Doomsday did the math on Blank Check + Inflation

When you watch Home Alone as a kid, you're delighted by the way it captures the magic of Christmas, lets you indulge in the fantasy of being as innocent as a child but as independent as an adult, and shows how wonderful it is to have your family around for the holidays (no matter how obnoxious they can be). But when you watch the film as an adult, you can't help but ask yourself one very Grinchy question: how did Kevin McAllister's dad afford his house and a Paris vacation for 9 people?

The films never reveal what it is that Mr. McAllister does for a living, but he must have a pretty snazzy job to afford a house that sold for $1.585 million in 2012.

Here's how much he would have spent during the timeline of the films alone:

A non-stop, round trip flight on American Airlines (the airline they flew) would cost a whopping $35, 320. That's not taking into account the fact that airline prices have fallen in the last 30 years, so it probably would have been even more expensive back then.

The pizza boy says it's $122.50, which would be about $228 today. That better be some good pizza.

Moving on to the things that Kevin destroyed, the staircase would probably need to be replaced after being doused it in tar, and the shelves torn out of the wall in Buzz's room would have to be rebuilt, which would probably cost Kevin's dad at least around $1,200.

Now, Kevin's mom says a few things that make it unclear whether Kevin's dad or his uncle paid for the trip. If Uncle Rob was the one that flew the family out, you have to wonder what he does for a living, especially since he and Aunt Georgette have an insanely opulent penthouse apartment in Paris in addition to a huge brownstone on Central Park West in Manhattan.

Trip to Miami. American Airlines must have had a deal with the movie since the family seemed to use the airline again despite their utter uselessness at getting a mom home to her child in an emergency. Either way, this would have added up to about $9, 927.

The Plaza Hotel. Even though Kevin asked for one of the "finest suites," the hotel probably wouldn't have put him into something as grand as the Royal Suite, which can run up to $30,000 a night and is often reserved for VIP guests. Most likely, he would have been placed in a one-bedroom penthouse suite, which includes butler service and comes to $2,915 for the night.

Villa de Dolphins in Miami. Did they plan to stay in this murder shack or was this what was closest to the airport? Oh, that's right, it was Uncle Frank's suggestion, since it's where he stayed on his honeymoon. Thanks again, Uncle Frank. While the Dolphine doesn't actually exist, an equally shady looking cheap motel costs $99 a night around this time. Given the size of the party, they'd probably need space for at least seven beds, bringing the cost up to $693. That's a lot of money for bedbugs.

A really hideous toy from Duncan's Toy Chest. It was $23.75, which is $40.86 in today's cash.

Ticket to New York. Given that it's a one-way flight, it probably would have come out to about $1,872. Assuming they all got back home in one piece, however, that'd be another $3,150.

About two dozen cans of paint. Luckily, Uncle Rob's brownstone is under renovation, so the mess that Kevin makes is inconsequential. But someone's gotta pay for all that paint! And at $45 a can, all that wastefulness would come up to around $1,000, though I'm pretty sure that's chump change to Prince Uncle Rob.

Plaza Hotel Room Service.

As we learn from his dad's freakout, Kevin spent $967.43 on room service, which today would be $1,659.33. I can understand his surprise (how much ice cream can you eat in one night?), but at this point I think it's pretty safe to say his dad can afford to foot the bill.

All together, the tally comes up to somewhere in the range of $21,257 just for Home Alone 2, which is why it's no wonder that there's a pretty extensive theory on the Internet that claims Peter McAllister is a mobster. Me? I think he's just an average Joe who loves his kids ... but probably shouldn't have any more.