The Box Office Thread

Plus spring break for kids/teens

Jay & Silent Bob Reboot is your huckleberry.



Doomsday

Didn't Trolls World Tour cost $100 million to produce?  Breaking even isn't exactly an overwhelming success.  Plus, they'd already spent a load of money on marketing before the corona hit the fan.

Alexander (2004)

Everything I say from here forward is not meant to be hyperbole or exaggeration. I say this with complete conviction. Among the hundreds of films that I've seen from the past 15 years this very well could be the worst. I know that there are some SyFy films or a crappy straight to DVD horror movie that's worse but I'm talking about movies that I've sat down and watched from beginning to end. I'm talking about a movie that at least made an attempt to be competently made. Alexander is a failure on every single level. From the atrocious acting to the horrendous script and cringe-worthy dialogue throughout, the score that seemed more suited for a Final Fantasy game, the snails pace that the movie seems to go through, it's a film that really makes me try to think hard as to whether there is any redeeming quality at all. As of now I suspect there isn't. There are some terrible movies that I've seen that are legitimately horrible (A Good Day to Die Hard, Wing Commander) and some that stuck with me as being one that I hated but might be worth a revisit (The Hunted). Alexander surpasses all of them on the garbage scale. It takes itself so seriously yet at the same time there must have been some people in the crew who saw this film unfolding and wondered if they should say anything, if they should quit or perhaps even desert in the middle of the night. Anything would have been a better choice than to stick with this. I don't think my mind is going to change but as of now Oliver Stone's Alexander is the worst film I've seen from the new millennium.

F so says Doomsday

Troy
Watched on Netflix at 2:00am while taking care of the new Doomsday spawn

Where do people come down on this movie? I assume it's that it's not a good movie because it isn't. I remember it coming out when I was a teen and thinking it was pretty cool but that luster wore off very, very quickly. That isn't to say that there isn't some good stuff in here. It's a sword and sandals epic that feels like it has a sense of scope and some of the battles and fights are pretty cool. The sack of Troy is also done pretty well for the most part. Other than that, damn is it a cheesy movie with some very questionable casting of actors whose acting overall is piss-poor. Down the line every actor in this movie is either hamming it up and if they aren't they're Orlando Bloom. Whenever I come across an Orlando Bloom movie on tv or Netflix I try to pinpoint where his career went off the rails. Not that I miss him, he's a terrible actor, it just seemed like he was everywhere until one day he was gone. According to his IMDB he's still working but not in anything high profile outside of the crappy Hobbit movies. The person who goes without saying is Brad Pitt who actually portrays a good Achilles at least physically, he's just given garbage material to work with. He also does one of those accent shifts where he can't decide if he's American, British or that weird Bri-merican hybrid. There is an unsung hero of this movie though and that's Brian Cox. I think Brian Cox is one of our cinematic greats who doesn't get nearly the accolades he deserves despite giving so many great performances (lest we forget he originated Hannibal Lector) but in Troy he goes off the over-acting rails. He gets into full on Nicolas Cage territory, it's incredible to watch. Every line, every look is just dripping with a zealous over-intense cornballishness. 'Every son of Troy....shall die!' is something that should be put on his tombstone. Anyways, this thing is a big stupid popcorn movie that I've seen more than I should have and while I in no way will defend this movie or its terrible acting or horribly written dialogue or the fact that it shits all over the Iliad and classical mythology I would be lying if I told you I would never watch it again if I found myself bored and scrolled by it on a lazy afternoon.