thebtskink
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Post by thebtskink on Apr 19, 2019 11:27:38 GMT -5
D is for Delighful
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PG Cooper
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Post by PG Cooper on Apr 19, 2019 12:09:58 GMT -5
If PG Cooper can make a D+ video essay I can do a D- written essay. It's still a passing grade.  I've actually wanted to do a video called "The Problem with Jesus (in Movies)" about how Jesus is almost always the most boring part of his own films given he's more symbol than character. Last Temptation largely gets around this, but as you say, it's still bogged down with JC's greatest hits. |
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1godzillafan
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Post by 1godzillafan on Apr 19, 2019 12:38:52 GMT -5
True Story: I was babysitting a five-year old last night and we wound up watching Hellboy (which was because mostly because we watched Hellboy II first and he really enjoyed it, the first not so much) and in the opening you see that crucifix statue of Jesus. The five-year-old asks me "Who is that lady?"
I respond "That's not a lady, that's Jesus."
He looks up at me in a panic and screams "WHY'D THEY KILL JESUS?!"
I legit didn't have a response for that.
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Neverending
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Post by Neverending on Jun 19, 2019 1:31:24 GMT -5
THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL (1951) From Disney comes one of the most iconic sci-fi movies of its day. Foreseeing the space race and potential colonization of other planets, Klaatu comes to Earth to warn humans that if they extend their streak of violence to outer space, the planet will be destroyed. Robert Wise directs and Bernard Herrmann does the score and they both give the movie a Twilight Zone esque approach to the material. It’s very well-executed and leaves a lasting impression but it’s still a movie from 1951 and there’s plenty of cheesiness to chuckle at. When Klaatu arrives he tries to set-up a meeting with the United Nations and fails. Since he looks human, he escapes from the government and military and goes to mingle with the people. He takes up residence at a Airbnb type place and befriends an Opie type kid who says “gee golly whizz” and stuff of that nature. Opie’s mom is dating some jerk who resents the attention that Klaatu is receiving so he snoops around and discovers that Klaatu is the space man. He alerts the military and they end momentarily incapacitating Klaatu. That alerts his robot Gort who is supposed to be indestructible but looks like a costume from Party City. Gort goes to rescue Klaatu and nobody sees him. Really?! Robot running around Washington DC in the midst of hysteria and he just strolls by. Hilarious. But that’s the charm of the movie. It’s fantasy along with your moralistic science fiction. If made today, that would be replaced with action scenes. Lame. You can tell an end-of-world story without actually destroying anything.
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Deexan
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Post by Deexan on Jun 19, 2019 4:40:51 GMT -5
I prefer the Keanu version.
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Post by Neverending on Jun 19, 2019 5:10:58 GMT -5
I prefer the Keanu version. Keanu is reprising his role of Klaatu in the Captain Marvel sequel. |
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PG Cooper
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Post by PG Cooper on Jun 19, 2019 11:03:12 GMT -5
THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL (1951)But that’s the charm of the movie. It’s fantasy along with your moralistic science fiction. If made today, that would be replaced with action scenes. Lame. You can tell an end-of-world story without actually destroying anything. That's why it's so great. It's a 50s b-movie in style but also a lot more substantial. |
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Post by Neverending on Jul 23, 2019 10:42:58 GMT -5
this post sponsored by alita: battle angel, now on physical media and on the interwebs. it's the movie rated 11/10 by superherohype's DoomsdayEL MARIACHI TRILOGY (1992/1995/2003) Back when PG Cooper was in Kevin Smith's ballsack, Robert Rodriguez was stimulating my pre-teen senses with cartoon violence and blink-and-you'll-miss nudity by Salma Hayek. Although I've been watching R-rated movies longer than I had any right to, there comes a point in everyone's moviegoing life in which they outgrow kids movies and actively seek out adult fare. By that point in my history, Robert Rodriguez was at the peak of his popularity with films such as El Mariachi, Desperado, From Dusk till Dawn and arguably The Faculty. To quote Doomsday, "these are perfect movies for 12-year-old boys." PG Cooper's