Neverending
CS! Platinum
Join Date: Jul 2003
Posts: 65,773
Likes: 8,647
Location:
Last Online Nov 22, 2024 18:30:10 GMT -5
|
Post by Neverending on Jul 2, 2017 2:04:55 GMT -5
Happy Canada Day!
Let's celebrate this holiday with a live blog of the Heath Ledger masterpiece The Patriot featuring presently deceased actor Mel Gibson. It's the 6-hour version available through the Criterion Collection. It's from the director of Babylon 5 and Volcano starring Will Smith.
Let's get this pony show started.
|
|
Neverending
CS! Platinum
Join Date: Jul 2003
Posts: 65,773
Likes: 8,647
Location:
Last Online Nov 22, 2024 18:30:10 GMT -5
|
Post by Neverending on Jul 2, 2017 2:06:04 GMT -5
Sony Pictures. The mark of quality.
|
|
Neverending
CS! Platinum
Join Date: Jul 2003
Posts: 65,773
Likes: 8,647
Location:
Last Online Nov 22, 2024 18:30:10 GMT -5
|
Post by Neverending on Jul 2, 2017 2:11:08 GMT -5
You want your main character to be a slave owner. That's how audiences can relate to him.
|
|
Neverending
CS! Platinum
Join Date: Jul 2003
Posts: 65,773
Likes: 8,647
Location:
Last Online Nov 22, 2024 18:30:10 GMT -5
|
Post by Neverending on Jul 2, 2017 2:15:25 GMT -5
Those kids are excited to see their aunt's cleavage.
|
|
Neverending
CS! Platinum
Join Date: Jul 2003
Posts: 65,773
Likes: 8,647
Location:
Last Online Nov 22, 2024 18:30:10 GMT -5
|
Post by Neverending on Jul 2, 2017 2:30:30 GMT -5
I guess the luxury of fighting on your soil is if shit gets too real you can just go home.
|
|
Neverending
CS! Platinum
Join Date: Jul 2003
Posts: 65,773
Likes: 8,647
Location:
Last Online Nov 22, 2024 18:30:10 GMT -5
|
Post by Neverending on Jul 2, 2017 2:31:47 GMT -5
Are those fireworks? Nope. Just red coats and colonists fighting in the front yard.
|
|
Neverending
CS! Platinum
Join Date: Jul 2003
Posts: 65,773
Likes: 8,647
Location:
Last Online Nov 22, 2024 18:30:10 GMT -5
|
Post by Neverending on Jul 2, 2017 2:33:50 GMT -5
They sent the entire British army to burn down Mel Gibson's house.
|
|
Neverending
CS! Platinum
Join Date: Jul 2003
Posts: 65,773
Likes: 8,647
Location:
Last Online Nov 22, 2024 18:30:10 GMT -5
|
Post by Neverending on Jul 2, 2017 2:37:59 GMT -5
Audiences needed a reason to hate the British so let's make them child killers. Also, Mel Gibson needed a reason to join the war. He doesn't care about you, America. He wants revenge!
|
|
Neverending
CS! Platinum
Join Date: Jul 2003
Posts: 65,773
Likes: 8,647
Location:
Last Online Nov 22, 2024 18:30:10 GMT -5
|
Post by Neverending on Jul 2, 2017 2:41:18 GMT -5
This is the famous scene where Mel Gibson invents guerilla warfare.
|
|
Neverending
CS! Platinum
Join Date: Jul 2003
Posts: 65,773
Likes: 8,647
Location:
Last Online Nov 22, 2024 18:30:10 GMT -5
|
Post by Neverending on Jul 2, 2017 2:46:16 GMT -5
The British just got murdered by Mel Gibson and two small children. How embarrassing.
|
|
Neverending
CS! Platinum
Join Date: Jul 2003
Posts: 65,773
Likes: 8,647
Location:
Last Online Nov 22, 2024 18:30:10 GMT -5
|
Post by Neverending on Jul 2, 2017 2:47:53 GMT -5
I'm watching the NC-17 version of this movie. So much blood. You'd think it was a Tarantino movie.
|
|
Neverending
CS! Platinum
Join Date: Jul 2003
Posts: 65,773
Likes: 8,647
Location:
Last Online Nov 22, 2024 18:30:10 GMT -5
|
Post by Neverending on Jul 2, 2017 2:50:17 GMT -5
Aunt's cleavage again. Lady, cover your tits. This is a kids movie.
|
|
Neverending
CS! Platinum
Join Date: Jul 2003
Posts: 65,773
Likes: 8,647
Location:
Last Online Nov 22, 2024 18:30:10 GMT -5
|
Post by Neverending on Jul 2, 2017 2:54:42 GMT -5
Sorry, kids. Gotta go kill those British bastards who murdered your brother. Stay here with your aunt's cleavage and those Black people we own.
|
|
Neverending
CS! Platinum
Join Date: Jul 2003
Posts: 65,773
Likes: 8,647
Location:
Last Online Nov 22, 2024 18:30:10 GMT -5
|
Post by Neverending on Jul 2, 2017 2:57:55 GMT -5
A cannonball tore off a guys head, followed by a wilhelm scream. Forgot this movie was a comedy.
|
|
Neverending
CS! Platinum
Join Date: Jul 2003
Posts: 65,773
Likes: 8,647
Location:
Last Online Nov 22, 2024 18:30:10 GMT -5
|
Post by Neverending on Jul 2, 2017 3:08:15 GMT -5
Do I have permission to ride Anne?
