The Cat Calling Video

"A non-profit dedicated to ending street harassment"

This has to be a joke. Exactly how is that supposed to work?

Maybe it's because I've lived in the midwest too long, but when someone passing by says "how are you today?" that's not harassment, that's being polite. There's a huge difference between that and actual harassment. Some of the stuff said to her I can understand making her uncomfortable but I think we can all agree that "Have a nice day" != "Hay gurl come sit on my face".

Years ago, I was at the fair and in line for one of the rides. And there was this girl in front of me and when it was her turn to get on the ride, the guy operating the ride said to her, "I can't let you go on the ride. Your boobs are too big. You're gonna break the ride." And everyone in line said a collective, "woah." Now it's 2014 and people are shocked over a video where guys say "hi" to a girl. Is this seriously the world we live in now?

I feel that we're in an era where people are too sheltered. If someone watches that video and honestly believe that's cat calling, then that person has never actually experienced or witnessed sexual harassment. And to use New York as the setting is eye-rolling. People have gotten raped and murdered in Central Park and this video is the best that someone can come up with?

Not just that, people are too empowered. I know we usually say 'empowering' like it's a positive and that things like the internet 'give people a voice' but frankly there are a lot of people who shouldn't have a voice. The insensitivity is bred because people have learned that if they yell loud enough they'll be acknowledged which gives them a sense of moral superiority over everyone else. 'That guy was drunk and called someone a faggot. I'm going to get him fired from his job to show how low he is and in essence how much better I am.' I talked about it on the main CS board for a post or two but as long as we give credence to these people who take to the internet raising pitchforks then they'll keep doing it. People will keep having their entire lives ruined over minor 'offenses' (or harmless things that other people with differing opinions deem offensive) and the world will not get any better. We need to tell people to shut up.

As for this girl, yeah what's the money donation all about? This is why I can't get behind these so-called feminists. I suppose I would say that I'm feminist in the sense that I believe women should be paid equally and afforded the same opportunities as men, but that's pretty common sense. I don't consider those ideas radical or extreme. However if you're going to come out with #notallmen hashtags and imply that men are rapists to some degree then no, I can't get behind that.

Look, I understand where you're coming from.  I also find some of the tactics used by online "social justice warriors" to be a little tiresome and I do wish some of them would learn to pick their battles a bit more wisely.  However, it is very easy to dismiss their arguments when you are in a privileged position of not being the victim of most of the things that they are fighting for.  The things you're seeing in that video are what are called "microaggressions."  They're thoughtless little things that people in the dominant culture say or do when interacting with marginalized people which aren't brazen enough to be worth calling out in the moment but which do have a certain sting just the same.  Any one of these things in a vaccum is not worth complaining about, but when you're subjected to microaggression after microaggression day after day they do build up and you start to get a very demoralized view of the society you live in.  That doesn't mean you should have to live in fear of offending minorities at all time and it also doesn't mean that anyone who engages in microaggressions here or there is a terrible person, but getting super defensive every time one is pointed out is not the best way to deal with them.  Instead I think it's best to try to empathize with the people who have to deal with stuff like this and try to imagine what these incidents look like from their point of view rather than get angry with the messenger and make the people who are trying to improve things into the bad guys.

BTW, #YesAllWomen is the hashtag you're thinking of (#NotAllMen was a response tag), and the point was not that all men were creeps, just that all women need to deal with bullshit from time to time from the ones who are.

You gotta admit that guy following her was way stalkerish rude

And there were some uncalled for comments as well - I would not want to have to deal with that kind of treatment myself - the stalker would have been gotten a verbal warning = then Maced, Tazed, or kicked in the family jewels if it were me.

It's about claiming the moral high ground. That's what matters to those people on the fringe, convincing themselves that they're better than others.

On the cat calling issue though, it's sad that it even happens to that extent. I don't know about you guys and your experiences but if I was ever out in public with friends and so much as said 'looking good' to a woman walking by my friends wouldn't even know how to react. Maybe with a 'what the hell was that, what are you thinking?' and embarrassed looks on their faces. I know that doesn't account for everyone though, it's just a creepy thing that men need to nip in the bud especially among their peers. Nothing will straighten a guy out like a couple of other guys saying 'what the fuck are you doing?'

You're comparing this to suicide and depression? You sure have a grasp on the big issues.

True, we all had those friends when we were 15. Then after they did it just once or twice it stopped being funny and we made sure they locked that down. Now anyone I know would be disgusted and embarrassed if they saw someone do that whether they knew them or not.

I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume that you're talking about angsty attention seeking behavior rather than writing off depression as either A. Reserved for the poor, or B. Not a thing that exists.

Well the burden to changes things should be on men, not you (women). Like I said, one thing that will change things is criticism from peers. Now when you have entire communities where that's acceptable is where you get into trouble and I would bet that this woman knew which part of town she'd get hassled the most and went that direction. I'll tell you right now though that there are parts of LA where that might happen but there are other parts where it wouldn't. Again, it's the culture and community that doesn't address it and when it's not addressed it's essentially encouraged.

Yes I agree woman should not bare the burden of men's behavior but there has to be a balance between what's practical and what's ideal until that happens. And yes, there certain area's of New York where street calling happens more often and I agree change starts with the community, but there isn't necessarily a cultural divide, just different (often stealthier) tactics.

What I was trying to say is being over sensitive to someone "just saying hi" isn't looking at the broader picture. Guys will continue to do it and that's their prerogative. Just don't act like a butt-hurt dick when the intended target decides they're not interested in particapting a game they never intended to play.