introduction to Robert Rodriguez was Spy Kids and Sharkboy/Lavagirl. Then he has the cojones to say we're both millennials. To quote Dracula, "bitch, you crazy?" Now let's look back at the Mariachi Trilogy, which includes 2003's Once Upon a Time in Mexico a.k.a. Agent Sands: The Movie. Do they hold up? by the way, quentin tarantino's once upon a time in hollywood is in theatres this thursday. tarantino's foot massages rated 12/10 by SnoBorderZero.El Mariachi, along with Reservoir Dogs and Clerks, is credited as a major contributor to the 1990's independent film movement. Rodriguez took $7,000 to Mexico and managed to make an action film about a Mariachi who's mistaken for a drug dealer that walks around in guitar case filled with weapons. What made the movie standout was Rodriguez's energetic camerawork and editing combined with the production value that came from shooting at a small town in Mexico. It has a lot of visual personality, and whether you feel it's a competent movie or not, there's little denying it has loads of charm. Desperado is a movie I loved in the 1990's and well into the 2000's. The action scenes are fantastic. Antonio Banderas is badass. And, well, Salma Hayek. But watching it now... yeah... it has no script. It's just a series of set-ups and the corresponding action scenes, comedy beats and... Salma Hayek. I'm tempted to say it's the weakest of the three but it's arguably the most memorable one. The opening scene with Steve Buscemi is great. The opening credits are great. The Quentin Tarantino scene is great. El Mariachi and his two guitar case buddies are great. Salma Hayek. It's a weird movie in retrospect. It has the best scenes but in the worst movie. PG Cooper should get off his ass and do a video essay. Agent Sands: The Movie, like most, I was disappointed upon release. It's a convoluted mess. It has a million characters and a million storylines but none of it mattered except Johnny Depp being a badass. But looking back, you have to applaud Rodriguez's ambition with it. It has visual scope, epic music and he progressed the story from vigilante-vs-drug-dealers to the government vs the cartels. It's the campy version of Sicario. It's an engaging movie, even if it fails at its goals. Overall, Doomsday is right. These are movies for 12-year-old boys but you still gotta acknowledge Rodriguez's skills as a technical filmmaker. These are really well-made movies, even back when he only had $7,000. Rodriguez's biggest career failure is the fact that he insists on being a writer. If someone else was doing scripts for him, he could be up there with Peter Jackson and Guillermo Del Toro.
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IanTheCool
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Post by IanTheCool on Jul 23, 2019 11:06:57 GMT -5
I watched el mariachi and desperado within the last year or so. and at this point mariachi is more memorable.
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Doomsday
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Post by Doomsday on Jul 23, 2019 17:08:21 GMT -5
I've never seen El Mariachi but I am very fond of mid-90s Salma Hayek. From Dusk Till Dawn, I'm getting an itch just thinking about it.
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Post by Neverending on Feb 3, 2020 15:54:09 GMT -5
DISNEY'S EDWARD SCISSORHANDS BY DISNEY PG Cooper loves Batman Returns so much he did a video essay on it, which is stunning considering he only does one video essay every quarter century. But even more earth shattering than that is the revelation that he hates Edward Scissorhands. He despises it so much he'll buy every physical copy of it in Canada and burn them. Why the negatively overblown reaction to such a beloved classic? Well, you see, once you get past all the fantasy mumbo jumbo, Edward Scissorhands is the story about a man with no dick. The guy has scissors for hands. You think he has a dick? How would he take a piss without chopping his dick off? Regardless of which side of the debate you're on, dick or mutilated dick, it's not pretty down there. It makes sense for the movie to end with Edward Scissorhands running back to his castle and leaving Winona Ryder behind. The man has no dick. This relationship wasn't going to go very far. What does this have to do with PG Cooper? Well, PG Cooper has a microscopic sized penis. Edward Scissorhands could have been a hero to all men with tiny dicks. If someone as hot as Winona Ryder can love a man with no dick, then surely, she could love PG Cooper too. But no, the movie needed that dose of reality and PG Cooper was so offended he launched Canada's first Men's Rights Activist group. And he's now working at our schools, teaching our youths. Good grief. As you can tell from that opening, Edward Scissorhands is a very stupid movie. There's no logic to it whatsoever. But why does it work? Why is it beloved? Why is it a classic? It's because of