What?
WRITE Anne.
Oh.
Actual joke in the movie.
|
|
Neverending
CS! Platinum
Join Date: Jul 2003
Posts: 65,773
Likes: 8,647
Location:
Last Online Nov 22, 2024 18:30:10 GMT -5
|
Post by Neverending on Jul 2, 2017 3:11:45 GMT -5
Mel Gibson building an army of Red Coats hating men. So much white-on-white violence.
|
|
Neverending
CS! Platinum
Join Date: Jul 2003
Posts: 65,773
Likes: 8,647
Location:
Last Online Nov 22, 2024 18:30:10 GMT -5
|
Post by Neverending on Jul 2, 2017 3:27:44 GMT -5
This movie was made in someone's backyard. Mel Gibson is a farmer in South Carolina who joins the war after his 15 year old son is murdered by a British asshole. He builds an army, teaches them guerilla warfare and starts taking them down one by one. Problem is that 95% of the scenes take place in the same general area, basically their homes. So it constantly cuts back & forth between battle scenes and characters chilling in their neighborhood. For a movie set in the American Revolution, that's just boring. It makes it feel cheap.
|
|
Neverending
CS! Platinum
Join Date: Jul 2003
Posts: 65,773
Likes: 8,647
Location:
Last Online Nov 22, 2024 18:30:10 GMT -5
|
Post by Neverending on Jul 2, 2017 3:49:48 GMT -5
So the British asshole, tired of being humiliated by Mel Gibson, tracked down Aunt Cleavage and is gonna burn down her house. What the fuck is this movie? At some point it stopped being a war movie and turned into a generic Mel Gibson action movie. I'm just waiting for Danny Glover to pop up at some point.
|
|
Neverending
CS! Platinum
Join Date: Jul 2003
Posts: 65,773
Likes: 8,647
Location:
Last Online Nov 22, 2024 18:30:10 GMT -5
|
Post by Neverending on Jul 2, 2017 3:53:21 GMT -5
You also gotta admire how it sugarcoats slavery. Now that Aunt Cleavage and the kids have no home or family, they hide out in a Black village in South Carolina in the 1700's. Really, movie? Really?
|
|
Neverending
CS! Platinum
Join Date: Jul 2003
Posts: 65,773
Likes: 8,647
Location:
Last Online Nov 22, 2024 18:30:10 GMT -5
|
Post by Neverending on Jul 2, 2017 3:56:11 GMT -5
Oh, God. Mel Gibson gonna hook up with his dead wife's sister. Can this fucking movie end already?
|
|
Neverending
CS! Platinum
Join Date: Jul 2003
Posts: 65,773
Likes: 8,647
Location:
Last Online Nov 22, 2024 18:30:10 GMT -5
|
Post by Neverending on Jul 2, 2017 4:00:20 GMT -5
Fast forwarding this shit.
Oh, look. British asshole burning down a church with people inside.
Fast forwarding...
Oh, no. British asshole killed Heath Ledger.
Fast forwarding...
The final battle. Did the French finally arrive?
|
|
Neverending
CS! Platinum
Join Date: Jul 2003
Posts: 65,773
Likes: 8,647
Location:
Last Online Nov 22, 2024 18:30:10 GMT -5
|
Post by Neverending on Jul 2, 2017 4:03:03 GMT -5
Did a cannonball turn into a bowling ball and rip a guy's leg off? What the fuck is this movie?
|
|
Neverending
CS! Platinum
Join Date: Jul 2003
Posts: 65,773
Likes: 8,647
Location:
Last Online Nov 22, 2024 18:30:10 GMT -5
|
Post by Neverending on Jul 2, 2017 4:17:20 GMT -5
Mel Gibson killed British asshole.
The Americans won the war.
Black people have their freedom.
Awesome movie! Hope they show it in history class.
|
|
Wyldstaar
Producer
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 4,900 
Likes: 1,267
Location:
Last Online Nov 20, 2024 20:53:38 GMT -5
|
Post by Wyldstaar on Jul 2, 2017 7:21:38 GMT -5
Did a cannonball turn into a bowling ball and rip a guy's leg off? What the fuck is this movie? Actually, that sounds about right. Cannonballs of that era were just solid balls of metal, and a cannon crew tried to achieve a grazing shot that would bounce along low to the ground. A shot like that would take out a higher number of enemy soldiers. A cannonball that just hits one person and then buries itself in the ground is an ineffective use of a cannon. |
|
Deexan
CS! Silver
Join Date: Aug 2003
Posts: 18,196
Likes: 2,995
Location:
Last Online Nov 13, 2021 19:23:59 GMT -5
|
Post by Deexan on Jul 2, 2017 11:47:07 GMT -5
Mel Gibson hates the English.
Mel Gibson can suck a dick.
|
|
