Post by daniel on Feb 6, 2017 4:13:51 GMT -5
My sister and I are kind of cursed with this love for all things horror which means that even the most dismal of Rotten Tomatoes scores will not keep us out of the theatres when stinkers like The Forest, The Boy, Chernobyl Diaries, or even Rings come out.
I knew this was some kind of early year possible-reboot, maybe-sequel cash grab. I knew that release reschedule hell did not bode well, I knew the 9% (at the time) on RT was probably generous, and I knew the embargo on reviews was going to reveal one mess of a movie, and yet I was still not prepared.
Rings entirely rips off Final Destination in that a group of characters is doing everything they can to escape death, and that death is Samara, who is almost reduced entirely to a gimmick in this film. A college professor has somehow not only viewed the Tape That Kills You in Seven Days, but discovered how to escape its death sentence by passing it along to someone. He creates a secret society of students who, more or less, exist to micromanage chain mail and make sure people stay alive. There isn't much hope since one of their members is sent home and very easily killed. Maybe the movie kind of realized this, because that entire storyline is entirely scrapped and we find ourselves back to a reboot of the first movie - go to creepy remote town, find dead girl remains, and try break the curse.
The movie has you thinking everything has ended on a positive note, but wait - there was stuff in the trailers that we haven't seen yet, and so you figure it out before the scary music sets in and lets you know there's more. The more, you ask? Samara is being reborn in the body of the protagonist, but not before she spams everyone's emails with her new video so she can, I don't know? She is taking over a human body, I don't know how much time she wants to really spend crawling out of people's television sets now.
So weird. So bad. I probably would have been ok burning a night off watching this on Netflix, otherwise this was just straight-to-video fodder.
2/10 - pretty pathetic movie
I knew this was some kind of early year possible-reboot, maybe-sequel cash grab. I knew that release reschedule hell did not bode well, I knew the 9% (at the time) on RT was probably generous, and I knew the embargo on reviews was going to reveal one mess of a movie, and yet I was still not prepared.
Rings entirely rips off Final Destination in that a group of characters is doing everything they can to escape death, and that death is Samara, who is almost reduced entirely to a gimmick in this film. A college professor has somehow not only viewed the Tape That Kills You in Seven Days, but discovered how to escape its death sentence by passing it along to someone. He creates a secret society of students who, more or less, exist to micromanage chain mail and make sure people stay alive. There isn't much hope since one of their members is sent home and very easily killed. Maybe the movie kind of realized this, because that entire storyline is entirely scrapped and we find ourselves back to a reboot of the first movie - go to creepy remote town, find dead girl remains, and try break the curse.
The movie has you thinking everything has ended on a positive note, but wait - there was stuff in the trailers that we haven't seen yet, and so you figure it out before the scary music sets in and lets you know there's more. The more, you ask? Samara is being reborn in the body of the protagonist, but not before she spams everyone's emails with her new video so she can, I don't know? She is taking over a human body, I don't know how much time she wants to really spend crawling out of people's television sets now.
So weird. So bad. I probably would have been ok burning a night off watching this on Netflix, otherwise this was just straight-to-video fodder.
2/10 - pretty pathetic movie