what the movie represents. Let me offer this thesis: HOW TIM BURTON USES THE ABSURD AS SATIREEdward Scissorhands isn't the story of a dickless man. Far from it, actually. It's an allegory for late 1960's and 1970's America. You can tell that just from the aesthetic. But go deeper. Before Edward is even introduced, the film spends time showcasing the suburban setting and the characters which inhabit it. The husbands are working all day. The wives are home all day. And at the center of it is the Avon Lady. She's the only working woman in the neighborhood. She's the progressive. She's the one who finds Edward and brings him home. Her husband, played by Alan Arkin, isn't necessarily a progressive but he's passive enough not to care either way. This is firmly established too. When Edward arrives in the neighborhood, all the wives are obsessed with him. He's this exotic creature. Edward is a metaphor for minorities, whether it be for Black or Latino or Asian. For these bored housewives, he's a new flavor of ice cream. The scene in which he gives all of them a haircut couldn't be more explicit. This leads to Edward starting his own business (or more accurately, the Avon Lady starting a business for him which touches upon the white savior complex) and he becomes a town celebrity. All of this is set up before we get to the Edward/Winona romance which is supposed to be the heart of the movie. Notice that outside of Alan Arkin the movie hasn't focused on the men. Up until this point it's very much a story about Edward, the Avon Lady and the bored housewives. Once Edward starts to develop a relationship with Winona Ryder, the Anthony Michael Hall character, in all his 1950's greaser galore, comes into the forefront. Yes, on the surface of it, no guy is gonna be cool with another dude stealing his girl. But his character is antagonistic towards Edward before he has any reason to. This is our first glimpse at racism in the story. While the housewives are all enamored with Edward, it can be argued the husbands aren't too thrilled with this "scissor-hand" person in their neighborhood. As the Edward-Winona relationship evolves, or a mixed relationship to be more exact, the neighborhood suddenly turns against Edward. Edward runs back to his castle because it isn't safe for him nor Winona to continue their romance. Yeah, there's some pussification to that notion. They should FIGHT for their love... but frankly... how many people have chosen the wimp route? It's a relatable story either way you slice it. Speaking of which, to drive this point further, Edward is originally a machine that is brought to life by Vincent Price. If that isn't a metaphor for slave/slave-owner dynamic, I don't know what is. In conclusion, PG Cooper is racist.
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Doomsday
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Post by Doomsday on Feb 3, 2020 16:07:36 GMT -5
I haven't watched it in a while but I still love Danny Elfman's score for it, it's quite nice to listen to.
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Dracula
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Post by Dracula on Feb 3, 2020 16:19:33 GMT -5
DISNEY'S EDWARD SCISSORHANDS BY DISNEYPG Cooper loves Batman Returns so much he did a video essay on it, which is stunning considering he only does one video essay every quarter century. But even more earth shattering than that is the revelation that he hates Edward Scissorhands. He despises it so much he'll buy every physical copy of it in Canada and burn them. Why the negatively overblown reaction to such a beloved classic? Well, you see, once you get past all the fantasy mumbo jumbo, Edward Scissorhands is the story about a man with no dick. The guy has scissors for hands. You think he has a dick? How would he take a piss without chopping his dick off? Regardless of which side of the debate you're on, dick or mutilated dick, it's not pretty down there. It makes sense for the movie to end with Edward Scissorhands running back to his castle and leaving Winona Ryder behind. The man has no dick. This relationship wasn't going to go very far. What does this have to do with PG Cooper? Well, PG Cooper has a microscopic sized penis. Edward Scissorhands could have been a hero to all men with tiny dicks. If someone as hot as Winona Ryder can love a man with no dick, then surely, she could love PG Cooper too. But no, the movie needed that dose of reality and PG Cooper was so offended he launched Canada's first Men's Rights Activist group. And he's now working at our schools, teaching our youths. Good grief. As you can tell from that opening, Edward Scissorhands is a very stupid movie. There's no logic to it whatsoever. But why does it work? Why is it beloved? Why is it a classic? It's because of what the movie represents. Let me offer this thesis: HOW TIM BURTON USES THE ABSURD AS SATIREEdward Scissorhands isn't the story of a dickless