The Dracula List Thread

Dracula watched They Came Together?

I didn't really know what I was getting myself into.  I like Amy Poehler a lot on Parks and Rec and I heard good things about it here or there.  I was expecting something a little more... subtle.

Judging a book by its cover isn't always a bad idea.  

Milla is the only reason I saw that movie.

 I clearly didn't think things through when I tossed it onto my netflix queue.

11. Friday the 13th (2009): Watched on Blu-Ray via Netflix on 10/31/2014



Of the three Friday the 13th movies I watched this year, this was probably the best… which isn’t saying much. In fact it’s probably not saying much to say that this is one of the best films of that series if only because it has some decent cinematography and Jason is portrayed a bit better than he usually is. Still, the movie continues to rely on some really unlikable teenage protagonists and is generally really pointless.



10. Here Comes the Navy (1934): Watched on TCM on 7/19/2014



This mostly forgotten comedy features James Cagney as an unlikable shit who we’re supposed to find just charming as hell simply because he’s a movie star. The movie is mostly set on the U.S.S. Arizona, which is one of the ships that would be destroyed in Pearl Harbor seven years after the movie was made, so that adds a nice layer of uncomfortableness to this otherwise insanely forgettable comedy.



9. We’re the Millers (2013): Watched on Blu-Ray via Netflix on 2/3/2014



I was far to kind to this rather dreadful comedy when I first watched it early last year. The movie squanders what could have been a fairly decent premise on a completely misbegotten effort that isn’t funny and often doesn’t make a lot of logistical sense at all.

8. Alexander’s Ragtime Band (1938): Watched on TCM on 3/1/2014


This movie is, for all intents and purposes a jukebox musical made before there was a term for such things. The movie basically takes the greatest hits of songwriter Irving Berlin and creates a half-assed plot in order to string them together for some reason. I generally hate Jukebox musicals, and this is not exception.



7. One Night of Love (1934): Watched on TCM on 2/22/2014



With the emergence of sound, Hollywood suddenly became obsessed with stories of opera singers, which they thought would be a good means of showcasing their new technology. It’s because of that that movies like One Night of Love, which mostly exists to show off the singing ability of star Grace Moore, got made. To say it’s forgettable is an understatement.



6. State Fair (1933): Watched on TCM on 2/21/2014



This isn’t exactly a terribly made movie, but its concept (a rural family being “corrupted” by the relative activity of an Iowa state fair) is absolutely alien to me to the point of having nothing to latch on to. Beyond that it’s just really really really boring.

We both have One Night of Love as our seventh worst watch.

We are probably the only two here who've seen it.

Oh I got it, but I don't wanna make Drac uncomfortable. At least let me buy him dinner first.

5. Jason X (2002): Watched on DVD via Netflix on 10/15/2014



I would say this feels like a direct to video movie, but that’s a little too kind, it actually feels more like some kind of science fiction themed soft-core porn movie that they somehow forgot to add all the sex scenes to. That this got a theatrical release baffles me. The only reason this isn’t higher on the list is that it veers into so-bad-it’s-good territory at times and this campiness does at least seem to be partially intentional.



4. Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday (1993): Watched on DVD via Netflix on 10/4/2014



I long criticized the Friday the 13th series for basically making the same movie over and over again, but this movie makes a convincing argument that these people trying to make something different is even worse. People expect very simple pleasures from Jason movies, the expect to see a dude wearing a hockey mask murdering naked teenagers, and this movie screws with the formula in misguided ways. It also sucks on every conceivable level.



3. The Lives of a Bengal Lancer (1935): Watched on TCM on 3/8/2014



Most of the movies on this list suck for a variety of reasons, but few of them can claim to have inspired a genocide. The same can not be said of The Lives of a Bengal Lancer, which was a favorite film of a man named Adolf Hitler, who liked that it showed white people controlling an entire continent of brown people and made the film compulsory viewing for the SS. Yeah, not exactly the legacy you want. Really though, I could have overlooked the film’s imperialistic bullshit to some extent if it had actually been an entertaining adventure film, but for the most part I just found it to be over-long and rather dull.

Yeah, I've been having second thoughts about the worthiness of this "watch a bunch of BP nominees goal. And considering I've already seen most of the nominees that regularly show up on TCM I don't know how much more of them I'm going to watch.