got the same guy to play Biggie in All Eyez on Me. The dude was already a little too old for the part in 2009 and he was way too old in 2017. Quality-wise I think both movies are decidedly average but I agree that AEOM is better than it was given credit for. It has something like 15% on Rotten Tomatoes, which doesn't make sense to me given that there's a really solid performance at the center and which does about as well as a mainstream film is going to in covering all those details about the man's life.

McQ

The thought of John Wayne desperately trying to stay relevant in the mid-70s and shamelessly ripping off Dirty Harry sounded interesting enough, hence why I threw McQ on my PVR. But shockingly, I the film was actually better than I expected. Which is to say, it was a mostly average 70s crime film. "Mostly average" is not exactly a ringing endorsement, but hey, it could have been worse. The central point of interest is also the central flaw of McQ: John Wayne. Truth be told, as an actor, he does an okay job playing a gritty 70s cop, but the dude is so clearly an old man that the whole thing loses any credibility. It's just hard for the intensity of the story to really land when the main character looks like Grandpa Simpson. Otherwise though, the film works pretty well, mostly thanks to John Sturgess. The veteran filmmaker puts together a handful of solid little action scenes, culminating on a genuinely great car chase on the beach which evolves into a shoot-out. Most of the set-pieces were solid, but that final chase really was kind of awesome, and really elevated the film in my eyes.

McQ is blatant in its efforts to replicate the likes of Bullitt, The French Connection, and of course, Dirty Harry. It's not just that the action scenes, visual style, and narrative crib the aforementioned, but McQ also shares the amoral policeman who repeatedly crosses ethical lines to solve the case. The film is certainly less self-critical than The French Connection or even Dirty Harry, but if you can look past the film's problematic politics, you're left with a fairly decent crime movie. That final car chase alone is probably worth a look, but the film on the whole achieves the whole 70s crime aesthetic fairly well. If nothing else, Wayne's desperate effort to remain relevant could have been way more embarrassing.

C+

SnoBorderZero PG Cooper



Both movies are based on the 1782 French novel. It's the story of two mischievous aristocrats. Merteuil learns that her virginal teenage cousin Cecile will wed her lover, and so to get revenge, asks playboy Valmont to deflower Cecile before the marriage. Valmont does so but for his own personal reasons. He's fallen in love with Tourvel but Cecile's mother has warned Tourvel to not fall for his charms.

Dangerous Liaisons stars Glen Close as Merteuil, John Malkovich as Valmont, Michelle Pfeiffer as Tourvel and a barely legal Uma Thurman as Cecile (in one of her iconic nude roles). The movie is straight-up deprived. If you enjoy watching rich people being assholes to each other, like in PhantomKnight's The Favorite (2018), you'll love this version of the story. Close and Malkovich are devilish in their roles and eat up the scenery. My only quarrel is with Keanu Reeves. Motherfucker has no business being here. You thought he was bad in Bram Stoker's Dracula? He's worse here.

Valmont, in spite of the title, has very little to do with Valmont. Malkovich is the star of Dangerous Liaisons. A young Colin Firth, who plays the role here, takes a backseat to Annette Bening as Merteuil. This adaptation is more... juvenile. The characters here come across as schoolyard children letting their hormones get the best of them. Firth and Bening are good. Meg Tilly is good too as Tourvel. But the standout here is Fairuza Balk as Cecile. She's phenomenal in the role, on par with Close and Malkovich, although she wouldn't have been suitable for that movie at all. She's perfectly suited for this one because she was 15-years-old and captured the essence of what the filmmakers were going for.

The champ here is Dangerous Liaisons. It's really no competition. It's far and away the superior one. But, Valmont is definitely worth checking out for Fairuza Balk. Girl should have won an Oscar. Annette Bening is really good too, and frankly, the most attractive she's been in anything I've seen her. She's not unattractive in her other roles. She's just glowing here. But of course, naked 18-year-old Uma Thurman takes the cake here. Only reason 1godzillafan will even watch it.

THE BIRDCAGE (1996)



This is Doomsday's favorite Gene Hackman in drag movie. It's surprisingly restrained considering the subject matter of Robin Williams and Nathan Lane as two gay parents pretending to be straight. I think I laughed once in the whole 2-hour runtime but the story and characters are very well-executed. It's respectful towards its themes... but maybe too respectful? It seemed afraid to offend which holds back the comedy. And the son at the center of the story is very unlikable and easily the worst actor/character in the whole movie. He came across as a self-centered asshole and it makes you wonder why Williams and Lane would go through the whole charade of being straight to impress his in-laws. It's a very good movie but some poor decisions hold it back from being great.

GODS AND MONSTERS (1998)



This is a weird movie. It's a reimagining of James Whales' final days. You know. James Whales. The director of 1930's Frankenstein. This is a real dude with a real life and here comes a totally fictional story about him as an old pervert with World War I PTSD who wants to rape Brendan Fraser. This would be like SnoBorderZero dying, after a successful career in Coming to America sequels, and Bill Condon making a movie about him locking Florence Pugh in the basement. Why we slandering dead people? Although I'm sure Ian McKellan will kill it in the role.

1998 was the year of Ian McKellen making weirdo movies. There was this and Apt Pupil.