man. Far from it, actually. It's an allegory for late 1960's and 1970's America. You can tell that just from the aesthetic. But go deeper. Before Edward is even introduced, the film spends time showcasing the suburban setting and the characters which inhabit it. The husbands are working all day. The wives are home all day. And at the center of it is the Avon Lady. She's the only working woman in the neighborhood. She's the progressive. She's the one who finds Edward and brings him home. Her husband, played by Alan Arkin, isn't necessarily a progressive but he's passive enough not to care either way. This is firmly established too. When Edward arrives in the neighborhood, all the wives are obsessed with him. He's this exotic creature. Edward is a metaphor for minorities, whether it be for Black or Latino or Asian. For these bored housewives, he's a new flavor of ice cream. The scene in which he gives all of them a haircut couldn't be more explicit. This leads to Edward starting his own business (or more accurately, the Avon Lady starting a business for him which touches upon the white savior complex) and he becomes a town celebrity. All of this is set up before we get to the Edward/Winona romance which is supposed to be the heart of the movie. Notice that outside of Alan Arkin the movie hasn't focused on the men. Up until this point it's very much a story about Edward, the Avon Lady and the bored housewives. Once Edward starts to develop a relationship with Winona Ryder, the Anthony Michael Hall character, in all his 1950's greaser galore, comes into the forefront. Yes, on the surface of it, no guy is gonna be cool with another dude stealing his girl. But his character is antagonistic towards Edward before he has any reason to. This is our first glimpse at racism in the story. While the housewives are all enamored with Edward, it can be argued the husbands aren't too thrilled with this "scissor-hand" person in their neighborhood. As the Edward-Winona relationship evolves, or a mixed relationship to be more exact, the neighborhood suddenly turns against Edward. Edward runs back to his castle because it isn't safe for him nor Winona to continue their romance. Yeah, there's some pussification to that notion. They should FIGHT for their love... but frankly... how many people have chosen the wimp route? It's a relatable story either way you slice it. Speaking of which, to drive this point further, Edward is originally a machine that is brought to life by Vincent Price. If that isn't a metaphor for slave/slave-owner dynamic, I don't know what is. In conclusion, PG Cooper is racist. Do you think you tagged PG Cooper enough times? |
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Neverending
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Post by Neverending on May 15, 2020 23:56:02 GMT -5
THE CABLE GUY (1996) There’s no doubt I took this movie for granted when it came out. I enjoyed it and understood it, but it didn’t have Jim Carrey talking out of his ass. Time has forgiven that crime. Even though we’re a growing generation of cord cutters, the story of a loner raised on media turning into a sociopath who tries to destroy a man’s life, resonates better than ever before. But message aside, the movie works because of the strange talents of Jim Carrey. He found that line between hilarious and annoying, and like a circus highwire act, never loses his balance. How did this man not even have an Oscar nomination? |
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Post by Neverending on Aug 27, 2020 0:40:06 GMT -5
OBSERVE AND REPORT (2009) Happy Black Friday While society made a fool of itself today, the Paul Blart’s of the world tried to maintain some level of sanity. It’s probably the only day of the year anyone takes them seriously. The other 364 days, they’re just Ronnie from Observe and Report. This is Seth Rogen’s Taxi Driver. He’s hilarious as a delusional, off his meds, mall cop obsessed with stopping a serial flasher. He alienates almost everyone around him and even gets into fist fights with Ray Liotta. But make no mistake. He’s the hero of the story. At no point does the movie laugh at him. He’s actually a really competent mall cop. Over the top? Yes. Moderately retarded? Perhaps. But he did catch that pervert. Observe and Report is one of the most misunderstood, underrated comedies of the last decade. I’m glad all of Rogen’s stoner fans hated it, it’s dark and smart and everything they aren’t used to. Its such a great movie. The comedy is bonkers and not like anything you usually see in today's movies. Observe & Report is being re-evaluated as an “anti-cop masterpiece.” Get PG Cooper working on the video essay pronto. |
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Doomsday
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Post by Doomsday on Aug 27, 2020 0:44:43 GMT -5
I would actually really dig a Coop video on Observe and Report.
