Strange Things: 11 Movie Collection

Uhh, yeah those mutli-movie for twenty dollars boxed sets they sell in department stores are all ripoffs. Even if any of those movies are remotely decent odds are the picture quality will be unwatchable.

Krull is so awesome

THE HEARSE (1980)



Starring George C. Scott's wife, The Hearse is about a woman who moves into her late aunt's home and discovers all sorts of supernatural shenanigans. The movie is cliche and by-the-numbers, but in 1980, it probably didn't come across that way. Critics actually defended it because it wasn't Friday the 13th. It's well-made, really nothing major to complain about, it's the type of low-effort horror movie that would air on Saturday afternoon television back in the 1980's and 90's. No violence. No nudity. Just creepy piano music and jump scares. You can watch it with your kids! Only thing that stood out to me was the subplot involving one of the neighborhood teenagers trying to have sex with the woman. It goes nowhere. It's super G-rated. But one of the teenager's friends is played by a young Christopher McDonald. Even back then the guy looked like an asshole and he's wasted as "the friend". They also cast Joseph Cotten, yes - THE Joseph Cotten, and do nothing with him either. You can tell the whole movie is a vanity project for George C. Scott's wife. I can imagine George C. Scott calling a few of his Hollywood pals and saying, "I need to get the lady of the house. Put her in a movie - any movie. Just don't show her tits."

Spacehunter: Adventures in the Forbidden Zone (1983)



I learned two things watching Spacehunter: Adventures in the Forbidden Zone.

1) Ernie Hudson worked with Ivan Reitman prior to Ghostbusters.

2) Molly Ringwald had boobs in 1982.

Anyway... I can't tell what was more shamelessly ripped off in the 80's: Star Wars or Road Warrior. I can give a free pass to horror movies cashing in on Halloween cause an idiot can spend 5 bucks on a toy knife and fake blood. But it takes a special kind of scammer to make a cheap sci-fi/action-adventure film and sell it to the public.

Here you have a Han Solo type going to a Mad Max planet to rescue some chicks and defeat some mutants.

I'm not gonna say this movie is terrible. It does have a kickass Elmer Bernstein score and Molly Ringwald in a wet tanktop, but if every copy of this film were set on fire I wouldn't shed a tear.

This was before he was typecast as Michael Ironside.

I found this DVD for pretty cheap on eBay. I picked it up too, I'll see if I'm willing or able to follow any of these reviews.

Wait, what?

Waste of $2

Like Dracula said, they’re just VHS transfers.

I managed to sell my copy on ebay for $15. Bazinga!

MUTANT (1984)



Citizens of a redneck town are turned into zombies by toxic waste. This falls into a category I like to call "weekend afternoon movies". It's mostly moody and character-driven but picks up at the end with pretty good zombie scenes. It's something to watch on a lazy Sunday.

ETERNAL EVIL (1985)



The kid from the cover!

Eternal Evil (or The Blue Man) is a Canadian horror film about a man who can summon his soul to kill people. Remember that Freddy Krueger movie in which they ran out of money, and so, there's a scene in which a character gets murdered by an invisible Freddy? ... Yeah... that basically sums up this movie. It's cheap as hell. But it's moody at least. If they ever restore beyond VHS quality, I might be willing to give it a second shot.