March Madness

The Getaway (1972)
Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Garcia (1974)

Missing in Action (1984)
Missing in Action 2 (1985)

Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure (1989)
Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey (1991)

The Iron Giant (1999)
Big Hero 6 (2014)

Paths of Glory (1957)
Anatomy of a Murder (1959)

I guess on a purely technical level, Paths of Glory is the superior one but I found Anatomy of a Murder to be the more compelling of the two. Both tackle difficult issues: shell shock and rape, but Anatomy handles it in such a slice-of-life way that it just feels more relatable. You can see Jimmy Stewart as a real lawyer in a real life controversial case, whereas it’s tough to completely buy into Kirk Douglas defending “cowardly soldiers.” In reality, something like that would be wrapped up in government cover-ups and buried by the news. The movie is more idealistic than what the actuality would be. Anatomy just rings truer to me. Both respectable films but one just connects more. If SnoBorderZero wants to bitch about it, so be it.

Which are the others?

Ernest Goes to Jail

Ha, The Tenant. Polanski looking for an excuse to get in a dress.

September (1987)
Age of Innocence (1993)

I need to watch these again, when the Corona isn’t fucking with my vibe. PG Cooper, what’s your take?

Whaaat!?

Anaconda (1997)
Vertical Limit (2000)

Jon Voight should have gotten an Oscar for Anaconda

Congrats to Anatomy of a Murder for winning Corona March Madness



Your price: a hot date with SnoBorderZero

Please send Florence Pugh as a surrogate.

Out of Bounds (1986)
Patty Hearst (1988)

Did you ever watch that movie Tightrope that Clint Eastwood clearly directed although it was credited to some guy named Richard Tuggle. Well, Tuggle exists and he directed this movie called Out of Bounds starring Anthony Michael Hall in that phase of his career in-between John Hughes and Edward Scissorhands. Hall plays a kid from Iowa visiting his brother in Los Angeles. At the airport he accidentally picks up a drug dealer’s bag and shenanigans ensues. The movie is actually pretty fun. It’s cliche as hell but it has plenty of action scenes to keep you awake. Plus, Anthony Michael Hall doesn’t totally embarrass himself in the role.

Patty Hearst is, well, a snore. Paul Schrader directed it, but it looks like a cheap TV Movie of the Week. I read he did it for the money and you can tell. A lot of famous actors had early roles in this movie and that’s fun — but everything else is lazy and boring and I’m sure in 6 months I’ll forget I even watched it.

Eye for an Eye (1996)
Phantoms (1998)

Eye for an Eye stars Sally Fields as a mother whose daughter is raped & murdered, and so, she takes a self defense class and goes after the man responsible for her daughter’s demise. The premise sounds like Lady Death Wish, but they play it straight, and it fails because the execution is still rather silly and it doesn’t mesh with whatever tone they’re aiming for.

“Ben Affleck is the bomb in Phantoms, yo!”
— 1godzillafan

I can’t speak for Kevin Smith fanatics, such as Doomsday & Wyldstaar, but I had no clue what they were fucking talking about in Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back. Is that... a real movie? Not only is Phantoms a real movie, but it came out 6 weeks after Good Will Hunting and it was released by the same studio. In the midst of awards season, Miramax had the balls to say, “Ben Affleck is the bomb in Phantoms, yo!”

Is Ben Affleck the bomb in Phantoms? Not really, bro. In context, I guess, it makes sense. This was his first action-oriented role and would pave the road to playing Batman in the distant future. But it’s still 1990’s Ben Affleck. Outside of Kevin Smith movies, no one ever took Ben Affleck seriously as an actor. He would then follow Phantoms with two shitty Michael Bay movies and then become tabloid fodder in the 2000’s. So, yeah, don’t expect much.

Phantoms is directed by the guy that did Halloween 5 (another Miramax movie) and that might dismay someone like Dracula, but it’s actually the best thing Phantoms has going for it. It’s a horror/sci-fi romp about a town wiped out by creatures and the group of people trying to survive. The movie knows what it is and has fun with it — and it also has the budget to pull off all the splatter scenes it wanted to do. Cast includes Harvey Weinstein victim Rose McGowan, everyone’s least favorite Sabertooth Liev Schreiber and screen legend Peter O’ Toole in a surprisingly earnest performance.

Oh, and PG Cooper, Jay & Silent Bob Strikes Back celebrates its 20th anniversary this year. Maybe you wanna answer the question if Ben Affleck is indeed the bomb in Phantoms.