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Post by Neverending on Aug 27, 2020 1:00:08 GMT -5
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Post by Neverending on Oct 8, 2020 21:24:39 GMT -5
Doomsday 1godzillafan donny PhantomKnight PG Cooper Dracula WyldstaarTHE STATE OF CINEMA  Christopher Nolan and Warner Bros offered us a return to the days before Jaws, when movies opened one at a time, city by city, and played for years. Tenet hasn’t quite achieved that and the rest of Hollywood has largely abandoned the idea of theatrical distribution in 2020. But we are seeing glimpses of what moviegoing used to be. Aside from Tenet, this weekend’s “big release” the War With Grandpa, and a few holdovers such as New Mutants and Unhinged, it has been amusing to witness the lack of consistency among theatres. Granted, this is purely anecdotal. The big chains like AMC will play the same movies everywhere. So this depends on how vibrant your local theatre scene is. Here, for the first time, I’m seeing theatres and drive-in’s truly cater to their neighborhoods. And I’m not necessarily talking about old movies. I mean brand new releases. For example.... One theatre, in the entire city, is playing this random ass horror film that just came out: Another theatre is playing this VOD movie starring Jessica Chastain that no one gave a fuck about And if you go to the more respectable part of town, you might catch this other VOD title This is how it used to be in Ramplate’s day. If you wanna watch a certain movie you gotta go to that theatre in that neighborhood to watch it. Theatres are basically creating turf wars. “Bill Murray’s On the Rocks plays on my street. Keep that Mel Gibson Fatman on your corner.” Should be interesting to see how this all plays out.
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thebtskink
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Post by thebtskink on Oct 28, 2020 22:07:36 GMT -5
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Post by Neverending on Nov 25, 2020 23:59:40 GMT -5
SnoBorderZeroLaces Out ACE VENTURA (1994) The state of comedy is dire, my friends. It was only a few years ago when Judd Apatow & Friends dominated the scene but audiences grew tired of it and now we're stuck with... remakes of Baywatch? What's important to remember is that masses respond to high concepts. Comedy is heightened reality and if you can come up with something ridiculous you can catch people's attention. Ace Ventura is a great example. Unlike, say, Austin Powers which is a parody or the fourth wall breaking of Wayne's World, Ace Ventura exists in the real world. Audiences are expected to believe that someone turned pet rescuing into a form of police work. The movie acknowledges the absurdity of the concept but it also establishes the competence of the character. If someone in real life were able to pay the bills by being a pet detective he'd have to be awesome at it. This is called... adding believability. You may have noticed the lack of it in the 2016 Ghostbusters. There's something else the movie does very well. It's something that made an impression on me in 1994 and has stuck with me in 2017. There's a creepy scene where Ace Ventura visits the home of Ray Finkle. It comes out of nowhere and is a tonal contradiction to the rest of the movie. It should have been the worst scene in the movie. It should have been the equivalent of Johnny Depp dancing in Alice in Wonderland. Instead, it's the best scene. Why? Because it's the point in the movie where you realize, "holy shit I'm invested in the story." If I randomly said to someone that the laces weren't out, they'd know exactly what I was talking about. There's a part in our brain reserved for the plot of Ace Ventura. I'm pretty sure every kicker in the NFL makes sure the laces are out. Perhaps the biggest mistake comedy writers make is focusing too much on the jokes. I know that sounds dumb but you have to realize that jokes have a short life span. Jim Carrey talking out of his ass in 1994 was hilarious. It's not that funny in 2017. Stories, characters and world building are what resonates. The defining thing about this movie isn't the buffoonery of Jim Carrey. It's the madness of Sean Young. You came to watch a movie about a pet detective but instead got one about an NFL kicker turning into a police woman and kidnapping Dan Marino. Nearly 25 years later you still find yourself thinking, "what the fuck is this movie?"
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PhantomKnight
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Post by PhantomKnight on Nov 26, 2020 1:17:29 GMT -5
Just re-watched both Ace Ventura movies last weekend. They still crack me up.
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Post by Neverending on Feb 3, 2021 9:28:52 GMT -5
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thebtskink
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Post by thebtskink on Feb 11, 2021 14:56:35 GMT -5
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Dracula
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Post by Dracula on Feb 11, 2021 15:07:42 GMT -5
I'm not super sure why people obsess over that either, by all accounts he subjected everyone to a whole lot of takes on those last three movies and it doesn't seem to have been anything personal. |
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PG Cooper
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Post by PG Cooper on Feb 11, 2021 15:43:41 GMT -5
Good read. Thanks for sharing. And I mostly agree. I think Kubrick's treatment of Shelley was a little unprofessional and maybe even cruel, but calling it abuse is a stretch, and blaming it for Duvall's current struggles is the worst kind of armchair diagnosing. |
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